To Leap Without Looking
by Mini-Moffie13
Summary: Three months into their five year mission after the events concerning Admiral Marcus and Khan, the Enterprise is hit by a radioactive flare which reacts with Khan's blood inside James. Upon returning to Earth for tests Kirk realises it isn't just his body that is changing, it is his feelings too. And they are only amplified when he comes face to face with Khan. Rating has changed!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Star Trek Fanfiction, but I am a huge fan of both the Original series, Next Generation and Deep Space Nine, as well as the new films, and hence I've come to write this! I hope you enjoy :) Please review!**

**Note:**** Nagota is a planet made up by myself as I needed somewhere to start them off; Nagotan is the customary language of the planet and the people are known as Nagotans.**

**Chapter One: Nagotan Radioactivity:**

"Captain's Personal Log, stardate 2260.04. The USS Enterprise, on her 5 year mission to explore new worlds and new civilisations is now approximately eight and a half light years away from Earth, my home planet. It has been three months since the re-christening of the Starfleet vessel after the horrific events surrounding Khan Noonien Singh and Admiral Marcus's corruption.

"So far we have visiting six new planets, exploring and recording our findings on the civilisations inhabiting them and their climate. As ever, my First Officer and close friend Commander Spoke has proven to be an invaluable source of regulation and logic, in fact in these three months the entire crew has done nothing but flourish and improve in their roles and to their duties.

"I have no doubt that we are all greatly scarred by the events concerning Khan and Marcus, we have all lost people we cared for... All lost someone close to us and anyone who dares to say they haven't is an intolerable liar to boot. My own, and only, father figure Captain Pike was killed, something which I am still coming to terms with. Everything that has happened has caused us all to grow up, even myself, I am no longer as selfish or as womanising as I was before my death encounter.

"If anything, sacrificing myself in the way that I did, has given me greater insight and wisdom than I could have gained otherwise. I finally came to realise that my crew is my family and, as Khan so rightly said, I would do anything for them. I have gained the full respect of my crew, my family and even Mister Spock, who finally came to the realisation that what is between us is friendship, something I believe he was unfamiliar with beforehand.

"However, some things have no changed necessarily for the better. As it is recorded in my medical records, Khan's blood was used to regenerate me after I was severely irradiated by the warp core of the Enterprise... I feel no different than before but at the same time I am concerned and have no desire to be told otherwise. For this reason I have, much to Chief Medical Officer McCoy's chagrin, been avoiding my medical checkups.

"I am also unable to stop thinking that in some way Khan's punishment was too harsh; indeed he massacred hundreds in his revenge campaign but... Having myself been subjected to doing the insane for my crew I find that I can better understand his motives and for that reason I have secretly tendered to Starfleet command my hopes of having a trial to consider his removal from cryogenically frozen state, to be released into _my_ custody.

"As of yet I have not spoken to any member of the Enterprise's crew concerning my request, as I believe they would not understand my reasoning... Most of all Spock and Scotty who were two of the most deeply affected crew members by my temporary death. Mr Scott is still... Quieter after he came out of his unconsciousness to find me in the chamber leading to the warp core and Mr Spock is... Well he does a better job of maintaining control of himself but he has been more vocal about my apparent disregard for my own safety since he watched me die. I don't blame them... It's something I cannot begin to imagine... But this is something I know I need to do and I will see it through like I always do... No win scenarios don't exist, they _never_ exist. And I am living breathing proof of that, and I intend to stay that way.

"... Kirk out."

Captain James Tiberius Kirk cut the audio link as he heard the sound of the door to his room decompressing as someone entered; he turned in his seat and sat back more comfortably as he saw his Vulcan friend walking towards him in his casual 'off duty' clothing, "Mister Spock! What can I do for you this evening?"

"Captain, Lieutenant McCoy has informed me that you have skipped your medical for the seventh time, I must insist that you attend for the sake of your own health." His First Officer stated as he kept his hands behind his back in a stiffened stance.

"At ease Commander," he said before he scoffed and brushed his words aside, "I'm fine Spock... I don't need to get a medical."

"On the contrary Captain, it is important that we continue to monitor the effect of Khan's blood on your body. It is only logical to have regular checkups to ensure-"

"Spock." He interrupted with a rub of his forehead, "Please just leave it. Sit down, make yourself comfortable, and let's have a game of chess."

"Chess?" he repeated, "Captain, forgive me, but I fail to see how a game of chess is going to help in getting you to the medical bay."

Kirk ignored him and pulled the glass chess set he had been given by Pike on the day of his promotion to Captain and set it up on the table between him and Spock, as the Vulcan decided after several moments to indulge him. He turned the set so that the white pieces were in front of Spock and waited for him to make his move.

They played in near silence, it was easier that way, and there was a subtle hint of understanding between them when they did so. Leaning forwards in his seat as he concentrated, Kirk rubbed his forehead again, closing his eyes as he felt the beginning of a headache coming on. He had been getting more and more headaches lately, he was certain it was down to stress and lack of sleep.

"It is your move, Captain." Spock announced after ten minutes.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious." The other muttered before he nudged one of his pieces and took out Spock's only remaining bishop.

The two were interrupted suddenly by the bleep of the communication system, "Chekov to Captain Kirk, sir you are needed on the bridge."

"On my way Mister Chekov." The blond responded swiftly, pulling his yellow jumper on over his black shirt before he turned to his friend, "We'll have to conclude this later."

"Of course Captain." The Vulcan's lips twitched very faintly and Kirk swore as he saw he had been checkmated, "A rematch perhaps."

"You bet." He muttered before he ran out.

Upon reaching the Bridge and taking to the chair, Kirk was greeted by an incredible scene through the window. They were passing one of a newly discovered planet's suns (one of three) and it was spluttering whips of flame out into space.

"Mister Chekov your report please." His said firmly as he watched another belt of searing fire shoot off into the darkness.

The youngest member of the crew straightened in his chair and spoke quickly, his Russian accent thick but understandable as ever, "Yes Captain, about ten minutes ago the planet's largest sun began to become intensively hotter by approximately three thousand degrees, and has been shooting off solar flares ever since."

"Is it a danger to the planet?" he asked.

"It is possible that if the planet continues to heat up the planet's water supply could dry up, Captain. But there is no way of knowing for certain."

Kirk licked his lips in thought, "Nagota has just signed a treaty with Starfleet and has become a Federation planet... It is our duty to assist them. Mister Sulu, hail the planet's head quarters and given them a summary of events, tell them that we have the room, and are willing to evacuate their populace on board at their word." He decided.

"Yes, Captain." Came instant the reply.

Turning in his seat, Kirk glanced around for Uhura, frowning as he realised she was absent from her post, "Someone find Lieutenant Uhura as well please, she is able to speak Nagotan and will be able to calm the populace should they decide that evacuation is necessary." He ordered, covering his mouth with his hand as he closed his eyes and waited for a response from the planet's surface.

He was almost jolted from his seat when a sudden vibration hit the ship, juddering the walls and floors, hitting one of the many buttons on the arms of his chair he called down to the engine room, "Everything alright down there Scotty?!" he called.

"It is Captain, but I cannae guarantee it will stay that way! The warp core is being affected by some outside radiation sir, making it unstable. We should be fine, just don't go to warp." The Scotsman warned as he scurried around the heart of the ship trying to stabilise her.

Kirk blew out a breath and stood up as the ship rocked again, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked out of the front screen at the sun, "Chekov what is the designated path of that flare?" he asked as his throat went dry.

"Which one... Oh... Aye aye aye..." the Russian began tapping at his desk swiftly, "That is not a solar flare Captain! That is a flare of pure radioactivity!"

"Shit, raise shields!" he commanded loudly.

Balling his hands into fists as he watched the lash of radioactivity wash over screen and through the ship despite the shields; he staggered as the orange-red mist ran through his body and filled him with a warm sensation he had not encountered in the warp core's room. The warmth did not last long, and without warning he was struck by the sensation of having his legs knocked from under him, his head began to spin so fast that he could no longer distinguish the floor from the ceiling and he felt a crash as he fell to the floor.

Concerned voices floated towards his ears but he couldn't quite make out what words were being spoken as he dropped his head back against the floor and allowed unconsciousness to take him.

Hours later, after the successful evacuation of Nagota, James Kirk woke up in the medical bay feeling rough and sore. He groaned as he saw McCoy hovering over him like a vulture and half wished he was still asleep.

"Bones..." he croaked out, "What the hell happened?"

"Well Jim, I would like to point out that this could have been prevented if you had turned up for your appointments like you're supposed to." The doctor began, "You alone were affected by that blast of radioactivity that came our way, and it is not exceedingly good news Jim."

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyes now fully open with concern, "What do you mean not good news? And... Are you sure everyone else is okay?"

"Everyone else is fine, relax-"

"Relax?! You just said-"

Spoke appeared on the other side of the bed, "It would be wise to listen to the doctor before becoming agitated Captain."

"Don't agree with me Spock, it makes me extremely uncomfortable."

"I know, I recall you saying as much before." The Vulcan responded.

Rolling his eyes, McCoy looked back at his patient, "The radioactivity has done something... Triggered a dormant strand of DNA from Khan's blood... The DNA has been unrecognisable so far so Spock set a destination back to Earth so we can get you checked over properly."

"Slow down Bones, I'm still have asleep... What are you on about?"

Spock raised a hand as the doctor went to speak again, "Allow me to explain doctor," he offered, "Captain, as you know you were given a large transfusion of Khan's blood to regenerate your cells after the incident with the warp core. It was uncertain if it would have an effect on you aside from the healing speed. That is to say, when Dr McCoy asked you if you were feeling homicidal when you woke, he was being completely serious... We have no way of knowing if the blood would affect your personality and your physical form."

"So... You're saying that my exposure to the radiation from that sun has triggered a reaction from the blood?"

"Yes, Captain. We cannot be sure what sort of reaction and it must be looked into." The Vulcan confirmed.

"Great... I'm gonna be a lab rate again." He sighed and closed his eyes, "What are you going to compare the reaction against though? I thought you'd used all of Khan's blood up in the transfusion."

"We did..." Bones sighed heavily and wondered how best to break the news, "Starfleet have agreed to wake him up so we can use him."

"What?!" the blond sat up with no warning and started both the doctor and Spock, "They're really going to take him out of his cryogenic sleep?"

"Yes... We sent them a full report on what has happened and they agreed with very little difficulty..." the doctor responded.

"Although having said that," Spock said; his voice suddenly stern, "It would appear _someone_ had already asked for him to be woken up... Captain?"

Kirk looked at his friend as he was pushed back down onto the bed and laughed, "Why are you looking at me Spock?"

The Vulcan hesitated before he decided to tell him, "I listened to your private log when you left to go to the bridge."

"You pointy eared bastard!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the lovely response to the first chapter, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Bones is being a bad boy and telling lies to his Captain, Spock is skilfully getting on Kirk's nerves and Khan makes an appearance :) Please review and enjoy!**

**Chapter Two: San Francisco Bound:**

It had taken forty-eight hours to reach Earth; during that time Jim remained in the Medical Bay to Bones's surprise; he also remained quiet as he contemplated facing Khan again. It was true, he had sent his request to Star Fleet concerning the man's removal from his cryogenic sleep, but actually knowing that it was happening and that it was happening because of something that was occurring to _him_ made it seem so much more real; so very at the forefront of his mind. He was suddenly uncertain if he could deal with seeing the man again, the last time they had been face to face had been on board the Vengeance just after he had watched Marcus have his head crushed... It didn't make for an attractive memory.

Yet, at the same time, there were the _better_ memories. While he, certainly, couldn't forget the terrible crimes Khan had committed he did feel a sense of kinsman-ship with him; the superhuman had obliterated the Klingons who had attacked them on Kronos; he had fed him information that he would otherwise never had had, and would likely have died without knowing; they had flown through space side by side in order to get to the Vengeance and Khan had saved him from being a pretty smear on the side of the large Star Ship.

There were so many things Khan had done _right_, so many things he had done _properly_ and with consideration, they practically weight evenly against the things he had done wrong, the crimes he had committed. Maybe that was the problem, in being a superhuman Khan was able to subconsciously weigh up his actions so that regardless of them he could maintain a clear conscience?

Kirk shook his head, he couldn't afford to speculate about what went through the man's mind, he could never understand coldblooded murder, but he could understand the motivations of cold blooded murder. Well at least in Khan's case.

He looked up as he heard the usual mechanical clunking of the Enterprise docking at the space station above Earth; he stood up and straightened his uniform out before he looked around for Bones and saw the man tending to some minor burns.

"I'm going on ahead Bones, if Spock comes looking tell him I'll be at the shuttle." He called to the man, waving a hand lazily as he made a hasty exit of the Bay without waiting for a response from him.

He made his way off the ship and regretting it instantly, it felt like he was leaving home again; he shrugged the feeling off and made his way through the station, nodding and greeting a few members of the Federation and avoiding a couple of others as he made his way to the shuttle which would take them back to Earth, back to San Francisco. He briefly considered that if he had some time off he should head home to Iowa to visit his mother, but he then gave a moment of consideration to the fact that he really didn't want to spend any time with his waste of space step-dad, and quickly decided he would just give her a call instead.

Entering the shuttle and taking a seat at the front, closest to the pilot's cabin, and buckled the belts of the seat around his torso and waist. He rested his head back and closed his eyes; allowing his breathing to slow and his body to relax as he waited for the shuttle to fill up with the various members of his crew so that they could take off. He stiffened and jolted upright, his chest smacking off the belts around him as he had a sudden flash of frosted glass and a sensation of coldness rush over his skin.

Kirk glanced around, relieved when it appeared no one else had seen his miniature episode; he ran a hand through his hair and let out a long pent up breath, he shook his head and chuckled slightly at the stupidity of his 'moment' before he settled into his seat again as his Vulcan friend appeared out of nowhere and sat down beside him.

"Captain, I feel the need to point out that you should not have left the Medical Bay until the Doctor had dismissed you." These were the opening words to this particular conversation.

"Yeah, well I fancied some fresh air and a good seat." The blond responded coolly.

"The seats are allocated specifically, no one was likely to take it from you," the Vulcan pointed out, "And I find it difficult to believe you wanted 'fresh air' on a space station which uses artificial oxygen in its life support systems."

"For God's sake Spock... Just _leave it_!" he hissed abruptly, shooting a glare at his friend before he rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, "Sorry... Sorry I'm just a bit stressed out. Just... Just give me a break yeah?"

Spock stared at him for a long moment, inwardly debating whether or not he should question the Captain's ability to function properly while 'stressed', before he decided it would quite possibly earn him a broken nose and missing teeth, "Very well, I shall give you 'a break'." He responded curtly before he straightened in his seat and looked ahead.

Jim blinked but decided that he would take what he could get and relaxed in his seat again, or he tried to, but it just so happened that McCoy had gotten on the shuttle at that exact moment and time and decided to subject the Captain to several pre-flight checks before finally passing the dismissal order that the man was clear for air travel.

"Now, Jim," the man then began as he settled himself into the seat on Kirk's left hand side, "You are my patient until we find out what is happening to you and are able to do something about it. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Bones." The blond replied in a forced platonic tone.

"Let me explain that this means, if I say no physical exertion you stay in bed or you stay sitting down or you don't move around too much. Got it?"

"Got it." He nodded slowly.

"So, no running; no jogging; no walking over long distances; no raising your heart beat; no raising your pulse rate; no sports; no going clubbing and above all... No _sex_."

The Captain yawned, "Got it, fine, whatever, I don't care... Wait... Did you say no _running_?"

"What a wonderful time to develop a sense of humour, Jim, I'm serious." The Doctor said dangerously, "Don't forget I have the power to section you if you decide to back out of this agreement."

Kirk scoffed and rolled his head to the side so he was looking at the man, "Bones? I said _I got it_. I'm not backing out; I'm not even that bothered. I just want to get this over with."

"Yeah well... I'm a Doctor not a mind reader."

"Thank goodness for that." He muttered and looked away.

Once their shuttle had all thirty-six passenger seats filled they, among the other eight shuttles, departed from the space station on a premeditated flight path to San Francisco's Star Fleet Head Quarters.

For the life of him, Jim couldn't understand why this had been deemed _so_ important that they had to go all the way to the HQ to have him seen by a couple of specialists, the board of Admirals and finally on to meet with Khan if it was regarded utterly necessary. It was that final bit he was both anxious and excited about. He had told the truth in his personal Captain's Log, and he did feel some strange connection between them. The whole thing gave him the creeps; he wasn't one to normally believe in paranormal stuff like 'connections' and 'links' between people. It just didn't make sense and it didn't seem... _Logical_.

Mentally shaking himself, Kirk decided to simply stop thinking about it, whatever was going to happen would properly happen whether he liked it or not. And if there really was a problem with this... Dormant strand of Khan's DNA then he would soon find out and it would be rectified. It was as simple as that. And after all, he didn't even know if he was going to have to see Khan face to face... Or even talk to him. It would be _fine_.

They landed fifty minutes later, instantly beginning to unload the passengers; Kirk, Spock, and Bones were some of the last to get off and although he desperately wanted to return to his Federation supplied room in the Federation controlled apartment block just across the road from the Federation run Academy, he found himself being escorted by his two body guards instead. It was like they didn't trust him.

It was only a quick walk, maybe ten minutes long in total, to reach the Head Quarters of Star Fleet, and once there Kirk felt himself becoming immersed in officials, scientists, doctors, students, Admirals, Captains... It was a network of people. Like a beehive, everyone had their little roles and each role worked towards the singularity; the singularity being that they were all working towards exploring the stars and finding out everything they could. Yes... It was like the Queen Bee was the Archives and every other bee was simply responsible for pouring more and more information into the Archive. What a wonderful life.

The three of them made their way to the fifth floor, the medical floor to be precise; where their Captain was immediately admitted into a side room and forced to remove his clothing and get changed into an awful itchy gown.

He was then left, laid on the bed in complete silence while the 'professionals' went to get everything ready. He had briefly overheard something about blood tests, urine tests, faecal tests, brain scans, CT scans, MRI scans, and a prostate examination. Needless to say none of them sounded overly pleasant to him at that exact moment. Despite that, he would keep his word to Bones; the best he could hope for was that he had a nice pretty nurse taking his bloods... And he would hope that they were kidding about the prostate examination.

-/-

They hadn't been joking, Kirk recalled miserably as he curled up under the covers of his hospital bed. It took _hours_ for them to do all their bloody exams and by the end of it James Kirk was exhausted like he had never before been in his life, all the prodding; the pocking; the jabbing with needles, the probing of the prostate examination... It was too much for any man to bear. Admittedly he was used to having a lot of demand for his body, but this was just ridiculous!

He looked around as he heard the door open and all but pouted as he saw McCoy; Spock and strangely Carol Marcus entered his room. Their expressions weren't telling him anything, but then he knew all three of them had amazingly convincing poker faces. He sat up and reclined against his bed as he raised the back up slightly, interlocking his fingers and waiting for someone to speak as they all pulled up chairs beside his bedside.

When it appeared no one was going to speak, he decided to break the ice, "So, that was the first and last rectal exam anyone is ever giving me Bones. Seriously, if someone tries it again I'll be breaking their fingers. Got it?"

"Understood," the Doctor chuckled slightly before he cleared his throat, "So, we've been running a lot of tests-"

"I am well aware of that fact." He muttered

Bones glared as he was interrupted and continued, "Now, we don't have any conclusive results from any of the tests, but in your blood we were able to isolate the anonymous strand of Khan's blood which was affected by the radiation at Nagota, and I was correct to suggest that the dormant strand had been awoken."

"So you know what you already knew. So what?" Kirk asked as he folded his arms and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"To figure out what the DNA does we definitely need Khan, awake and out of cryogenic sleep," the Doctor sighed in defeat, "We will need to take the same tests out on Khan and compare results to figure this out, but for now... You need to sit tight okay? I will be releasing you from the hospital but you have to stay at your apartment."

"You know you could just _ask_ Khan about the DNA." Jim commented as he inspected his nails, "I think he would help."

"Why would he help you, willingly, Captain?" Spock asked suddenly, breaking his long silence.

He shrugged, "It is just a feeling I have. And what harm could it do? You can talk to him, ask him about it and then scientifically prove or disprove his thesis."

Spock and Bones shared a look for a long moment before Carol made a small coughing noise and spoke, "It's just a theory but... perhaps the questioning would be best coming from the Captain? I mean, Khan has only ever offered his assistance to the Captain in the past, despite it being for his own gain it was always in his presence that he told us anything."

The three men stared at her for a moment before Spock nodded, "That is logical."

"What? Spock, you can't agree that this is a good idea! Last time they saw each other Khan tried to kill him!" Bones exclaimed.

"But he did not. He instead decided to transport him back to the Enterprise and..."

"Blow us all up. Yes, that is _so_ much better." McCoy growled, "Bloody green-blooded hobgoblin."

"I'll do it." Kirk said simply, "I will talk to him. It will be a secure environment anyway so it is not like anything bad is going to happen is it?"

"But Jim-"

He held up a hand, "Bones... I know what you are getting at. Really I do and if it wasn't necessary I wouldn't do it but I agree with Miss Marcus, Khan has always been happier to talk to me directly. I think if there is a chance that he will talk, then he will want to talk to me."

The Doctor hesitated for a moment before he sighed heavily, "Fine. Fine... Khan will be woken up as soon as we get permission from the Admirals and then... Then you can go and visit him."

Kirk paused for a moment, "Is he already here? They've brought him to San Francisco?"

"Yes." He said a little bitterly, "He's in a room down the hall. He's still in his cryotube at the moment."

"Oh... I didn't realise." He shrugged it off and smiled, "So, all steam ahead my good Bones, off you pop and talk to people."

McCoy rolled his eyes and threw his hand in the air in disbelief at his friend's attitude to everything, it was like nothing penetrated his bloody armour; nothing got skin deep. He retreated from the room before he was overwhelmed by the desire to kill the man himself.

He paused by the door to Khan's room, the one right next to Jim's and looked through the glass door and the black haired man who was sitting silently in the bed, his eyes were closed; concealing those piercing ice blue eyes that seemed to penetrate into your head and make it seem like he knew what you were thinking. But he could tell that the man was tense, ready for action, ready to fight if he had to. Yet he hadn't. He hadn't fought a single man, woman or alien species since he had been woken up.

Bones didn't like lying to Kirk, but there were some things the guy was better off not knowing. Like the fact that Star Fleet had woken Khan the moment they had received the report on Kirk's condition, or like the fact that they had it on record that the first word out of Khan's lips was "James", or like that fact that Khan had been quiet and contented and very unlike the man they had previously encountered. Unless they were counting the man's time in the brig, because he had been _very_ calm then... Too calm. Just like now.

It made him _very uncomfortable. _So uncomfortable, that he could throw up.


	3. Chapter 3

**There was an absolutely amazing response to Chapter Two, so thank you very much everyone, I apologise if I didn't respond to your messages. I hope you continue to enjoy this chapter, Khan and Kirk come face to face so watch for the fireworks *wink wink***

**Chapter Three: Khan Noonien Singh:**

_Kirk stood in the airlock, triple checking that his space jumper suit was fastened up properly before he let out a breath into the glassy helmet; his eyes darted to his side where Khan was stood next to him and he watched awkwardly as the taller man slowly crouched down, seemingly preparing himself for the coming space jump. After staring for a moment and deciding not to look like an inexperienced novice, he crouched down as well and to the best of his ability he mimicked the super human's pose._

_He tried not to jump as Chekov's voice filled his helmet, somewhere among his thick Russian accent he was being informed of the distance and the necessity of remaining as parallel with the airlock of the USS: Vengeance as possible._

"_It's fine. I've done it before Mister Chekov." The Captain announced; upon catching the slightly bemused expression Khan shot him spoke again, "What? It was a futuristic... Romulan drill thing... We had to jump vertically down and land on it to disable it and... Never mind... Not important..."_

_Khan looked away, shaking his head slightly, but inwardly impressed by the feat. He could easily calculate that the odds of achieving a clean landing on a vertical drill were unlikely at best. Unable to stop himself he looked around again, "How many of you made the jump?"_

_Kirk paused for a moment to take in the question and blinked, "Oh, three of us: Olsen, Sulu, and myself."_

"_I have seen Commander Sulu, but I do not recall seeing a Commander Olsen onboard." He commented._

"_Yeah well Olsen was an idiot... Decided to see how late he could leave it before pulling his parachute and ended up being pulled under the drill and incinerated." He said with a sigh, "He was an idiot."_

"_Yes... Yes it would seem that he was an idiot." He agreed before he refocused on the task at hand, his curiosity sated for the moment._

_Only moments later the airlock was opened and they were sucked out by the force of space, straightening themselves out they aligned their bodies to the airlock of the Vengeance and plummeted through the open void towards it._

_Kirk was left cursing and swearing like no one's business as he had to dodge several articles of wreckage before he was caught around the face by a metal pole he hadn't seen until it was right in his face. He stared in horror as a crack formed on the visor of his helmet and gulped inwardly as it continued spreading, wiping out his heads up display to the extent he could no longer tell the distance between himself and the Vengeance. His condition wasn't helped at all by Spock informing him that he calculated it at impossible for him to reach the airlock without his HUD._

_The Captain's head snapped to the side as he heard a crash and tried to spy Khan, but found no trace of him, swallowing deeply he hoped that he would have to complete the final leg of his jump alone and without a way to set himself back on track._

_His azure eyes followed the crack as it etched further and further across his visor, threatening to fracture completely. He had seen what happened to an exposed body in space, freezing; radioactive frying; exploding... He didn't want to be an unattractive corpse. He didn't want to be a corpse at all in fact._

"_Kirk, come towards me, my HUD is intact and I can guide you." Khan's voice crackled over them communication device suddenly and relief pounded through the Captain._

"_You sure know how to worry a guy." He responded but used the pressurised thrusters in his forearms to guide himself towards Khan's figure._

_They came side to side, Khan glanced around fleetingly to double check the other man's condition before he looked ahead again, knowing that a second blow to the head would likely be the death of the man. That was not something he wanted to happen, he needed as many people as possible to be around so that he could reach Marcus. So he began fluently sending Kirk information about debris blocking his path so that he could take precautionary evasive manoeuvres. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that he held James Kirk in higher regard than any other human or alien he had ever encountered._

_A panicked few moments followed as Scotty failed to open the airlock hatch for them to enter through, and the pair rapidly found themselves getting uncomfortably close to becoming pretty smears on the side of the ship._

_With a gasp of relief the doors open just in the nick of time and they were sucked inside the ship, they both looked around as a body went flying passed them and for a moment Kirk felt a wash of sickness, hoping and praying that it wasn't Scotty._

_But when the hatch slammed shut and the gravity set in, Kirk and Khan were sent to the ground with a forceful crunch, the already fractured visor of the Captain's shattered completely, showering his face and the ground with glass. They skidded to a stop just a few feet from Scotty's slumped form; Kirk watched Khan sit up immediately, stunned that the man was able to shake stuff off like that._

_He slipped his helmet off slowly and dropped it to the floor as he picked himself up slowly and looked at Khan for a long moment before he looked back at Scotty who asked the all important question: "Who's this?"_

_Kirk shook his head for a moment, shaking the odd pieces of glass from his tousled blond hair, "Scotty this is Khan, Khan this is Scotty... My Chief Engineer if he agrees to have his job back."_

_Khan looked the man over for a moment, taking in his weak stature and goofy expression, "Yes well, this way." He said in melancholy as he stalked off, abandoning his helmet along the way._

_Kirk rolled his eyes, sighing heavily before he clapped his friend on the back and set off after the man, with no idea of what was coming next._

Jim sat up suddenly as the dream morphed into the image of Khan crushing Marcus's skull between his bare hands, sweating heavily and shaking slightly; it took him a moment before he realised he was feeling an intense pain in his arms and legs and released a bark of agony, collapsing back on the pillows as he writhed weakly under the sheets.

The door of the hospital room was flung open and Bones ran in, followed closely by a couple of male nurses. The three of them began fussing over him, checking his breathing and blood pressure as he continued writhing in distress. None of them could figure out what was going on.

The door opened again and Spock was stood in the gap, he strode over confidently and ushered the good Doctor aside before he leaned down and rested a hand on his friend's forehead before he slid his fingers down and closed his eyes as he tapped into his Vulcan abilities and began the Mind Meld.

A flinch emanated through Spock's body before he let out a long breath and opened his eyes, looking down into the slightly water blue ones of his close friend, "His body is changing Doctor, the bones in his arms and legs are... _Hardening_ to an extent, they are becoming less fragile and... Stronger."

"How can that be happening?" Bones asked as he began running a portable X-Ray machine over the young man's limbs, gathering the results up greedily as he pored over them for answers.

"It would be logical to assume it is a result of the DNA from Khan... Are we any closer to having answers Doctor?"

"No not yet, do you have any idea how complicated it is to pull apart a super human's genetic structure to find answers?" the man asked coolly, "Actually don't answer that."

Spock, who had opened his mouth to answer the question, shut his mouth again and looked towards his Captain, concern wavering through him. He maintained a straight face however and raised an eyebrow as Kirk grinned at him.

"You two are a couple of asses you know that? Here I was screaming in pain and it was left to two nurses to give me painkillers whereas it should have been the first priority." The blond said as he watched the two male nurses leave.

"Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a miracle worker!" Bones exclaimed.

"Well you could have fooled me." He retorted coyly before yelping as his kneecap was hit with a small plastic hammer to test his reflexes, "Okay point taken."

"At least we know that the morphine works... You're not going to stop talking for hours." The doctor huffed.

"If that is the case I will excuse myself." Spock said hastily and retreated after the nurses.

Jim pouted slightly as he was left alone with Bones but sighed and looked at the man, "When can I go to my apartment Bones? It is killing me in here..."

"Sorry Jim, but with this new development it's going to have to wait a while longer. I know I promised to discharge you but we need to get you stable first, we don't want you stepping into a shower and exploding do we?" the man chuckled.

"Ugh you have a sick sense of humour."

"I am a doctor."

"Yes, but not a jester." He reminded him.

"I'll come back and check in on you again later, so for goodness sake don't go doing anything stupid."

"Like what?" he growled as the doctor left the room as well.

What felt like hours after his episode of chronic pain, Kirk got out of bed, he knew full well that Bones would be furious but he was going mad. He wasn't designed to sit still or lounge in bed all day... He was designed to run around, explore, and fight. Even a brisk walk would do him good.

He grabbed hold o his IV drip trolley and discreetly detangled himself from the itchy hospital gown he had been given, instead pulling on the black trousers and sweater of his uniform. He kept one sleeve rolled up so that his canular was accessible, before he made his bid for freedom.

It only took him a few glances to realise he had been in the same hospital before, twice in fact. The first time had been post-Nero, along with Spock he had spent an entire week climbing the walls, having his various breaks and bruises treated and repaired. Despite his distaste for being prodded and poked in the name of medicine, Spock had been something of a lifesaver, and it was in that one week that he had learned the most about his Vulcan friend.

They had spoken at length, being in adjacent beds left room for plenty of small talk of course, but these were full blown conversations about Vulcan traditions, the planets' weather, culture and geographic structure. Kirk had a feeling that his friend had needed to talk about his home, to help with the grief of losing it.

And in turn, Kirk told him about his youth, growing up with the overbearing memory of how his father had saved hundreds of lives on the day he had died... He held no malice towards the man but he didn't know the guy. He had seen photographs of him, and he had to agree that they looked very alike; in fact he looked more like his father than he did his mother, but who was his father aside from a man in a photo? No one. He never felt that his step-dad had been a fatherly figure to him, the guy smelled and treated him like he was the spawn of the devil. Certainly, that week had brought them closer together, even closer than fighting Nero side by side, they got to know what made the other tick and they began, to a point, understand each other.

Of course, his second visit had been after he had been irradiated by the warp core. It was a memory he preferred not to recall in great detail.

Kirk let out a quiet groan as his muscles protested under the pressure of walking but he ignored them and continued moving. The morphine was still in his blood stream so he trusted it to take care of the issue.

He looked left and right down the hallway as he engaged with his surroundings, there was a small army of medical supervisors around him but they weren't about to bother him if he acted normally. It was during his sweep of the halls that he saw two members of Star Fleet's Security Division and a frown formed on his face. He didn't recognise either of them but he could tell by their uniform that they were junior officers.

Shaking his head, he made to move but stopped by the steely cold hands of a shudder running up hand down his spine like an icy mist; the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and his fingers twitched towards where he normally would have kept his phaser. Regrettably, Bones had taken it off him to stop him shooting holes in the walls out of frustration.

Nevertheless, he turned very slowly on the spot and stopped as his line of sight fell on the name plaque of the room beside his own:

_Khan Noonien Singh_

His heart leapt into his throat and began beating like he had just run a marathon, swallowing hard and wheeling his IV trolley with him as he walked the mere feet to the door and peeked through the glass panel and into the beyond.

Unable to stop himself, he stared at the high sculpted cheekbones, marble white skin and jet black hair of Khan, the man was reclined on the bed, seemingly relaxed but his muscles remained taught under his clothing which was unchanged from the last time he had seen the man.

He hadn't seen him since the events on the Vengeance, and by the time he had woken from his medically induced sleep Khan had already been imprisoned in his cryotube again. It troubled him to an extent that he had never had a chance to thank him for his blood, or to slap him for being an ass. Having both dreaded and longed to see him again, finally having the man before him was a peculiar feeling and he found himself feeling foolish for having dreaded it so much.

Quelling his desires was too difficult and he succumbed to them, the Captain opened the door and slipped into the room, shutting it behind him again with a click.

"Have you come to inflict further medicinal torture upon me, Doctor?" Khan asked, eyes never once opening.

Kirk was momentarily stunned, having forgotten how enthralling the other's voice could be, "Not my area of expertise, sorry. I can tell Bones if you really want to poked and prodded some more." He grinned slightly as he spoke, slipping into his sarcastic facade like a professional.

The other's eyes snapped open and met Kirk's, "James Tiberius Kirk."

"Khan Noonien Singh." He replied.

The dark haired man smirked, "You have been practicing to say that haven't you?"

"Oh, every waking moment!" Jim laughed and walked closer to the the bed, coming to a stop near his feet, "How've you been?"

"In cryogenic sleep. You?"

The blond chuckled, "Battling radioactive flares and agonising bone growth. Thanks for asking."

It was so easy to fall into a state of relaxation with the man, to almost forget why they were there and what had been done. It was far too easy. Khan watched the other with a curious gaze, and hastily shifted his legs as the blond then insisted on sitting at the bottom of his bed, considering the absence of chairs.

"They... They told me that you hadn't been woken up yet." Kirk said after a moment of consideration.

"How curious," he answered stiffly, "I was was woken before your arrival, and informed as to the reasons."

The blond raised an eyebrow and chuckled; throwing a hand through his hair, "Perfect...Should have guessed Bones and Spock would lie to me, why would they tell me the truth? I'm only their Captain and friend."

Khan also raised an eyebrow, "It is likely because of the latter that they lied. Both have visited me, Doctor McCoy wisely chose to be the only medical staff member who is permitted to have contact with me. Most of Star Fleet is still unaware that I have been removed from among my crew again... It would likely cause uproar. As such, I have been gifted with two security personnel to discourage unwanted attention. Knowing you, that probably wouldn't stop you."

Kirk merely scoffed and looked out of the window, "You don't know me Khan."

"On the contrary, you are a most interesting specimen for an average human, you are hardly average at all in fact. So, I have been doing my research, seeing as I have so little else to do at the moment."

"At the moment? Couldn't you break out if you wanted to?"

"Yes."

Jim stared at him, "Then why are you still here?"

The dark haired superhuman released a very small chuckle, "As you so aptly put it... 'It I wanted to' and I do not. Not at the moment, Doctor McCoy has been polite considering the circumstances, except for his peculiar brand of name calling. I do not believe I have green blood... Nor am I a hobgoblin."

The Captain laughed freely at that, "Ha, I wouldn't worry, he calls Spock that too."

Khan almost rolled his eyes but stopped himself and interlocked his fingers over his stomach, "As I was saying... I have done my research. Jim or 'James' was the name of your grandfather on your mother's side, while Tiberius was the name of your grandfather on your father's side. Kirk being the family name inherited from your father, George, who died on the-"

"On the USS Kelvin during a lightning storm in pace which actually turned out to be a massive black hole which allowed a Romulan ship from the future to enter out timeline and change our futures. Yeah, you got that right." He interrupted, his jaw clenched.

"You are uncomfortable with the achievements of your father and feel overshadowed by him. All your life you have been reminded of what a brilliant and brave man he was- but why should you care? You didn't know him, you will never know him. So why bother taunting you with merits of a man you can never meet or hope to live up to?"

Kirk turned very slowly and looked at Khan, straight in the eye, "Damn."

"What? Never had someone understand you before?"

He smirked slightly before he laughed it off and rubbed his chin, "Well... Spock gets it, but that is only because we've Mind Melded a couple of times." He shrugged, "So... You researched my Mom, my father and even my grandparents. But from what I have seen you still only have a name and a tiny understanding about why I will never be respectful of a dead man. Not a lot really. I'm disappointed."

It was Khan's turn to smirk this time, "Who said I was finished? You are... Highly intelligent for a human. I hacked into the Iowa database and you have an _extensive _criminal record. I wonder how you managed to get into Star Fleet at all-"

"Pike." He stated as calmly as he could manage, "Christopher Pike got me in."

"I see..." Khan hesitated as he considered the name, "I killed him didn't it?"

"Yep."

"I... Apologise for taking him from you." He said after a moment.

Jim shrugged, "At the end of the day... If someone took my family and threatened me with their well being then I would kill anyone in my path to make sure they were safe. You killed the only man I ever thought of as a father figure... But I don't hate you... I'm not even angry anymore. He was a family man as well and I think... I _know_ he would have understood you as well. I get it Khan... I understand why you did it and I... I don't think you are a monster or a madman... I think you are a killer with reason."

"James Kirk... I swear you are nobler than you pretend to be." Khan announced, "I... Thank you for your words. Back to the research, you are quite the ladies' man, but I would wager that you use them to make yourself feel better. You never let anyone get close to you because you fear losing them. You almost lost your crew, for example, and it drove you to do something insane and crazy. I don't think you want to use them, I think in your heart you want someone who can be strong enough to stay with you. You want someone who is strong enough not to leave you; someone who can see through your flaws."

"Oh so I am emotionally damaged huh?" he murmured in amusement.

Khan gave him a crooked smile which made his heart jump into his throat, "You know you are."

Kirk sighed and looked away, "No comment. Besides you are wrong anyway."

"Oh? What am I wrong about?" he other asked curiously.

"About me being a ladies' man. Sure I've had a load of one night stands, and I don't want to be tied down to one person... But I am _not_ gender specific. I can be a man's man too." Kirk grinned as he saw a flash of shock pass over Khan's face and he laughed, "You won't find that on record though."

"I... Hmm..." Khan frowned fleetingly before he glanced him over and fell silent.

Jim raised an eyebrow and let it slide for a moment before he shook his head at the awkward silence, "Does it bother you that much?" he asked as he leaned back on his hands.

"It does not bother me. I am merely surprised that I couldn't find some information about it. Please don't think I am judging you, I am hardly in the position to do that. Besides, I don't think there is anything wrong with fancying a bit of both worlds."

"No I suppose you aren't in the best position to..." he paused as he continued to speak and his mouth hung open slightly, "Are you saying what I think you are saying?"

Khan gave him a cheeky wink, "I will leave it for you to work it out."

Kirk felt his face going red as he saw a familiar but strange look in Khan's eyes and his mouth went dry for a moment, he cleared it discreetly and licked his lips before he let out a yelp as the other grabbed his wrist suddenly and lifted it to inspect the limb. He tilted his head and wondered what the other was doing, he made no further sound of complaint and simply watched him, surprised by how soft the pads of the man's fingers were, when everything else about him screamed things like 'rough' and 'tough-guy'.

"What are you doing?" he asked finally, when he could take the endless inspection and touching no more.

Khan looked up at him but continued to brush his fingers against his forearm firmly but not painfully, "Something happened didn't it? I know the radiation storm your ship encountered led to the destabilisation of a rouge strand of my DNA. That is why you were grounded and I was woken. But I know little more than that, I have had scans, X-rays, blood samples... Any sort of test Doctor McCoy could do he has done."

He sighed quietly, watching his fingers as they danced across his skin, "I uh... I woke up, I had been dreaming about what happened in the airlock before we made the trip to the Vengeance. When I woke up I felt like I was burning, my arms, and legs were so painful... It was worse than a kick in the balls. It felt like they were breaking and mending constantly. Spock did the Mind Meld to try and calm me, and found that my bones were strengthening, thickening slightly. The X-ray confirmed it."

"Truly?"

"Why would I lie? It was bloody agony until someone had the sense to give me some morphine." He paused and sighed." He paused and sighed, "You can... Feel the difference through my skin can't you? That's why you are prodding."

"Not exactly... When you first came in I would have sworn to see a bruise on your wrist but it has disappeared during our conversation. I was curiously about it but that is now sated."

"Oh? You have a very short attention span." He teased.

Khan glanced at him and a smile played around the edges of his lips, "Yes well... I just broke your wrist twice and you didn't even feel it because it healed straight away again. Thought you'd want to let McCoy add it to his growing repertoire of notes."

Kirk yanked his hand back and began feeling it, trying to feel a break or crack in the bone; when he found none he frowned faintly, "So... This is why you laughed when I was breaking my knuckles on your cheekbones on Kronos," he murmured, "I broke the bones but they healed instantly so..."

"I never felt them break. It was more like a tickling sensation. Excellent deduction work." He said with a sarcastic amusement.

Jim rolled his eyes and glanced at the door, "I... Should go really, Bones will go ape if he finds me missing, even more so when he finds out where I went." He sighed heavily, not really wanting to leave, which confused him somewhat at the same time.

"You are scared of what he will say?" Khan questioned.

"Not really... But the guy is treating me for this... DNA thing so it would probably be wise not to annoy him too much."

The dark haired man laughed suddenly, it was a pleasant sound which took Kirk by surprise, "What is he going to do? Kill you for talking to me? Strap you to your bed?"

He pouted, "You have no idea what he is capable of doing... Seriously!" he growled as Khan continued laughing at him and folded his arms, "Alright then listen to this then... The first time I ever served on the USS Enterprise was down to Bones, but I was on academic suspension for... _Cheating_ in the Kobayashi Maru exam, we were all called out to assist Vulcan which was experiencing a 'natural disaster' but I couldn't go because of the whole cheating thing. So Bones injected me with the vaccine for Melvarian Mud Fleas which gave me the symptoms and he smuggled me aboard as his patient. He then proceeded to give me a sedative which caused a massive allergic reaction and made my hands swell up to the size of dinner plates... My tongue went numb and I my face went puffy. He nearly killed me!"

Khan shook his head as he finally regained control of his reactions and cleared his throat, "Fair enough, no one would want a repeat of that."

"Exactly." He puffed.

Kirk watched as the other settled back and got comfortable on the bed again, "You should go," Khan said more seriously, "We don't want to cause any problems with Star Fleet; it would be easy enough to simply put me back to sleep again after all."

"Aren't they going to do that after this is over anyway?"

He glanced away for a moment, "Possibly... I suppose it depends on whether I am any help to your cause or not." Khan looked back at him and offered him a smile, "I am certain that with your _skills_ you could come and visit me again if you wanted to. You aren't the kind of man who seems like he would back away from something he wanted."

"Heh..." he raised an eyebrow at him, "I guess your research did help you out after all."

"Of course. I rarely look into something unless it really interests me after all, but when I am interested... I don't let go."

For some reason, Khan's words sent a shiver down Kirk's spine and after a few further brief words, he left the man's room and returned to his own, thankfully Bones was still absent and the security personnel were none the wiser either. Reclining on the chair beside his bed, Kirk looked out of the window before he then looked at his arm where he had been touched by the other man, a smirk skittered over his lips as he recalled the oh so sexy wink Khan had flashed at him.

He was dangerous, Jim was under no illusions as to that fact, but currently... He didn't give a damn.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the lovely reviews for chapter 3, I am glad you all enjoyed it. Little treat for you all towards the end of the chapter, you deserve it! :3**

'**The best kiss I never had' is one of my favourite quotes from Discworld's Going Postal, it seemed to fit quite well in this chapter *laughs* **

**Chapter Four: The Best Kiss I Never Had:**

Jim kept his word, he used his 'skills' as Khan had called them to sneak in and see him several times over the next few days, each time narrowly escaping being caught by Bones or Spock. He reasoned that it was worth the risk of being caught, to have the chance to get to properly understand Khan and to talk to someone who didn't judge him or try to spout logic at him all the time.

Sure Spock was a good friend, but sometimes he just needed someone _human_ to talk to. Which was a strange thing to consider, when Khan himself was more than a human, he was a _super_human. It wasn't logical or perfect, it was what it was. And he wasn't even sure what that meant anymore.

In the days following their first conversation, they learned much about each other, storing every detail to memory; Jim discovered that Bones had begun to unravel some small facts about his condition, information that he had only discussed with Khan and Spock. Anger and disappointment had flooded his senses upon learning that, the fact that it had taken a partial outsider to tell him the truth whereas it should have come from Bones...

"_... All he told me that as far as he can see my blood and DNA did its job of healing your cells perfectly, but as with everything concerning me and my crew we are superior... Because of the level of genetic matter transfused into your body the DNA is going into overdrive, trying to heal things that don't require healing. Doctor McCoy said it should settle down in a month or two..."_

As he recalled the memory of his last conversation with Khan, he felt that anger return again, Bones should have told _him_ that information before Khan! He felt no anger towards the superhuman; it wasn't his fault, but Bones... The man was supposed to be his friend and yet he was hiding the truth from him.

Kirk growled under his breath and sat up on the bed, glaring out of the window as he took several deep breaths to try and calm himself. He couldn't afford to lose his temper; he had to consider that there was a reason for Bones's secrecy. And in truth, if he hadn't been sneaking in to see Khan he wouldn't have known any different... So it was partially his own fault anyway.

Looking around as the door opened, he let out a sigh as the man in question walked into his room, his nose almost buried in electronic notes; Bones's eyebrows were furrowed and his nose slightly scrunched up like he was thinking really hard.

"Bones, lovely of you to visit me. Did you bring flowers or grapes?" Jim asked sarcastically as he laid back on the bed slowly, letting his hands rest on his lap loosely.

"Haha Jim," the Doctor responded stiffly before he lowered his notes and looked him over, "I am discharging you, temporarily. You are free to go back to your apartment under the conditions we have already discussed. You are also not to be left on your own for any length of time in case your condition changes again so I am sending Spock with you."

"No chance." The Captain snorted, "My apartment is my little safe haven, and no one is trespassing in there."

"Jim..."

He gritted his teeth, "No Bones I mean it! If you aren't happy with that then I guess you will just have to keep me here instead!"

Momentarily taken aback by his friend's unusual bout of surliness, the Doctor sighed before he glanced over the notes again, "Fine. But if you have any problems at all you come straight back here and talk to me alright?"

"Fine." He replied and all but leapt out of bed as he was detached from his cables and canular.

Grabbing the pile of clothes that were shoved in his direction, Jim hastily pulled them on, throwing his gown at Bones before he stalked passed, eager to leave but also not so eager to leave without being able to say goodbye to Khan.

That was when he saw a poster on the notice board and a plan formed in his head, this would solve his problem and it would make sure he didn't have to spend another one of 'those days' alone. He turned on his heel and strode towards the security guards posted outside of Khan's room.

"We cannot let you pass." One of them said - his voice gruff and his hand firmly fixed to his phaser.

"Pity you haven't said that the last seven times I've come here then isn't it?" he asked before he nudged one of them out of the way and went into Khan's room.

"Jim!" Bones exclaimed from outside before he had the door slammed in his face.

The Captain took a moment and let out a breath before he turned and looked at Khan, "Good afternoon." He greeted.

"What was that all about? I thought you were trying not to annoy Doctor McCoy..." the superhuman frowned.

"Yes well, he has discharged me so I am free to go, I don't need to worry about the repletion of the Melvarian Mud Flea incident." He responded with a sigh as he flicked the lock shut to stop them from being interrupted. He could hear Bones swearing at him through the glass but ignored him.

"I see, so you will not be visiting anymore?"

"On the contrary... I have a better idea than visiting you. I am getting you out of here for an evening." He smirked.

Khan frowned and tilted his head slightly, "And how do you plan to do that without breaking at least a dozen regulations?"

"Bah, who cares about regulations?" he asked as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed by his waist, "There is a... Dinner party this weekend for the superior ranks, I was thinking of attending but I would need a companion."

"And your point is?" Khan frowned very slightly, not entirely following the other man's thought process.

"And you say you're a genius," Kirk muttered, "You are a Captain aren't you? Or was that all a lie?"

"No it wasn't a lie but I... Ah, Captains are superiorly ranked officers." He closed his eyes as he realised what he was getting at, "But I am a prisoner and a known killer."

"Good job it is a masquerade then." Jim grinned at him, "Come on, you aren't _scared_ are you?"

"No, I'm not scared at all... Very well, seeing as you asked so nicely, James, I accept your invitation." The dark haired man smirked slightly, "I would like to see you get permission to take me though, after all, I'm under lock and key."

"The lock and key of Doctor McCoy, who owes me one." The blond shrugged.

Khan raised an eyebrow and watched as the other Captain stood up and strode over to the door, unlocking it and letting a fuming Doctor inside.

"What the hell are you playing at Jim?!" the man exploded, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, "How did you even know he was here?!"

"Damnit Bones calm down," he grabbed his hands and pushed them away, "I've been popping in to visit Khan for days, next time you want to hide him from me make sure he is in a different ward from me... Or even better don't hide him right next door. You idiot."

"You weren't supposed to leave your room, you were under observation!"

"You know I go crazy staring at four walls!" he protested, "Just get over it. Khan's... He isn't a monster and he isn't going to try anything so you can get rid of those security guys."

Bones stared at him, "Have you gone crazy?" he breathed, glancing at Khan before looking back at his friend, "Do you need reminding of what he did? What he could still do?"

"I know what he did... I was there, I saw it, I lived it and I don't care." He told him, "The things Khan did were done because he was abused and his family were used against him... If it had been me I would have done anything to protect you guys... To protect the Enterprise!"

"You _did_ do anything Jim, you stuck yourself in a radiation chamber and killed yourself to save the Enterprise!" he snapped, "It was only by a damned miracle we were able to save you and I will be damned if I lose you again!"

Jim blinked and stared at him for a long moment as he absorbed the information he had been battered with. He looked down and for a moment his shoulders drooped, uncertain of how to react or respond to what had been said. The affection and the devotion was something he tried to distance himself from, love made you weak, it made you vulnerable and it got you killed.

He looked up suddenly and laughed, "Come on Bones, this is me we're talking about. I am too much like a bad penny for any of you to throw away with any amount of success. Besides, if your diagnosis is correct I will be all but invulnerable for the next few months right?"

Bones rolled his eyes at his friend's words before he froze as he finished speaking, "How do you know about my diagnosis?" he asked before he caught sight of Khan looking away sheepishly, "Oh, of course, someone has a loose tongue."

"You should have told me yourself Bones, I am glad that Khan had the decency to tell me the truth."

"It wasn't the truth!" the Doctor barked, "It was speculation!"

"Oh come off it, you never speculate." Jim clapped the man on the shoulder.

Bones sighed heavily and looked away for a minute, he could be bothered to correct the man, and at that moment in time he could be bothered to deal with him full stop. Instead he shrugged and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I just know I am going to regret this, but fine have it your way..." he sighed, "I'll relieve the security personnel of their duties. As long as Khan doesn't mind us keeping him tagged so we can locate him... He is free to leave the hospital."

"Really?" Khan asked, sitting up slowly, "I didn't anticipate to be allowed to wander freely... I was under the impression that I would be confined to prison or put back to sleep once I had outlived my usefulness."

"You aren't useless yet though, like I said my diagnosis of Jim's condition isn't definite but it is going to take a while to properly assess and to be frank the pair of you are taking up two beds that could be used by real patients. I am pretty sure I am going to regret doing this but... Jim would just break you out of here anyway if I didn't." Bones said with a heavy breath.

Jim grinned and stepped back, "Knew I could count on you, Bones!"

"Don't even go there..." the Doctor muttered as he tapped a few things into the notes and walked out, shaking his head as he went.

"How did you manage this?" Khan asked as they walked side by side towards Starfleet HQ where the masquerade dinner party was taking place.

"Magic." Kirk responded with a casual smirk.

In the days following their dual release from the hospital, Kirk had taken his time to show Khan around San Francisco; although he constantly reminded himself that the man could snap his neck in a heartbeat or crush his skull with his bare hands, he couldn't help but be relaxed around him and he found himself sinking into a pattern of something he might dare to distinguish as... Friendship? Comradeship?

It was close to eight in the evening, which was when the party would officially begin; it had taken the best part of two days and a bucket full of Kirk's suave persuasive ability to convince Khan to actually attend in fancy dress. Not to mention he had been forced to point of about six times that Khan needed to be disguised so that people didn't panic and try to start a riot.

So, there they were walking towards Starfleet HQ dressed as a couple of 18th Century pirates, in addition to their costumes they were both wearing elaborately decorated masks which covered their eyes and noses, leaving their mouths clear. Jim's mask was black with turquoise swirls and diamantes which matched his eyes and made them seem brighter, while Khan's mask was a very dark midnight blue with ice blue patterning and feathers, they also matched the colour of his eyes and made them seem larger and more vibrant than before.

"I have never worn anything so ridiculous in my life... I still can't believe I allowed myself to be talked into this..." the superhuman grumbled.

"Are you still whining?" Jim asked, "It will be fun, you just have to let yourself relax a little bit. _Trust me_."

"Hm, trusting you is the bit which is making me the most anxious." He muttered.

"You wound me!"

Khan, however embarrassed to be clad in such clothing, followed him the entire way and remained quiet while the other addressed the man on the door.

"Name." The man asked, he was dressed as a wizard, holding a large staff in his hand and an electric clipboard in the other.

"James T Kirk Captain of the USS Enterprise and this is my plus one." Jim answered smoothly, watching as his voice was recognised by the security program on the clipboard.

"Alright, go ahead Captain Kirk. Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you, enjoy yours." The blond answered as he bowed the cap of his pirate hat in mock respect, smirking widely as he went inside of the building.

The last time Khan had been in the HQ it had been a very dreary and dull building, however it appeared that Starfleet really pulled out all the stops when it came to dinner parties, the lobby had been outfitted with an abundance of lights and streamers, gothic candelabras and suits of armour. Music could be heard from the conference room where the party was being held and the pair moved onwards, both hesitating momentarily as the doors opened for them, their survival instincts flaring before they went inside.

The conference room was even more startling than the lobby. A huge 'n' shaped table lined one half of the room and was laddened with finger food and drinks; while the centre of the room had a small gathering of about one hundred tables and three times as many chairs; and the far side of the room had been converted into a dance floor. Starfleet had certainly out done themselves.

"This... Wasn't what I was expecting." Khan admitted in a breath.

"Me neither... The guys at the top of the Starfleet _actually_ have taste in music." Jim commented before he met Khan's gaze and they shared a smirk, "What? You weren't thinking the same thing?"

"Actually I was..." the dark haired man answered, "Marcus allowed me that one luxury at least; during my forced employment I was permitted music. It was one good thing that happened."

Frowning faintly as he mentioned Marcus, Kirk looked away and scanned the crowd, "Oh damnit."

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot Spock would be here. This way." Without thinking he grabbed Khan's wrist and half dragged him into the crowd so that they could avoid the Vulcan First Officer.

When they came to a stop, over the other side of the room from the man, Khan shook his wrist free, "Why did you not wish for your friend to see you?" he asked.

"Because Bones has probably spoken to him and the last thing I need tonight, of all nights, is to have regulation spouted at me." He growled in response as he turned towards the food stable and stabbed a cocktail sausage venomously before he ate it.

"What do you mean tonight of all nights?" Khan questioned, leaning against the food table so that he could see the other's face... And mask.

"It's just... It doesn't matter. I just want to relax and have some fun tonight." He said quietly.

The superhuman contemplated his response for a moment: it was clear that Kirk was somewhat adverse to the idea of discussing what was on his mind yet at the same time he could hear the need to talk about it in his voice. He wasn't going to push him into talking to him if he didn't want to, but he was going to make sure he spoke about it at some point, even if he let it drop for the night so that Kirk could have the evening he wanted... He would remind him of it at some point. He was curious.

"I'll keep an eye on Mister Spock for you," he said as he took a second sausage off the Captain and ate it himself, "You sound like you need to unwind."

"Too right," he sighed and pouted slightly as his food was stolen, "I owe you one."

Khan paused as he considered the many, many ways he could claim that 'one' before he cleared his throat and scanned the crowd for the Vulcan, "Move towards the drinks." He said as he saw the man heading in their direction.

"I swear he is more persistent than fleas." The blond muttered under his breath and allowed himself to be steered out of the way.

"You know, it isn't entirely fair to see that he isn't in costume." Khan commented.

Kirk snorted, "Oh he would never do something as fun as dressing up... No no... That would be far too illogical."

"Clearly."

Spock continued to follow them around the room, whether or not the Vulcan was actually aware of this or not, neither of them knew, however it was becoming somewhat annoying. Khan paused as he heard the music change to fast beating Spanish style music and an idea came to mind that would hopefully throw Spock off their scent.

Khan, gripped Kirk's wrist, not enough to hurt him but enough to grab his attention, "Can Spock dance?" he investigated.

"What?" the blond asked in confusion, "Of course he can't, he wouldn't give it the time of day."

"Excellent. Follow me."

Spluttering in puzzlement Kirk allowed himself to be pulled through the centre of the crowded room, suddenly understanding as the dance floor came into sight, "Are you serious?" he quizzed, "You are inviting me to dance?"

"Yes... Why, are you adverse to the idea?" Khan asked as they moved.

"Not at all... But I never had you down as the type." He shrugged.

"And I didn't realise you were interested in men as well as women, so we are now even," he smirked, "Besides... This way you get to enjoy yourself a little without worrying about Mister Spock finding you."

Kirk raised an eyebrow at him, "Fair enough, we are even then," he smirked slightly, "No need to use Spock as excuse though... You just want to put your hands on me."

Khan looked at him and smirked himself, "You overestimate your effect on me Captain Kirk."

"Oh, so I do have an effect on you then? Thank you for telling me." He chuckled.

"That was coy." The superhuman commented as they finally took their positions on the dance floor.

Kirk smirked and rested one of his hands in Khan's and the other one on his shoulder, chuckling as he felt one of the other's fingers close around his while his other hand came to rest on his waist.

Settling into the rhythm of the music, the two of them made their way around the floor, keeping beat with each other and never once putting a foot out of place. Neither of them noticed that the floor had begun to thin in the wake of two apparently quite skilled dancers, namely Kirk and Khan.

Twirling him under his arm, Khan allowed himself a smile as he watched with amusement as Kirk appeared to take on the female part of the dance without complaint and he briefly considered whether Kirk was dominant of submissive in bed.

Wiping the thoughts aside, he pulled him in close again and bent him backwards; sweeping them around and changing direction again as they music began to reach its climax. Eyes twinkling in amusement, Khan lifted him and spun him a second time and leaned in as the music reached its peak, brushing his lips over Kirk's, enjoying the way the blonds' eyes widened slightly.

He pulled back and spun himself outwards until they were only joined by their touching hands, stopping his movement at the exact moment the music ended. Khan glanced around as he heard an outbreak of applause and paused as he realised the majority of the guests had been watching them.

Chuckling inwardly, he looked at Kirk, who was staring at him with a expression of confusion, surprise and lust rolled into one.

"Captain." Spock said suddenly from beside them both.

"Oh for the love of all things..." Kirk dropped his head into his palm.

"Ah, it would appear my plan didn't quite work... I guess my luck isn't as good as yours James." Khan's lips twitched towards a smirk which he quickly hid as he was given two death glares.

"I think we need to talk Captain." The Vulcan insisted, his eyes barely betraying the sense of concern he felt for the safety of his friend and Captain.

"Yes Spock... I had a feeling you might say that..." the blond sighed heavily and shook his head as he followed Spock away from the dance platform, shadowed by Khan.

Kirk glanced at the dark haired man beside him, his cheeks burning on the inside as constantly replayed the best kiss he had never had.


	5. Chapter 5

**So, because of the wonderful reviews I was able to slam up another chapter super fast! Thank you to everyone who reviewed. In this chapter our villain is revealed (yes there is a villain, he's just taken a while to arrive!) please enjoy and review!**

**Chapter Five: To Leap Without Looking:**

Kirk sighed as they came to a stop in the lobby and reached up, removing his mask from his face before he looked at Spock with a quirked eyebrow, "So, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes." the Vulcan hesitated as he glanced at Khan who was still wearing his mask to conceal his appearance from the few passing officers.

"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him." Jim stated as he realised what the problem was.

Spock hesitated again before he gave up and looked at his Captain, "I have always been honest and told you when I believed you were making a mistake-"

"Yeah you never let me hear the end of it either..." he grumbled.

"And I have to say, your desire to 'pal' around with Khan Noonien Singh perplexes me as much as it concerns me... You of all people should understand how dangerous he is and you should understand that he could turn on you at any moment he so chooses. You are in danger every moment you spend with him and every moment you allow him to go free."

Rolling his eyes, Jim sighed heavily, "It is the nature of all sentient creatures, human, Vulcan, Romulan... Even the most instinctual animals to turn on a person if they find them threatening or inconvenient; you cannot simply pin that characteristic to Khan alone."

"And yet this characteristic is of greater significance in him because he has proven to be unreliable and wild in the past."

"Yes... _In the past_, Spock, he was in that hospital for longer than I was with just two security officers to guard him. He could have broken out of there at any time! But he chose not to! He chose to stick around and behave!" he protested.

"He has an alternative motive... He always does! He assisted you in the past to ensure that he got what he wanted. Captain, if you trust him it will get you killed! I am not willing to stand by and watch that happened _again_." Spock almost growled, his usual impasse character flying out of the window as his Captain continued to show a complete disregard for his own safety, or the safety of others.

Kirk turned his back on the Vulcan and let out a long breath of frustration, talking to Spock about these things always felt like he was hitting a wall with a plastic hammer - no matter what he says, it just bounces off.

"Commander Spock," Khan said suddenly, taking both men by surprise, "I am not one to allow arguments to incur on my behalf, so allow me to say something in my own defence, rather than you metaphorically beating your Captain over the head with your 'supposed' logic."

Bristling slightly, Jim turned around, "Don't bother Khan, if he doesn't want to hear what you have to say it will go in one ear and out of the other."

"No, James, I'm not going to stand here and watch the pair of your ripping shreds out of each other when I am the topic of interest and am stood right here." The dark haired male offered him a crooked smile before he turned to look at Spock, "Will you listen to what I have to say, Commander?"

"I'll listen, whether or not I change my mind is another matter entirely." The Vulcan responded.

Khan nodded once and clasped his hands behind his back, closing his eyes behind his mask as he considered his words, "I am not going to lie, I still have a desire to kill every last member of Starfleet for what they did to me and my crew. But I am not going to do that, because I owe James more than to betray his trust for a second time."

"You have no loyalty to him, what has he done for you that would stop you killing him if he said the wrong thing? Did the wrong thing?" Spock asked, mimicking Khan's stance.

"Even after everything I have done, he refused to treat me like a monster." He stated simply, glancing at the blond, "It would have been so easy for him to hate me, to want to kill me... I killed the man he considered a father figure but he doesn't hate me for it. In fact he goes as far as to proclaim to understand me and what I did, my reasons behind it at least."

"The Captain is a good man, but he can also be an idiot at the best of times."

"I'm stood _right here_ Spock." Kirk grumbled.

"I disagree." Khan shrugged slightly, "The way he acts is instinctual at best, and instincts are never stupid... They keep you on your toes, keep you fresh and alert. And considering how many lives he saved on the Enterprise with his instinctual reaction... I think you are being far too harsh by saying that he is stupid. I've seen his aptitude tests, they rival _mine_."

"I'm not arguing that he has proven to be an exceptional Captain, however his decisions are arguable to the extreme."

"Guys!" Jim exclaimed suddenly, "For God's sake just stop it! I don't need this tonight."

Spock and Khan both watched in confusion and surprise as the blond put his mask back on the stomped back in the direction of the party, apparently determined to rejoin it and try to salvage something of the evening.

"What is so bad about tonight?" Khan asked in confusion, "That's the second time he's mentioned not needing stress tonight."

"Oh..." Spock suddenly sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I have completely forgotten about that."

"What?" The superhuman said impatiently.

"Today is the-"

Spock was cut off as an alarm blared over head, showering them in scarlet lights; both men shared a glance before they ran into the conference hall where the music had been stopped and the attending officers were shedding their costumes so that they were ready for action. It appeared everyone had had the thought of mind to wear their off duty uniforms underneath their costumes.

The two pair made their way through the crowd, finding the blond haired Captain propping up the bar. Jim was mid-way through removing his outfit when he saw them both and groaned.

"Oh God leave me alone..." he muttered.

"Captain, what's going on? What is the alarm for?" Spock asked instantly, reaching out and helping him escape from the final layers of his pirate outfit.

"No idea... No one else seems to have a clue either..." Jim answered, glancing and Khan before he swore, "We need to hide you. You can't take your costume off. Get under the table until we work out what's going on."

The dark haired man opened his mouth to object but decided against it and got under the table, removing his mask and hat before he set about working open the large buckles of his outfit. He couldn't deny that he would be glad to be rid of the blasted thing.

Spock and Kirk looked around suddenly as the over head projector whirred into life and shone a recording on the wall. Narrowing his eyes, Jim moved forwards through the crowd, feeling Spock at his side.

A man with greying hair and severe burn scars on his face appeared in the recording; he sat forwards slowly and looked down the camera with narrowed blue eyes, "At 1500 hours today, a bomb was placed in the engineering bay of Starfleet HQ; it is set to detonate approximately an hour after you receive this message. The power will be cut when this message self destructs, you have sixty minutes, Starfleet."

When the recording shut off and the projector exploded over head, the lights went out and left them all shrouded in darkness. Kirk could only just make out the sharp nose of his First Officer beside him.

"Well, we just aren't short of people wanting to kill us all are we?" the blond muttered, "Come on, we need to find Khan. Now that the lights are out people won't be able to recognise him."

The pair stumbled their way through the dark and the gathered people back towards the bar where they had left Khan. Jim leaned down and pulled at the table cloth, "Khan?"

"Yes?"

"It's safe to come out now..."

The superhuman cleared his throat, "I'm behind you."

Kirk spun around and peered at him, "Ah so you are." He realised, "Did you hear the message?"

"I did, though it appears the majority of your superiors are too started to do anything about it."

The Captain sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead, "Bunch of old timers."

"No, James, look." He turned the blond around and made him look at one of the officers, "Their all unconscious."

"I can't see that well Khan, we don't all have super sight... But how are they unconscious?" he asked.

"An airborne sedative was released from the projector at the same time the lights when out." Spock murmured.

"Then why weren't we affected?" he asked.

"It is possible the assailant didn't know that there was a Vulcan present, we can resist some sedatives, Khan is a superior species of human origin and can most likely decompose sedation drugs in his system a lot faster than average humans; and you are still in flux at the moment so your system probably did the same thing."

Kirk sighed heavily, "Right, so we are the only people in the building capable of stopping that bomb. Brilliant; how do I get myself into these situations?"

A few moments later, the trio were poring over a map of the building with a luminous orb providing some lighting for them; Jim ran a hand through his hair after a moment and sighed.

"If the electricity is out then the usual route we would take to the engineering bay is void, as far as I know there are two sub routes used for fire escapes; one of them is here and the other is here. We also have the option of climbing up through the elevator shaft." The blond said, pointing out each route on the map as he suggested them.

"How large is the bay we need to search?" Khan asked quietly.

"Oh... Well you've been on the Enterprise, so try to picture two engineering decks, and stick them together. It's a very big bay." The Captain offered, "So we need a quick route which will give us time to reach the bay and disable the bomb after we've found it."

"This one seems like a reasonable option, Captain." Spock said as he followed the trail of one of the fire escapes with his finger, "It is shorter than the others and takes a more direct path."

"Alright, we'll take that one then. The entrance is in the lobby."

Grabbing the map and folding it up for later use, Kirk lead the way out of the conference room, back out into the darkened lobby before he walked swiftly towards one of the large metallic silver hatches in the wall. Hooking his fingers under the release lever, he let out a grunt and shoved it open.

He let out a gasp of surprise as a body tumbled out through the open hatch and landed at his feet and he faltered slightly as he saw phaser burns on the woman's abdomen.

"Someone is guarding the upper levels..." he murmured, checking the woman's pulse and sighing as he found her skin to be cold to the touch, "She's been stuck in there for at least a few hours."

"Dead?" Spock asked.

"Very much so." Jim hesitated for a moment before he reached around and pulled his phaser from its holster and set it to stun, "We need to be ready for anything... I know it isn't the best idea but I think we should split up, take a route each, and meet up at the bay. At least that way if one of us were to get taken out someone else would still be able to reach the bomb in time."

"That is a risky strategy Captain, I would not consider it a wise option if I-"

"Agreed." Khan said over the top of the Vulcan, "I'll take the other fire escape. Good luck."

"Same to you." Jim nodded, throwing Khan and Spock one of the balls which would glow when hit, before he took off up the fire escape before Spock to say anything.

The Vulcan stared at the empty spaces where his Captain and Khan had just been stood with an expression half way between disbelief and utter fury. He was going to be having words with both of them when they got out of this.

Jim sighed inwardly as he juggled is light source with climbing the ladder which ran up the inside of the fire escape hatch, and he was holding his phaser between his teeth.

Thinking back to the message which had played in the conference room, he frowned inwardly - the terrorist seemed familiar to him for some reason; though he couldn't quite put his finger on the reason he couldn't quite cast it aside.

Shaking his head and looking up towards where he was heading, he blinked once and swore as he saw about four feet of the ladder had been sabotaged, most likely by the falling corpse of the woman who had dropped out. The section of ladder was missing completely, like it had been ripped out, and the ends were jagged and sharp.

Muttering under his breath, he reached the end of his section of ladder and began preparing himself to jump the gap between the two pieces and continue his ascension.

Gritting his teeth and steeling his nerve in case he was about to face a very long and painful fall back to the bottom of the hatch, he pushed off; snagging the inside of his thigh on one of the spiky pieces of metal as he went. He let out a groan as he felt blood running down his leg from the wound, he reached up and grabbed the next part of ladder; he silenced a cry as he stabbed his hand on several shards of sharp metal.

Taking a few panting breaths to steady his nerve, he reached up again, pushing his feet against the wall where the section of ladder was missing from to help him climb up.

Once all hands and feet were on stable ladder pieces again he took off up the tube again, he felt the air pressure change mid-way up and knew he was reaching the top. This was good in his opinion, because his arms and legs were beginning to burn with exertion.

Kirk glanced up again and saw the exit hatch was in sight; taking his phaser out of him mouth and licking his lips, he scrambled the final few steps and pushed the hatch open with his shoulder, he licking his lips again and swallowed before he climbed out and looked around, searching for potential enemies.

When he found that the hallway he had come out in was empty, he relaxed only very slightly, his muscles remained taut and ready for action and he was glad he hadn't had chance to consume too many drinks at the party, at least his mind was clear and his reflexes at maximum.

Glancing left and right one more time he ran to the left, following the directions to the engineering bay; that was when he ran straight into someone's body and fell back, hitting the floor before he fired his phaser and landed the shot in the person's chest, only to receive one in return.

His muscles spasmed and made him shudder repeatedly, but aside from that rather unpleasant sensation nothing else happened; blinking through the bleariness caused by the spasm he found himself looking up at Khan, who was still on his feet and apparently suffering the same muscular seizure as he was.

"What the HELL was that?" he demanded as the tremors slowed and allowed him to speak.

"I apologise, I thought you were the enemy," Khan responded after a moment, reaching down and helping him to his feet, "And that is what happens when someone shoots me with a phaser set to stun." He added.

Kirk shook his head to clear the remnants of his vision and blinked off the remainder of the peculiar sensation, "Why didn't we get knocked out?"

"James..." the dark haired male sighed heavily, the glow given off by their light sources showed a slightly exasperated expression on his face.

"Ohhh," the blond chuckled, "The DNA."

"Exactly." He stated before looking around, "Aside from a few moments of rather uncomfortable paroxysms it is rather difficult to shoot us unconscious."

"Great. I suppose that is meant to be an advantage." He laughed.

"Apparently so." Khan shrugged before looking around.

"Hang on... Why was your phaser set to stun?" Jim asked suddenly, "When we went aboard the Vengeance you acted like stunning your enemy was weakness..."

The dark haired male looked back at him, "It was at that time because I wanted Marcus dead not stunned. But in this scenario we may require assistance in locating the actual culprit of this attack and who better to ask? His henchmen."

"Fair enough. I just wondered."

They were interrupted as the wall beside them split open to reveal the inside of the elevator shaft, the pair hurried over and helped hold the doors apart so that Spock could climb up and out. When the Vulcan had gotten to his feet again, they let the doors slide shut and shared a glanced before they all headed off in the same direction.

"Should we not have encountered someone?" Spock asked as they jogged down the corridors, "If that woman was killed just a few hours ago..."

"It is a possibility that the culprit is down stairs unconscious." Jim murmured, "It is unlikely but we have to consider that as a possibility. Or it could be that whoever shot her is hiding up here. After all, this floor is huge, plenty of hiding places."

"That is also possible." The Vulcan agreed, "A logical deduction of the known facts."

"Glad you agree." Kirk said under his breath, he saw Khan smirk and realised the man had heard him.

The engineering bay was constructed in a colossal circular shape, three times the size of the Coliseum and twice the size of the Enterprise's engineering deck, machines controlling the building's mechanical doings went around the room in layers of circles which grew smaller the further in you went and in the very centre of the room was a hole which dropped into practical nothingness; shaped like the Starfleet insignia the floor rose upwards as it grew closer to the void.

The room was also powered by separate generators to the rest of the building so the lights were fully operation and they were able to see properly, which somewhat helped their cause.

It was the vicinity of the insignia shaped abyss that Jim found the bomb, hovering about ten-eleven foot above the hole in the floor surrounded by a gravity resistant barrier, cursing softly under his breath, the blond looked around for his two companions, "I've found it!" he called as he found he couldn't see them.

He frowned slightly as he received no answer from either of them and scanned the room again, shaking his head at their lack of punctuality he looked back at the bomb, already planning how they could reach it; checking his watch to see how much time they had left another curse escaped him as he saw they has little more that fifteen minutes to get and deactivate the explosives.

"Don't move!" a voice yelled from behind him and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, "Turn around slowly and set your phaser on the floor, _Captain_ Kirk."

Gritting his teeth, Jim slowly turned on the spot again, his eyes narrowing as he saw two men; one was holding Khan with a phaser pressed against the side of his head and the other was holding Spock in the same manner. He had to ask himself how these men had managed to get the drop on his companions but simply rolled his eyes.

"I expected better of you two." He said with a scowl as he leaned down and placed his phaser on the ground before he stood back up and held his hands up in surrender.

"Kick the phaser away from you." The same man spoke gruffly, not relaxing until he had done so, which was his big mistake.

Khan snapped his head back, breaking his captive's nose before he ducked under his arm, grabbing his phaser off him and shooting his accomplice in the ribs before he dragged his arm down, dislocating his elbow before he snapped the bone in his nose up into his brain, killing him instantly.

Kirk raised an eyebrow at him and picked his phaser back up off the floor, "See, I knew there was a reason for why I was keeping you sweet." He smirked.

"You assume that you have been succeeding." The dark haired male responded with a wink as he threw his phaser back to Spock, "You said you had found the bomb, is that it?"

Jim sighed and gazed at the explosive, "Yeah that is it, we've got... Shoot, we've only got ten minutes. We _need_ to hurry."

Spock drew closer and looked at the barrier, "It would appear that it can be penetrated without difficulty however the real issue is how to reach the explosive."

"Spock we don't have time to plan this out logically you know." The blond reminded him as he searched the room for something that might help them.

"It would be foolish to run in without having any idea of what to do whatsoever, Captain." The Vulcan argued.

"I'm not arguing about this again." He said as he rubbed his forehead, feeling the start of a migraine coming on.

The blond sighed heavily and shook his head to focus himself before he walked up to one of the raised edges of the insignia in the floor; he peered over the edge at the chasm of dark and threatening abyss below.

"I can make it." He stated as he turned away and walked away from the insignia and the chasm and the bomb.

"Make what?!" Spock and Khan asked at the same time, sharing a look which stated 'murderous intent' before looking back the other man.

"What I was a kid and growing up in Iowa, there was this huge chasm in the desert, me and a couple of mates used to hang out around there... And one day we decided to see who could jump the gap. Course, they were too chicken to actually go through with it but me? Oh no, I'm not a chicken. I jumped it and I made it." He told them, not meeting their gaze as he turned and took a breath.

"Wait, James, don't tell me you are thinking of-" Khan broke off as he watched Jim suddenly sprint towards the chasm.

Swearing loudly, both Khan and Spock dived forwards to try and grab the apparent mad man, both missing and hitting the floor in time to turn and watched as the Captain took a huge run and jump, with his eyes _closed_. Their hearts were in their mouths as he made the leap without looking, his hands flying out and wrapping around the bomb, snatching it out of the barrier as he began his descent towards the other side of the insignia.

Jim grunted as he hit the side of the wall, throwing the bomb up over the side as he clung on with one hand, glancing down towards the darkness before a hand wrapped around his wrist and began pulling him up. Panting slightly, he reached up with his other hand which was quickly taken by Spock and together Khan and the Vulcan pulled the blond back up onto safe ground.

The three of them sat for a moment, taking in what had just happened before Kirk laughed at their expressions and moved over to the discarded bomb.

"Alright, looks like we need a code to stop the countdown, this thing is pretty solid and the wires are all hidden inside this casing. We're going to need to crack the code and... And..." he trailed off as he looked at the bomb properly, his mind going into overdrive as he examined it more closely.

"What's wrong Captain?" Spock asked as he moved closer.

Frowning, the blond turned the device over in his hands, freezing as he saw the plaque on the underside, "That's not possible..."

"What isn't possible?" Khan asked as he joined them.

"The material that the bomb is made out of and the plaque underneath it are from the USS Kelvin." He stated calmly.

"That is _not_ possible." Spock reiterated, "The USS Kelvin was destroyed by Nero... Captain I think you must be mistaken, perhaps emotionally compromised by the date?"

"_Spock_." He growled, looking at the Vulcan and shoving the bomb into his hands before he stood up and turned his back on his friend and folded his arms.

Khan watched the exchange curiously before he walked over to the blond and took his hands firmly, "Whose blood is this?" he asked as he inspected the drying scarlet on his palms.

"Mine, I cut them in the fire escape, part of the ladder had been ripped out. I cut my thigh as well." He sighed.

"Are you sure?" the other asked with a small frown.

"Of course, why? Do you doubt me as well?" he snapped.

Blinking slightly, Khan fixed the blond with a sharp gaze that made him what to shrivel up, "I do not doubt you James, but you don't have a scratch on you."

Jim looked down at his hands slowly ad frowned faintly as he saw the gouge marks made by the sharp metal of the ladder were indeed gone, pulling his hands free he leaned down and inspected his leg through the tear mark in his trousers, "Thigh one is gone as well." He murmured.

"The blood..." Khan breathed, "I fear Doctor McCoy was incorrect in his initial diagnosis. Your ability to heal and dissolve airborne sedatives is far too advanced for a mere backlash of my DNA... When this is over we should take you back to the hospital, I know you said you were going insane in that room on your own but I..." he broke off suddenly and his back seemed to stiffen.

"You'll what?" the Captain prompted quietly.

"I will... Remain with you if you want the company." He said awkwardly as he looked away.

Kirk smiled faintly before he hid it and cleared his throat, "That would be good, it would certainly save me the trouble of having to break out to visit you after all."

Spock glanced over at the pair and frowned inwardly, they were far too friendly for his liking, he would have to discuss his concerns with the good Doctor, as well as Mister Scott and maybe even Nyota... He didn't want his Captain in danger.

"I... Confess that this does appear to be made of the wreckage of the Kelvin, as unlikely and improbably as that seems." The Vulcan said loudly enough to interrupt the pair before he walked over to them, "But there are no clues as to what the code might be to stop the countdown. And we have less than three minutes left."

Kirk took the bomb from him and looked it over again, looking for a sign of anything his friend might have missed; he paused for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose before he took a breath and a gamble, "Alright, the code we need is a six digit one, which rules out the more unscrupulous we could come up with in the next three minutes... So, considering the stardate in which the Kelvin was destroyed and the date today... I'm taking a gamble here."

He took another breath before he typed in six numbers '2233.04' and he peeked through one eye to see if it worked or not. Where there was a series of loud beeps followed by silence, Kirk opened both eyes again and let out a long sigh of relief.

"So, our terrorist is celebrating an anniversary is he? Brilliant." He muttered and tucked the disabled bomb under his arm, "Nothing like a lunatic with a passion for the theatrical. No offence Khan."

"None taken James." The other responded with a quirked eyebrow, "What do you mean about anniversaries though?"

"Today is the anniversary of the destruction of the USS Kelvin," he told him as he started walking towards the exit, "In other words, it's my bloody birthday."


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter really didn't turn out how I expected! I was planning for a little hospital scene followed by a skip to the next day and a meeting with Starfleet to say thanks a bunch for saving our asses... But ask you can see... It ****_really_**** didn't turn out that way XD Enjoy!**

**Chapter Six: The Impossible Becomes Possible:**

Jim cursed Khan and Spock to whatever God was listening as he sat in his hospital bed, again having gone through a series of tests and examinations which left him sore and in a foul mood. His two most hated people were sat in the room with him to make sure he didn't get lonely, and didn't make a break for it.

Despite having said several times that his Commander should head home to get some rest, Spock seemed unwilling to leave him alone with Khan for any length of time, point black refusing to go and get them some cups of tea because it would take him out of the room for more than a few minutes. It was driving Kirk insane.

He looked up from inspecting his hand as the door opened and McCoy entered the room, his third most hated person at the moment, the Doctor was looking pale and somewhat more than confused with a healthy dose of concern.

"So, what doom and gloom have you come to deliver this time, Bones?" Kirk asked sarcastically, "You look like you've se a ghost."

"This is no time for fooling around Jim!" the Doctor half barked at him.

"What appears to be the problem, Doctor McCoy?" Spock asked from his silent vigil by his friend and Captain's bed side.

"The first set of tests I did proved difficult to understand because they were different from Jim's usual results and different from Khan's as well... But these second sets are very conclusive. They... Match Khan's results in very way almost." The man answered as he checked them over again on his PADD.

"What do you mean 'match'?" Khan asked, a small frown forming on his face.

Bones sighed heavily, "I mean... The DNA from your blood that we gave Jim proved to be too strong. It didn't just heal his irradiated cells it has started to heal the rest of them too; it is _correcting_ his cells and his DNA to match with yours."

"What?" Kirk asked, "How is that possible?"

"I have no idea, and I certainly didn't expect this to happen." The Doctor responded with a small shrug.

"What is the end result?" the Vulcan asked.

"..." Bones hesitated for a moment before he ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Jim is becoming like Khan; he will be stronger; smarter and 'better' in every way. Some people might not see that as a bad thing but, that depends on your stance. We have no idea if Jim's body can cope with the change; we already know he has experienced severe pain while his bones altered. So either Jim will become a 'superhuman' or he will die."

James T Kirk was rarely stunned into silence, but on this occasion he thought it was well deserved. He glanced at Khan and saw that the man was looking at him as well; he briefly wondered if they were thinking the same thing before he was shaking from his silence by Spock.

"Is there a way to reverse it?"

"Not without bringing the radiation back into his body and killing him... I'll have to keep searching but at the moment it doesn't look likely. I'm sorry Jim... If I had known that this would happen then-"

"I would have wanted you to do it anyway, Bones, don't start blaming yourself." The blond muttered, "I would be dead if you hadn't replaced my blood, even if this transformation kills me... At least I got a few more months. I'm not scared. If it is my time to go then I'll face it, like I did before."

Spock glanced at the Captain, the moments before his death were still vivid in his mind; he could remember every word Jim had spoken... He knew he was bluffing and he knew he was doing it to stop the Doctor feeling guilty. Jim was scared for death, but he was more afraid of dying without living up to his father's name. If he died without saving eight hundred lives or more he would never rest peacefully. But he wasn't going to bring that up, not now anyway, maybe in a couple of days.

"Well! It isn't every day you get told you'll either ascend to be awesome or die... Stop looking so miserable everyone, you'll ruin my day." Kirk said, clapping his hands together, "Bones, can I go home now you know what is wrong?"

"I would recommend keeping you in, my knowing you you will simply ignore it."

"Yep." The blond nodded.

Bones sighed, "Alright, you can go back to your apartment so long as someone stays with you."

Jim saw Spock open his mouth to speak, but he was quicker, "Khan has no where to stay anyway so he can stay with me for now." He said, looking at his fingers so he didn't have to see their reactions.

Khan stood up, "I wouldn't wish to impose James."

"You wouldn't be; it is a very big apartment. And it seems you would be doing me a favour at the same time." He murmured swiftly.

"I... Have no real options. Thank you."

"Captain I must protest..." Spock announced.

"I knew you were going to say that," Jim muttered so only Khan could hear him, "Spock, it is logical. I can have someone stay with me and at the same time Khan isn't out on the street causing mischief."

"Mischief?" the superhuman repeated with a quirked eyebrow.

The Vulcan was less than impressed but knew his Captain wouldn't be persuaded, "Very well... I will file my report to Starfleet in the morning that you are still fit to work. With any luck we will be allowed to return to the Enterprise within a couple of weeks."

"Thanks Spock, I appreciate it." He nodded and watched the Vulcan leave the room.

Bones stared at Jim and Khan for the best part of five minutes before he simply sighed and walked out, shutting the door behind him and stalking off to deal with some other patients.

Once alone, Jim climbed out of the bed and searched for his clothes; he turned his back on Khan and stripped off shamelessly, hearing the other's breath hitch a smirk formed on his lips before he made a bit of a parade of getting dressed, determined to pay him back in full for that almost kiss.

When he had finally finished he turned around to face the man, only to find that he was right behind him; he was slammed up against the wall by Khan's strongly muscled body. He looked up into his ice blue eyes and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You have no shame do you?" Khan growled, pressing the full length of his body against the other's one of his arms pressed against the wall as he brushed his nose against Kirks.

"Why should I? Shame slows you down, shame makes you hesitate... I can't afford for either of those things." Jim answered with a smirk, "Why? Does my lack of shame concern you?"

"Concern me? Not at all... But it does make me hunger for you." He half purred, their eyes glued together, "Even more so after having seen you in action. The risks you take to save the lives of the people around you... You pretend to be some bad boy but at heart you are nobler than anyone else."

"I don't think we are talking about the same people here Khan, I would hate to disappoint you." He chuckled, "I could never be noble. Being noble means you need to have shown qualities of high moral character, such as courage or generosity or honour."

"And you don't think you've done that? You jumped across a chasm which you could easily have tumbled down in order to reach and deactivate a bomb which could destroy the Starfleet Head Quarters... And that wasn't noble?" The dark haired male smirked at him, "You liar."

Jim tore his eyes away for a moment and looked over his shoulder at the wall before he looked back at him again, "I'm not noble Khan. I'm selfish; compulsive; obscene; egotistical and I am possessive. I don't easily let go of the things I think of as my possessions."

"Then we are more alike than I previously thought." He told him calmly, leaning in and brushing their lips again, "If I can help you through this transformation and you become like me, the others will never think of you in the same way again. You will no longer be like any of them. You will be better, faster, stronger, braver, smarter, and your stamina will increase. You'll need someone by your side who can keep up with you. Keep you in line. Stop you from loosing yourself."

"They would be harbouring a snake in their midst. I don't think anything could stop me turning on them when they were least expecting it if it was what I wanted to do." Kirk breathed, looking at him with an expression mixed between desire and concern, "I don't think even _you_ would be able to stop me."

Khan looked down for a moment, "You stopped me when I was at the very brink of self destruction James."

"It wasn't me who stopped you, it was Spock and Uhura." He countered a little sharply.

"They never told you what happened on the roof of that garbage disposal van did they? They hid it from you, I'm not surprised... I don't blame them," he closed his eyes before he opened them and focused on the other's face bringing them closer together again, "Uhura stunned me so many times with the phaser that she was able to put me down, but I was still conscious and I heard what was being said. When Uhura said I was the only chance they had to save you... I felt panic unlike anything I had ever experienced before in my life."

"What do you mean?"

"I could barely talk but I forced myself to... I told them to take me back to the Enterprise... I told them that I didn't care if I was imprisoned, they had to do whatever they had to do to save you." He let out a steady breath, "They didn't believe me to start with, why would they? I betrayed you all without a second thought. But they took me anyway and they used my blood to save you... _You_ stopped me James. _You_ made me stop. I can do the same for you. _Trust me_ James... _Trust me_..."

"I..." he looked at him and felt his heart thundering in his chest, gritting his teeth as he fought an emotionally fuelled battle.

"Trust me James; trust that I can protect you from yourself."

Khan's breath was warm against his face; his scent was winding around him and dazing him; their eyes met and he felt as though his decision had been made for him already.

"I trust you." He said quietly, "I trust you, Khan."

"Good..." he whispered, "Good."

Khan leaned in suddenly and claimed his mouth, pressing him harder against the wall as he plundered his mouth forcefully, his free hand fisting a handful of his black shirt as he held him against him. Desire and longing bursting free from the first contact they shared.

Jim let out a moan into his mouth, feeling like he was turning to jelly under his scrutiny; his arms flew up and he threw them around him, pulling him closer and closer until there was physically no room between them anymore. He pushed him back and turned them, shoving him into the wall as he swapped their positions, demanding his mouth again.

He pulled back suddenly as he heard someone walk past, his eyes darkened with desire as he glanced back at Khan, his cheeks flushed slightly and he cleared his throat, licking his kiss-bruised lips.

They shared a heated look before Khan moved away from the wall and approached him; reaching out and touched the blonds' face, "You have seen the things I have done, you saw what I did to Marcus, what I am capable. You've seen what I am. Just standing with me puts you at risk."

"It's too late to care about that. Your blood is coursing through my vein; we are already closer than other people. It is too late to try warning me off. I could spout a load of things off that could put you off but I don't think you would listen any more than I have listened to you. I never blamed you for what you did Khan, Marcus deserved his fate several times over."

Khan looked at him for a moment and leaned in, kissing him again before he pulled back, "What I did wasn't justice, it was vengeance James. And it didn't solve anything it merely exacerbated it and brought it to the forefront of everyone's minds."

"But now that it is in their minds they can't hide it, no one can. The things you did have brought the corruption at the head of Starfleet to a head; no one can pretend it didn't happen. And now they have no choice but to sort things out. You did the _right_ thing; maybe you went too far I don't know... I believe I would have done something similar in your position."

They both fell silent and shared a long look, Jim searched Khan's face, and Khan searched Jim's face, searching for any sign of dishonesty or uncertainty; neither of them seemed to find what they were looking for and that led to a silent and unspoken agreement between them.

"Come on," Kirk said quietly, "Let's get out of this place."

The walk from the hospital to Jim's apartment was a good ten or so minutes, and they spent it in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence however, it was peaceful and calm in the wake of the fiery and heated passion they had only just experienced. It gave them both a chance to recover their composure and self-control.

Jim dug his hands in his trouser pockets as they came to a stop outside of his room; he thought for a moment before he tapped in the six digit key code and sighed as the door slid open and admitted them entrance to his house.

They headed inside and Kirk instantly headed into the kitchen, not bothering to see if Khan wanted anything he got two large mugs of tea and headed into the lounge, finding the dark haired man still stood just inside the doorway, looking awkward.

"Relax Khan, the couch won't eat you if you sit on it you know." He smirked as he flopped down on the couch and handed the other man one of the mugs.

"You're not very... Decorated." The dark haired one said as he glanced around and sat down beside him slowly, "Only a few photographs, the basic furniture. I guess this isn't much of a home to you is it?"

"Nah, the Enterprise and my Mom's flat back in Iowa are my real homes." He responded as he took a sip of the hot liquid.

"Your mother is still alive then?"

"Yeah, she is even stronger than I am; it would take a lot to put her down," he chuckled, "Though I can never forgive her for remarrying so soon after my... Dad died. I guess she needed a way to support herself and me though." He shrugged.

"You speak of her with respect... I cannot remember my own mother; so many years have passed..." Khan sighed and shrugged, "If I can't remember then perhaps she wasn't worth recollection."

Kirk looked at him, "My Mom was all I had... I didn't get on very well with my step-dad, I didn't get on too well with the kids he already had either. I was a bit of a handful even back then... Heh, stole his antique car once and drove it off the end of a cliff. He wasn't too happy when he bailed me out of jail. I was... Nine I think." He laughed, "The look on his face was priceless."

"You sound like a hell raiser."

"Oh you have no idea!" the blond laughed louder and ran a hand through his hair.

They fell silent for a moment and Khan found himself watching the others movements, ever little twitch or expression which passed over his face.

"So, it is your birthday today." Khan stated matter-of-factly.

Jim glanced at him with an arched eyebrow, "Yes..." he said uncertainly.

"Do you not celebrate it at all?"

"No."

"Why not?" he probed, sipping his tea politely; not wanting to mention it tasted like a sewer.

The blond sighed and sat forward, "My birthday has _never_ been a day of joy. The day of my birth... My father sacrificed himself and saved eight hundred lives and blah blah blah, and every year after that all my birthday signified was the death of a great man. My Mom went to pot every year, crying and staring at me, I could see it in her eyes- she wanted her husband back and she resented the fact that I looked so much like him. Because I do, I look like his bloody double and it tore her apart."

"So you came to hate your birthday because it was never a day of celebration... It was a day of mourning instead?"

"Well... Would you want to celebrate your birthday if your father had died that day and you were the biggest reminder of it in your mother's eyes? I hate my birthday because I have no good memories of it. It was never a day to look forward to, and over time I just stopped thinking of it as an anniversary date and it began to be a normal day." He shrugged and gulped down another mouthful of tea.

"I think I can understand." He agreed as he took another sip, it still didn't taste any better.

Jim looked at him and quirked an eyebrow, "You... Surprise me. I still can't make Spock understand, but then again I am constantly fighting a losing battle with that one."

"He has your best interests at heart." He murmured, "I can see that, but at the same time he is incredibly stubborn."

"Yes... I do tend to feel like I am head butting a wall." He chuckled, "It is better than it was in the beginning though so that's something."

They shared a long look before Jim tore his eyes away and crossed his legs, "Are we going to toss over who gets the bed?" he asked.

Khan blinked twice, "I'm... Sorry, what?"

Jim stared for a moment before he started laughing, "Toss a _coin_! Toss a _coin_ you filthy bastard!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so again... This didn't end how I thought it was going to do XD Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy the story and uh... As a personal favour, please don't hunt me down and kill me after you've read the chapter! I have a plan! It is a very good and very strong plan! I swear! Haha...**

**Warning****: Enough sexual tension to make you bite your nails mixed with an unhealthy dose of carnage. You have been warned *wink***

**Chapter Seven: Deadly Paradox:**

When Jim woke from the best sleep he had had for a long while, he was facing the reason; in the end they had come to the conclusion that they could share the king sized bed and keep their hands to themselves.

Khan looked incredibly peaceful and so much gentler when in the depths of slumber; his practiced neutral expression was gone and replaced by a slightly slacker and more natural one; his eyelids fluttered randomly in the wake of the dreams he was having. His usually well maintained hair was tousled and ruffled by his restless shuffling during the night.

Slowly propping himself up on his elbow, Jim leaned forwards and skimmed the back of his fingers down the man's chiselled cheek; he froze as he saw Khan's eyes flutter before they opened slowly and he laughed quietly.

"Guess I couldn't keep my hands off you after all." He smirked before he moved to pull his hand back, pausing as his wrist was grabbed, and his hand held in place.

"I don't believe I said that I minded." The other murmured before he finally let go and sat up as well, "What have you got planned for today James?"

The blond opened his mouth to answer but was silenced as his communication device went off from its position on the bedside table; he rolled his eyes and turned over in the bed, picking it and answering the call, "Captain Kirk here." He said as he laid back down and ran a hand through his hair, "Oh, Spock... Yeah Khan's still here..." he pinched the bridge of his nose.

Khan watched in amusement as the blond spoke to his Commander, and decided that he would leave him to it; he climbed out of the bed paying Kirk back in kind for the teasing display in the hospital as he strode across the bedroom and into the bathroom in the nude; smirking widely as he heard Kirk's voice stutter slightly as he continued talking to Spock.

The dark haired male smirked to himself and chuckled under his breath as he shut the bathroom door behind him and glanced around, acquainting himself with his surroundings before he stepped into the shower and turned the water on, sighing contentedly as it began sluicing down his skin.

Bowing his head as his hair became drenched by the hot liquid, he allowed himself a moment to replay the things that had happened, he couldn't deny that when he had been woken from his cryogenic sleep for a second time he had initially been as infuriated as he had been the first time but he couldn't refute the fact that his temper had been tempered by the knowledge that he had been recalled to offer further assistance to the one purpose he had no qualms in assisting. James Tiberius Kirk.

He had sat in that hospital for days, restless yet unmoving, staring into all asunder as he waited for that moment when he would come face to face with that man. It was a long shot that he would even be permitted to see him, but he had sat in hope that he could even snatch a glance.

Opening his eyes, Khan shuddered as he remembered the tremulous flood of emotion which had cascaded over him upon seeing Kirk's face when the blond had snuck into his room in the hospital. His heart had jumped, his pulse sped up; his face had grown warm. And every moment since then he had felt increasingly strongly about the man, he just couldn't figure out if those feelings were positive or negative, though by his reaction towards him he was leaning towards '_positive but dangerous'_.

He couldn't control himself around James; the Starfleet Captain did something to his self-control which no one else had ever done before, he tore the barriers standing between them down and stepped over the threshold without being invited. James was infuriated and... He was infatuated by him. It was... Like a poison. But he was more than willing to consume it.

His eyes snapped towards the door as he heard it shut and they widened momentarily as he saw the man himself _prowling_ towards the shower, as naked as the day as he slid the shower door open and stepped inside. That was exactly what he had meant... James Kirk just invited himself and damn the consequences.

"You look surprised to see me," the blond smirked as he nudged him out of the way of the water and stepped under the waterfall himself, allowing it to drown him, "It is my shower you know."

"Yes... However I didn't anticipate that you would join me, are you feeling a little daring James?" he murmured as he looked at him with raised eyebrows.

Jim chuckled and picked up the shower gel, washing himself slowly, "Maybe I am, or maybe I just enjoy seeing you squirm."

"I'm hardly squirming."

"Oh I had noticed that, I can't be trying hard enough." The Captain turned to face him slowly; there was no hesitation in his eyes and no embarrassment.

This was a man who was unafraid of his body and knew what he wanted, Khan was impressed by that, but he was also taken aback. He was the one who was being left feeling like the skittish teenager.

"Ah, there we go, you're squirming. That wasn't so hard after all." The blond chuckled arrogantly and turned his back on him again as he washed the soap from his skin.

"You, James Kirk, are a demon." Khan breathed before he put his hands on the other's shoulders and manoeuvred there bodies so that he could step back under the water spray, "What did Mister Spock want from you?"

Jim sniggered at him and applied a healthy blob of shampoo to his hair, "Oh he was just reminding me that Starfleet Command want to see us... Today... In an hour."

"Wait... When you say 'us' I am assuming they only want you and Spock. Correct?"

"Wrong. You're invited as well." He sighed.

"Fantastic..." he muttered and finished his shower, stepping out and grabbing the first available towel, wrapping it around himself, "And you don't think it would be a bad idea for me to stay away?"

"Well, considering that this time you helped stop the HQ getting blown up, instead of actually trying to demolish it, they might be a bit nicer to you." Jim smirked as he stepped out after him and grabbing his own towel.

"Oh very funny," he sniped, "This is my life we are talking about, it isn't a joke! I only have to say the wrong thing or look at them wrong and I'll be back to sleep."

"I wouldn't let that happen to you again Khan..." the blond murmured as he left the bathroom to get dressed, "I'm not going to simply abandon you and let you be forced back into cryogenic sleep. I'm going to support you."

"What could you possibly do to change their minds?" he asked venomously as he stalked in after him and searched for his clothes.

"Well... Aside from stating quite clearly that you helped stop a bomb going off, you also saved me from that guy in the corridor and... Oh yes, I'll kick their asses if they try it." He said - his tone was deadly seriously.

"Why would you do that for me?"

Jim looked at him slowly as he adjusted his yellow jumper over his uniform and sighed, "Do we really have to go over this now? I would have thought that little episode at the hospital would have been enough to answer that question."

Khan frowned slightly and raised an eyebrow as he pulled on the black clothing he had arrived in, "You would protect me out of some feeling of kinship? Because you are turning into someone who is like me?"

"Oh for someone so smart you are incredibly thick, Khan." He muttered.

"Excuse me?"

Instead of answering, Jim turned on the spot and wound an arm around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss, penetrating his mouth with his tongue and probing his mouth lustfully, he gasped as he felt an arm around his middle pulling him in closer and holding him against the taut body of his house guest.

Feeling a hand cupping his cheek, Kirk pulled back by a hairs breadth, looking up into his azure eyes, his own darkened with desire, "Now do you get it? You idiot." He said breathlessly.

"I believe so, however I think it requires a little further investigation." The other answered, pulling him back in and kissing him again, turning them on the spot and slowly pressing him against the wall, he was gentler than he had been in the hospital, but he was still firmly in control of it.

Jim could only chuckle in response before he allowed his mouth to be claimed again and he leaned up into him, both arms entwining around his neck as he melted against him willing. Oh so willingly.

-/-

They had only been a few minutes late, but apparently the people at Starfleet Command liked complete punctuality. So of course, Kirk and Khan were slowly sliding into their bad books.

"How nice of you to join us, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, and... Khan Noonien Singh," one of them announced as the two men entered the room, "Please take a seat beside Commander Spock."

Jim glanced at Khan before he strode across the floor and shuffled into a seat next to his friend and First Officer; sharing a nod with the Vulcan and a small twitching smile with the superhuman, Jim then turned his attention to the gathered selection of superior officers.

"We've asked the three of you here today, to discuss the events of yesterday's terror threat at the heart of Starfleet," the same man as before spoke, "I have here a report from Commander Spock concerning what happened... I must say I am incredibly impressed by your ingenuity and control of a very tense situation. I would expect no less of a Starfleet Captain."

"Thank you sir." He said, "However I cannot take the credit for it in any way, I would not have succeeded if it hadn't been for the assistance of my First Officer and Khan here. It would have been impossible alone."

"Yes... On the subject of Khan, what was he doing out of the hospital where he had been confined to?" a female member of the board asked.

Kirk tensed momentarily before he cleared his throat, "I escorted him to the dinner party myself, he was under my protection and guidance, and there was never any danger from him. And I wouldn't have been able to stop the bomb without his presence."

"Invalid, he should not have been allowed out of the hospital room." She interrupted sharply.

"I can't take it back, ma'am, so I think it would be for the _best_ if you simply accept that this is what happened." Jim said in a slight growl, "He isn't a monster... He isn't an animal to be kept locked up. Yes he did bad things but we all know _why_ he did them, so don't even think of-"

"Enough!" the first man said loudly, "I am disinterested in Khan's presence, and as far as I am concerned he helped yesterday, that is enough for me to say he can have his own space."

Jim relaxed slightly and crossed one of his legs over the other, "So, what are we here to discuss?" he asked.

"In Commander Spock's report it states that the bomb had been created from wreckage of the USS Kelvin. Is this true?"

"I handled the device myself, sir, I can confirm that the bomb had been encased in wreckage from the Kelvin, and on top of that the identification plaque from the command room was stuck to the bomb as well." He said, running a hand through his hair.

He sighed heavily, "And the recording from the conference room?"

"A single man, he was alone and as far as I could tell he was without assistance. He was badly burned, I didn't know him. Nor did I recognise his voice." The blond answered.

"Very well..." he paused for a short while before speaking again, "We are looking into this terrorism attack, if you remember anything else then please do inform us straight away."

"What about the fact that the entire thing was dedicated to the anniversary of the Kelvin's destruction?" Kirk asked, "The code to disarm the bomb was the date of my birth, the same day that the Kelvin was destroyed. It could be a fanatic... Someone trying to prove a point perhaps..."

"We are looking into that line of enquiry." He confirmed, "If that is everything then all I have left to say is: thank you for your assistance, you took a great risk upon yourself to seek out that bomb."

"I was simply doing my duty," Kirk said as he stood up slowly, "Anyone would have done the same thing... What of the dead girl?"

"She was identified and her parents informed. As for the thug you found upstairs, he was question but died... He seemed to have some sort of implant in his brain which... Self destructed." The expression on his face made Kirk pause.

"This is more than a fanatic... This is someone who has taken care to plan this out thoroughly... We need to be careful." He murmured.

"I agree. You are dismissed."

"What of me?" Khan asked as he stood up, looking at the members of Starfleet Command fearlessly as he felt Kirk's fingers brush against his in passed.

"For now, Khan Noonien Singh, you have proved yourself to be more of an asset than a threat and should it remain that way... Well, let's just say you will be rewarded for it."

"I understand. My thanks." He said calmly before he followed after Jim and Spock, his mind reeling with the opportunity presented to him.

Jim was too busy concentrating to really pay much attention to what was going on around him; he heard Spock talking but he wasn't listening to the words being spoken; he felt Khan's hand on his lower back but he didn't realise how close they were.

They walked down the street towards his apartment again, when he was abruptly and without warning was brought out of his trance by a thunderous booming which sent a shockwave through the entire street where they were walking; his head snapped up and he was momentarily blinded by brilliant green light. And when his eyes focused again he watched with his mouth hanging open as his apartment block was speared through the centre by a beam of of green light.

His eyes widened as the green light thickened to engulf the entire block of flats before it exploded, shattering the building, and sending blocks of rubble flying in every direction.

The trio took cover from the falling debris and dust; Kirk glanced around and his eyes narrowed as he saw a car speeding away as fast as it possibly could; his instincts took over and he ran from cover, climbing on a parked motorbike before he hotwired the vehicle and twisted the handles, shooting off down the street after the car, not hearing the shouts from Khan or Spock.

He dodged the falling rubble as he sped down the road, his eyes firmly fixed on the car as his blood pumped faster and faster through his veins, a mixture of adrenaline and anger pounding through him as he chased the person he believed to be the culprit. He had no proof, he didn't even know if he was right... But his gut instinct had ever been wrong before.

Trailing the car right out of the city and along a completely deserted road, the buildings began to get less and less dense the further out they went and he rarely saw another vehicle.

Speeding up considerably, now that there was no danger to civilians, he began to really catch up to the fleeing car, there was scarcely room to fit another bike between the front wheel and the boot of the car, and he continued to lessen that gap.

He didn't expect was for the car to break suddenly.

The front wheel hit the boot and the entire bike went forward, flinging Jim from it and over the top of the car. He hardly had time to let out a cry before he hit the road in front of the car and skidded down it, rolling over several times before he slowly came to a stop, cuts to his knuckles and knees were welling with blood while a large gash on his forehead began pour profusely and quickly spread out across the tarmac where he had come to a halt.

He gasped weakly, feeling several broken bones as they started burning, he half expected them to heal as fast as they had when Khan had done it... But when they didn't he came to the conclusion that perhaps his newly discovered healing ability couldn't work as fast when there were multiple injuries.

Sickness washed over him as the full extent of his injuries came to the forefront of his mind and he let out a quiet cry of pain. He gagged as he was suddenly kicked onto his back and he stared with blurred vision at the person who had just gotten out of the car.

"I didn't expect you to follow me so hard; I almost thought I could lose you in the suburbs, but I guess you are too good for that Captain Kirk. Pity." The person had a familiar voice, but he couldn't quite figure out why, "You'll probably die from those injuries and with no one out here to help you... Well you were very foolish. You leapt without looking and now you're getting burned for it. Just like your father did."

"W-wha... Ack..." he tried to talk, but a dislocation to his jaw and the mass confusion he was experiencing hindered him, he could only watch with clouded vision as the person before him crouched down slowly and touched his face.

"Don't try to talk, boy, you'll only speed up the process." He murmured, there was something in his voice which seemed like affection, "I have to go now... I commend your ability, but in the end you weren't what I expected. I'm not sure whether I should be disappointed or not. No matter."

Jim gargled as blood filled his throat and he reached out, gripping the trouser leg of the stranger before his hand weakened and fell back to the tarmac and the person walked away. He spluttered and managed to turned his head to the blood dribbled out of his mouth, he coughed weakly and cried out loudly as pain blossomed over his chest before everything started to go dark and the last thing he remembered hearing was the sound of an explosion, and the feeling of heat very nearby, rippling over his skin but not close enough to burn him. And then he died.


	8. Chapter 8

**So... An overwhelming response to the last chapter, I can't say I'm surprised by the mixed responses it got *laughs* I hope you can stop biting your nails with this one. Thank you for your reviews, and please enjoy the chapter :)**

**Chapter Eight: I Do It Too:**

Khan hunched over suddenly, pressing a hand against his chest as his breath hitched; he felt Spock's hand on his back and was momentarily surprised the the gesture before he staggered and ended up leaning heavily against a nearby car as his ears started ringing and his head pounded.

"Khan?" the Vulcan asked, "What is it?"

"I... I don't..." he swallowed hard and balled a fist, trying to compartmentalise the feelings, "I think it's James."

Spock hesitated for a moment and looked around before he shoved his fist through the window of the car the other was leaning on, "Get in the other side, I shall... Drive."

"You know how to hotwire a car?" the superhuman asked, trying to find some way to gain control over what was happening to his body as he staggered and climbed in the car.

"The Captain's personality has a tendency to rub off on me... Do not tell him that however, it will merely inflate his already not inconsiderable ego." The other sighed as he got in the driver's seat and began fiddling with the wires he needed.

A few moments later they were following the same route they had watched Jim disappear down. Khan was still suffering a chronic pain in his chest and head, hunched over in the seat with a hand pressed against the dashboard. Spock was stunned at himself by how concerned he actually felt about the superhuman's sudden sickness. His Captain's personal feelings truly were rubbing off on him; he could easily see that they had a lot of positive feelings towards one and other despite the past.

It both confused and... _Pleased_ him. He had never seen his Captain respond to anyone like he responded to Khan, it was like he could completely understand him, and he was completely understood in return. He knew for certain that he couldn't understand either of them; they were both beyond his reach despite his inspirational mental capacity. Perhaps Khan could control the Captain a little more, rein him in so to speak.

Spock sighed to himself as headed out of the city, glancing around as they left civilisation behind, he glanced around as Khan made a slightly strained sound and saw that the man was staring with widened eyes out of the windscreen; he turned his own gaze that way and his own eyes grew larger as he saw a thick black plume of smoke up ahead.

Speeding up, he reached the scene not long after, bringing the stolen car to a stop before he climbed out, frowning as he saw Khan was already out, and running past the burning motorbike.

Khan lurched forwards, the pain in his head and chest increasing as he saw a crumpled body in the road, his mouth going dry as he lurched forwards and collapsed onto his knees, reaching out and cupping Jim's face, waiting for those sea blue eyes to open and that crooked grin to pull at his lips; he faltered when neither happened and he began to feel the coldness of his skin.

Swallowing hard, he pressed his index and middle finger into the side of his neck, searching for a pulse; he felt like his own heart had stopped when he couldn't find one.

"No..." he breathed, "No, no, no! You can't do this to me! Not now!" he exclaimed, pressing his hands against his chest and slamming them down to try and restart his heart, "James!"

"What..." Spock froze on the spot and flashes of the radiation chamber shot in front of his eyes, watching Kirk's hand slid down the glass after having made the traditional Vulcan hand sign, "... Jim?"

Khan felt his eyes sting, but he refused to allow his emotions to show on his face as he hammered his clasped hands onto his chest, sitting back slowly as nothing happened. He stared at his face, waiting and wishing that he would move... That he would do _anything_, _anything_ at all.

He squeezed his eyes shut against the torrent of rage which bubbled beneath his skin, the desire to kill someone burning like lava through him as his heart pumped painfully in his chest, feeling like it would explode for everything he was feeling, he bit down on his lip hard, feeling his teeth piercing the skin and drawing blood.

Spock knelt down beside him and reached out, stopping just short of his shoulder before he pulled his hand back again and hung his head, his shoulders slumping.

"How did this happen?" Khan breathed, "How... How did..." he balled a fist as his voice shook and he ran a hand through his hair, sleeking it back off his face again before he leaned over Kirk slowly and brought them nose to nose. He looked down at him with melancholy in his eyes before they slipped closed and he felt his shoulders slacken, pressing their lips together and caring very little about the Vulcan's presence or what he was seeing.

He kissed him softly, tenderly, truthfully; trying to sooth the anger in his heart which was weighing him down and was searing his soul; when he pulled back he felt a single tear run down his cheek, not at all dissimilar to the first time he had told Spock, Kirk and Bones about his crew. His feelings towards Jim had altered over time, but they were easily a rival to his feelings towards his crew. There was something about the blond, a bright light which drew him closer like a moth to a flame. Perhaps this was him getting burnt.

Khan leaned back on his heels and ran a hand down his face, wiping the tear away before he sucked in a breath and tore on his mask of indifference. He stood up and turned away from his body, it was too hard to look at him, crumpled and broken.

A raspy breath made him stop in his tracks, having only taken one step regardless, and he gradually looked back around at him; the sight of his chest rising and falling in the form of steady breaths.

"James?" he asked, falling back down onto his knees as he watched the blonds' eyes flicker and open, "Oh my God... James!" he touched his face, glancing at Spock who's emotionless facade had completely cracked for the time being.

"You yell really loud, you know that?" Jim groaned, his voice was nasally due to his broken bones, "Pike... Whistled really loud... You don't gimme a moment's peace... Any of you..."

Khan let out a shaky breath of relief, hardly able to believe what he was seeing, "Yeah well... You are really hard to wake up." He muttered indignantly.

Jim coughed hard, moaning out as his bones slowly began to pop back into place audibly, making Spock and Khan cringe; he rolled over onto his front, pressing a shaking hand against the tarmac and pushing himself up.

Khan and Spock watched slowly as the man who had been lying dead just moments earlier stood up, staggering slightly before regaining his footing. They shared a look before they also stood up.

"Do you... Feel okay?" Khan asked, reaching out and resting his hand on the other's back, "What do you remember?"

"I remember dying. Again." He muttered, rubbing the wet blood off his newly healed forehead, "I chased the guy who blew up my apartment... The car stopped suddenly and I was too close... The front wheel got caught on the boot and I flipped over..."

"Perhaps you should sit down, Captain." Spock said - his voice slightly edgy.

"No, I'm fine Spock," he waved off his concern and ran his fingers through his hair, wincing as he felt his ribs healing, "I was bleeding... And the guy got out of the car, he... He said something... I can't... No I can't remember what he said now... Maybe it will come back later on..."

"I thought you were dead," the dark haired superhuman breathed, stepping up in front of him and cupping his cheek, "I was ready to commit murder in your name."

Jim laughed weakly but stopped when he saw the sincerity in his eyes, "I'm okay Khan, I'm not going anywhere."

"You were dead." He stated simply.

"Yeah... Yeah I was." He frowned for a moment, "Funny how that happens." He smirked.

"How did you come back?" Spock asked.

Khan paused for a moment before he reached up and touched his own lips, "Blood... I bit my lip, drawing blood and then I kissed you... My blood must have kicked the DNA into action and started working its magic on you."

"I wondered why it hadn't worked straight away..." he murmured in confusion.

"You are still changing; it's possible that it was too much damage in one go. Once the change is complete you shouldn't have that problem, but... Never mind that... You're back and that is what matters." He swallowed as he looked at him, "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again. Do you hear me?"

"I'll certainly do my best, but it does appear that I draw life threatening situations to myself... So I can't promise." He chuckled before he face was gripped between Khan's larger hands.

"I am not joking around James," he brought them closer together and brushed his ear with his lips, "I cannot lose you."

He swallowed and closed his eyes, "You won't lose me Khan." He said softly, "I... I promise."

As they parted, Kirk cleared his throat and looked around at Spock, smiling faintly as he saw that the Vulcan had turned away to give them privacy. Maybe Spock understood better than he had previously thought.

He grumbled and rubbed his chest as the last of his ribs repaired themselves and he shuddered before his slightly fuzzy memory began to clear, "He said '_you leapt without looking and now you're getting burned for it. Just like your father did_'... That was what he said..." he murmured, "Not many people knew that my dad had the whole 'leap without looking' attitude going on and even less people are actually alive to remember it. It's a strange way to put it as well, Pike said I was like that, he said my dad was like that and this... Guy said the exact same words. It is... Strange." He frowned.

"Maybe you are just over thinking things Captain, you've just been in a serious accident..." Spock suggested.

"No, no... That's not it," he looked at the wreckage of the bike he had been riding, "Ugh I don't know... I just want to get out of here. File a report, tell the police, pay for the damage to the bike and go home..." he trailed off suddenly and swore, "Oh yeah... Home is gone."

"I'm sorry James." Khan said quietly as he moved to be at his side.

"Nah forget it, that place was never home for me anyway... I just hope that there was no one inside when it went up," he sighed and rubbed his forehead, "Well, I can't go back to the Enterprise yet, and after three near death experiences in three months I think I have earned a break. I'm gonna arrange to visit my mum."

Spock looked at him with a quirked eyebrow, "Truly? Don't you think you should remain close to Starfleet Head Quarters for the time being?"

"Spock... I had a deranged bomber just try to kill me, I think I have earned a break." He laughed, "I just want a week or so out there, give me a chance to get my head together, visit my mum and chill out." He looked at Khan, "And you are coming with me."

"What?" the Vulcan and the superhuman said together.

"You were staying with me anyway... And I am sure my mum will just love you." He smirked slightly, "She has a thing for anti-social strays." He teased.

"Anti-social?" Khan repeated with raised eyebrows, "I am not anti-" he paused as he saw the blonds' expression and he sighed, "Alright so I might be slightly anti-social."

"Exactly." He clapped him on the shoulder before he glanced over the car that had been parked up.

"Spock... Were you driving that thing?"

"Yes Captain," the Vulcan responded, "I learned out to hotwire vehicles from you."

Jim stared for a moment, before clearing his throat, "Right well don't tell everyone that. My rap-sheet is long enough without car theft being added to it." He chuckled.

Khan watched the pair for a moment before he reached out to stead the blond as he swayed and seemed to slump slightly; he checked his pulse and listened to his heart beat before he looked him over, "I think you're going into a little bit of shock... We should get you sat down."

"I'm fine..." he mumbled, but didn't stop the other man from steering him towards the car and sitting him down inside the back.

"I don't care if you think you are fine, I'm not risking anything with you, not after that." He breathed as he brushed his cheek with his fingers.

"Alright," Kirk surrendered, letting his head dropped down against the other's shoulder, "I do feel a bit... Drained."

"That would be the DNA still working on you; it takes a lot of energy to do... You get used to it after a while." Khan told him as he put an arm around his shoulders and shuffled to get more comfortable as he sat in the back of the car beside him.

"Alright... Fair enough..." he grumbled, "Sorry for worrying you."

"Don't apologise, it... I am merely pleased that you are alive and well." The dark haired man breathed, pressing a kiss against the top of the other's head, "But you are not leaving me. I won't allow it."

He chuckled lightly, "I'm not leaving you, I am too tenacious."

"No arguments from me on that account."

"Bastard."

"You love it." Khan said confidently.

"I'm saying nothing," Jim murmured, "When I tell someone I love them they die or they leave."

The dark haired man stared down at him as he fell silent, from his breathing he assumed that he has drifted off to sleep and he didn't blame him after what he had just gone through. But his words echoed in his mind and made his think: did James fear being abandoned to the extent that he would actually withhold his feelings? What was he saying? Of course he did. And how did he know that? Simple: he did it too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello again, thanks so much for the continued support and the lovely reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy what I have planned! We have a mini declaration of love this chapter, as well as a guest appearance from Winona Kirk (Jim's mum). Enjoy!**

**Chapter Nine: Winona Kirk:**

Jim sighed and sat back in the car, watching as Spock drove them down the highway. Of course he shouldn't have been shocked to learn that the Vulcan knew how to drive, he was good at everything after all, yet he found to his later chagrin that he was surprised by that menial fact.

Not to mention that it annoyed him that he hadn't been allowed to drive himself. He had fond memories of this stretch of road, and the nearby cliff he had driven his step-dad's vintage car off; a giggle escaped him and he quickly looked out of the window as it attracted concerned gazes from Spock and Khan.

He had convinced them both to allow him to head back home to Iowa, though it had taken every ounce of his considerable persuasive ability to do so, and even then he had been forced to allow Spock to accompany him.

It wasn't that he was ungrateful for his First Officer's concern, but Spock was the biggest cock-stopper he had ever encountered and if there was one thing that he wanted after a death defying act, it was some private servicing in the bedroom. And he had so nearly had Khan all to himself.

He sighed inwardly and tousled his hair restlessly. Spock's car smelled funny. Like a mixture of space dust and woodchips.

He looked up as they left the highway behind them, and felt his stomach twist into a knot as they started down the familiar smaller roads in the direction of his mum's house. He probably could have and should have called to tell her that he was going to visit. But somehow he foresaw that conversation going one way and one way only.

Jim rested his head in one hand as they turned off and headed down the long and bumpy driveway, tension rolling off his hunched shoulders and he abruptly regretted his vacation option. What had he been thinking?

He inwardly groaned as the car came to a smooth stop, and he took a moment to gather himself, letting himself slip on his undefeated mask of control and competence.

Lifting his gaze and grinning at Khan, who had been watching him systematically fall apart and repair himself for the best part of an hour, and got out of the car before anyone could say a word.

He took a moment to breathe in the fresh air after being cooped up in Spock's car for so long, and then he moved around and opened the boot, pulling out his travel bag. Strange as it may seem, he kept a bag of his clothes and essentials at Spock's place in case of of emergency, and considering that the rest of his clothes had been blown up along with his apartment... It was a good job that they had that arrangement going.

He went to throw the bag over his shoulder but paused as the bag was taken off him; he turned and found himself looking at Khan with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not going to break, you know." He stated calmly.

"I know," Khan smirked, "But I want to make the right first impression with your mother."

"Was that... _Sarcasm_?" Jim asked exaggeratedly, "The broody superhuman cracked a joke! Let me mark it in my calendar!"

"Broody?" he repeated sceptically.

He opened his mouth to provide some witty answer by stopped when he heard a door open, followed by a gasp of surprise; he turned slowly, his smile wavering momentarily as he cast his gaze over the willowy woman who was stood on the porch.

Her hair had gone curly over time, her skin slightly aged by stress and her sky blue eyes were now assisted by rimless glasses. But there was no mistaking the elegant and intelligent face of Winona Kirk. She had retained her first husbands' surname despite her second marriage, a factor which invoked her son's respect and ire in equal measure.

"Hi Mum." He greeted with a casual wave of his hand.

"H-Hi?! That's all you have got to say to me after four years?!" she exclaimed as she swept down off the porch and strode over to him, "No phone calls, no emails, no contact whatsoever and then you turn up on my doorstep looking like you've been run over?!"

She had a valid point; of course, he had neglected to wash the blood off himself after his timely resurrection.

"Well... I wasn't _quite_ run over, it was more 'thrown over a car from a speeding motorcycle while chasing the man who blew up my apartment' than actual running over..." he offered, sarcasm dripped from his voice.

Khan and Spock watched the exchange, the former believing that Jim's attitude was going to earn him a harsh slap. He was bewildered therefore, when instead; the woman laughed loudly and threw her arms around her son with nothing short of admiration and pride glowing in her eyes.

"Still a little shit then?" she asked with a smirk as they parted.

"Course! Captaincy has given me a longer leash to play with," he smirked right back at her.

Winona chuckled at him, "I was incredibly proud when I learned of your success... I am merely disappointed that I had to hear it second hand. I expected a phone call from my smug son telling me that he had beaten Christopher's gamble and reached the level of Captain so quickly."

He faltered momentarily before he shrugged it off, "Like has been a busy bitch. What can I say?" he cleared his throat, "Speaking of which, may I introduce my First Officer, Commander Spock... Hailing from proud Vulcan ancestry, he is also half human and one of my closest friends and confidants. As well as Khan Noonien Singh, former Captain of the... Well, let's just leave it at that for now." He trailed off, and stepped aside, gesturing to the two men behind him.

Spock introduced himself first, holding his hand up in the traditional Vulcan way, "Live long and prosper, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs Kirk."

"Please call me Winona," she corrected as she returned the Vulcan had sign, "I visited Vulcan in my early years aboard the Kelvin, I was most saddened to hear of its fate, I hope you will accept my condolences."

"Thank you," he bowed his head and stepped aside, appraising Jim with a look which clearly suggested that he was surprised that such an instinctual young man came from such a kindly woman. Kirk just ignored him and watched Khan carefully.

Khan could feel Jim's eyes on him, he wondered if the man was concerned about how he was going to act or if he was concerned about what his mother's response to him was going to be. It was then he realised why, Winona was a former Starfleet Officer, she would have been informed about the incident surrounding himself and Admiral Marcus, perhaps she would be angry or try to enact revenge for the sake of old friends and comrades.

"It is an honour to meet the mother of such a remarkable man as James," he greeted, inclining his head to her, "I am certain that you are just as remarkable as he is."

"You speak very well, as far as terrorists go." Winona answered, meeting his gaze and never once flinching, "My son certainly keeps strange company."

"Perhaps that is the case, however I can only assure you that I mean your son no harm, I would no rather hurt him than I would cut off my own hand." He answered honestly, "You son has... Come to mean a lot to me. If you would be willing, I would appreciate the opportunity to explain my former actions three months ago."

She appraised him for several moments, glancing at her son and seeing the almost adorable expression of concern on his face, "Very well. Come in, I will make some tea and you can tell me all about it. I am nothing if not a patient listener."

"Thank you." He smiled very faintly before he looked at Jim, seeing the gratitude in his eyes.

Khan was really started to hate tea. He thought Jim's tea in the apartment had been bad, but regrettably Winona's version was even worse than that of her son. It was bitter and milky, making his tongue want to shrivel up and hide. But he had better manners than to leave the tea or say something, so he continued to drink it in between explaining to the woman what had happened to make him take action against Starfleet. He wasn't alone either, Jim spoke in depth about what had happened, keeping no detail from her, it appeared that Winona was a woman who valued honesty above tact.

When it came to the section concerning the Warp core, Jim's voice quietened very slightly, he could see the shock in the woman's eyes as her son told her that he had sacrificed himself, but then to move on to how Khan's blood and DNA had saved his life.

Winona looked at Khan with an entirely new emotion on her face, relief with a hint of appreciation; Khan ventured to wonder if the woman would even survive losing her son.

"I think I understand," she said when they finally finished speaking, "If my son was used against me I would move heaven and Earth to protect him; no one should hate you for that."

"You and James are a rare kind of person indeed," he offered, "I have met few others who would agree with you for even a moment."

"Well, people can be fickle. My son and I are... Realistic. And I am hardly going to hate someone who saved his life, I owe you a great deal." She murmured before she cast her eyes over her son, "So tell me, did you really get flung off a motorcycle after chasing a car at high speed after someone blew up your apartment?"

"Yes." Jim answered, "There has been a lot of strange goings on, there was a bomb planted at Starfleet Head Quarters during a party, a mystery bomber with a fetish concerning the anniversary of the Kelvin's destruction... The bomb was only deactivated using the date of my birth and on top of that... The bomb was made of bits of the Kelvin's hull, along with the name plate."

Her eyes widened slightly as he spoke and her mouth dried, "That is... Strange indeed. But how did you... Are you not hurt?" she asked.

Kirk sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead momentarily, "I... Died." He answered, "Khan's blood... Saved me, brought me back. It healed my injuries and... I'm fine." He told her.

"Thank goodness..." she breathed, looking at Khan, "It seems I owe you twice over. You have my thanks Khan."

"It was nothing; I could not see him die... Not after everything..." the dark haired man trailed off and he looked at the blond haired Captain he was sat next to, they shared a long look before parting and glancing in opposite directions.

Winona smiled slightly as she watched them interact, she knew her son had a history of being a little frivolous with the female company that he kept, and she knew that he was a bit of a man whore at the best of times... But there was something in his eyes which she had not seen before, and when he looked at Khan it came to life. And she could see that Khan cared for him in return, there was some warmth in his expression when they looked at each other, warmth which was otherwise absent.

"Well, I can't have you sat there looking like death itself, go upstairs and have a shower boy, I'll see about arranging some accommodation. I assume you are here to stay for a while?" she said as she got to her feet.

"Yeah, things have been so busy I figured a week or two out of Starfleet would do me some good. You don't mind?" he said as he stood as well.

"Not at all, if you remember where it is you can take your bag to your room, save your poor friend lugging it around for you." She added as she gestured to the bag at Khan's feet.

Kirk shot a playful glare at Khan before he grabbed his bag from him, "Yes Mum." He said obediently before he turned and disappeared up the stairs.

Khan chuckled under his breath as he watched a more compliant Jim slip into the place of the usually bossy arrogant one and he looked at Winona, seeing that she was watching him he felt his muscles tense before he relaxed slightly as she nodded once at him and disappeared from the room as well.

It seemed he had been accepted, at least for the time being. That was good enough for him.

Jim sighed after his shower, sitting on his double bed restlessly and casting a wandering eye around his old bedroom. It hadn't changed at all; it was good that some things were the same it would keep him grounded and peaceful to an extent. He was almost paranoid enough to do a run of the house and make sure that there were no bombs present... But he managed to stave off that particular activity for the time being.

He did, however, find himself curious as to where his step-dad was and he considered it for a moment. He hadn't seen his car in the driveway, he hadn't seen any of his possessions around the house and he... Oh, he hadn't seen the wedding ring on his mother's finger either. Had they broke up? Divorced? Had she killed him and pushed him off a cliff? That last one was mainly in his dreams but there was a definite chance that they had divorced. Suddenly, staying there didn't seem like a bad idea.

He dried himself off and got dressed, sitting back down on the bed before he flopped back, and stared up at the ceiling, there were small cracks that hadn't been there when he had left, but they weren't serious enough to warrant his full attention.

"James?"

He sat up as he heard Khan's voice and smiled slightly, "Yeah?"

"Are you alright?" the dark haired male asked as he walked in and sat on the end of the bed.

"Yeah... It's not as bad as I had myself thinking it would be. And I am pretty sure that she's split up with my step-dad so it is even better!" he chuckled; Khan smiled but it seemed to die on his lips as he looked at his hands.

They sat in silence for a moment before Kirk decided he couldn't take the pressure, "What's wrong? Is there... Something on your mind?"

"I am merely..." he paused and sighed, "... I find myself concerned for your safety, and after the crash I... I could not bear to lose you James."

He looked away stiffly as he spoke and shuffled on the bed, "I'm nothing special Khan; I'm an asshole half the time."

"Well... No that wouldn't come out right-" he said and frowned.

"What were you going to say?" Kirk asked.

"I was going to say 'well you are my asshole' but then I realised what that sounded like." He flushed slightly as Jim burst out laughing in response.

"Oh my God! Haha! Oh no... No it hurts..." he laughed hard and held his side, gasping as he found himself suddenly pinned down on the bed by the other man.

Khan looked down at him as he pinned him in place, "Are you laughing at me Mr Kirk?"

"Yes, Mr Singh, I am laughing at you." He grinned.

"I wouldn't advise it." He murmured.

Jim just smirked at him, "Oh? What are you going to do about it?"

"Mm... This."

Khan leaned down and claimed his mouth heatedly; crushing their lips together and groaning softly as Jim responded, winding his arms around him tightly and holding him close as he slipped his tongue into the other's mouth and pressed it against his.

Entwining with him, Jim laced his fingers into Khan's perfect locks inwardly thinking that Scotty would have to rethink who he nicknamed 'Mr Perfect-Hair' before his mind went blank as their hips pressed together and he let out a weak whimper against him. He slipped one of his legs around Khan's and yanked him closer still, gasping into his mouth and arching his back at the contact they shared.

Pulling back with a satisfied smirk on his face, Khan looked down at him and leaned in, kissing the corner of his mouth thoughtfully, "I'm never letting you go James, you're mine from now until the end of time. Can you live with that?"

Looking up at him with a heated gaze, he nodded once, "I can live with that, if you can live with me and my faults."

"I think that applies to both of us." He murmured before he kissed him again and moved to sit back.

Jim stopped him from moving and turned them so that they were laying down on their sides together; he looked at him for a moment as though debating whether or not it was truly safe to bear his soul to this man or not. Making up his mind he leaned in and rested his head under Khan's chin, closing his eyes tightly and gripping a handful of the other's shirt, holding onto him as though he might disappear.

"You don't have to say those words James; I know that you said that when you say them people leave you... So don't say it," Khan breathed, "But know that I feel that way for you. And I am not going to leave you or disappear. You are stuck with me. For good."

"Khan you don't know that..."

"Shh." He interrupted, "Trust in me, and know that it would take an army to rip me from your side."

Jim looked up at him slowly, brushing their lips together, "I feel... I feel that way for you as well."


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow, super fast update again! Thank you very, very much for your wonderful reviews, I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Here comes another twist in the plot!**

**Warning:**** Minor swearing!**

**Chapter Ten: Favour and Fault of James Kirk:**

A few days passed without incident, he had been contacted by Starfleet to inform him that new accommodation had been arranged on his behalf and he would be compensated for his loss of possessions as much as was possible; they also informed him that sixteen people had been killed in the explosion and that their families had been informed. Everyone had been a member of Starfleet; it had been a Starfleet apartment block, designated for housing members of the Federation who had nowhere else to live. And it had been a damn good set up too.

He was pleased that he was able to get a few days rest after everything that had happened in recent weeks, Spock and Khan were on their best behaviour, there was no arguing or glaring between them and he did wonder if the two had reached some form of mutually silent agreement for his sake, and the sake of his mother.

Winona was merely glad to have a house full again, she had sat him down and explained that it had been three years since she had divorced his step-dad and it had been the best thing she had ever done, second only to giving birth to him. It had filled his heart with a devilish excitement to know that his step-dad had received his marching orders, and it was even better to know that his mother didn't regret it. She seemed happier than he had seen her.

There were a couple of things still troubling him however, small changes which would mean little under normal circumstances, now made him wonder and speculate. Since his second death, his speed had increased, he went for daily jogs around the grounds and sometimes down the road to the shops and back, and over the passing days when Khan had sometimes ventured to join him he had noticed that he had been able to keep pace with the man, compared to their stint on the Vengeance together where he had been left flagging behind with his average human speed.

On top of that, his sense of smell and hearing had enhanced, he was hearing the smallest of noises, and the faintest of odours, including a rather embarrassing episode of smelling someone (naming no names) pass wind.

His sight was better than it had ever been, he could see clearly over longer distances than before and he could read faster, in truth he could read better than he had ever read before.

As much as he wanted to ignore it, there came a point where he had to admit that the second administration of Khan's blood to his body had undoubtedly triggered a faster transformation of his own DNA into the superhuman version. He could tell by these small things, when he put them together as a whole, that he was very nearly changed completely. And there as very little left to define him as an average human, if he had indeed ever been average.

'_Because I looked up your file while you were drooling on the floor. Your aptitude tests are of the charts. So what is it? You liked being the only genius-level repeat-offender in the Midwest?'_

No, no he had never been average. Average wasn't in his nature, his nature was to be unpredictable and better than average. It was just his choice whether or not to _**be**_ better.

Jim sighed slightly as his train of thought was broken by the sound of his Mum's car pulling into the drive; he shuffled and jumped down from the tree branch he had been sitting on and walked over as she got out of the vehicle.

"You buy anything nice from the store?" he asked as he opened the boot for her and pulled out the shopping bags.

"That would depend on what you consider to be 'nice'." She answered with a coy smile, "Where are the boys?"

"No idea," he shrugged, "I left them asleep this morning. But I have been out here for hours, so their either got themselves up or are still there."

She chuckled in response and took the last bag out of the car before the two Kirks headed into the house to unload the shopping. When they got indoors, Jim stopped in his tracks as he watched Khan hoovering the carpet while Spock dusted the shelves. He raised an eyebrow and very slightly tipped his head to the side as he watched Khan bend down to pick something up. He snapped out of it as he saw his mother looking at him and his cheeks became coloured with a dark pink flush as she smirked slightly knowingly at him.

He ignored her and cleared his throat, "What... Are you doing guys?" he asked.

"Captain, as ever you seem to have the need to question the obvious." Spock answered.

"Winona is letting us stay here free of charge; it is only polite that we do something towards the upkeep of the house while we are here." Khan added, smiling at the blond woman.

"Aw how sweet!" she chimed, carrying her bag through the throe of men and into the kitchen, "I wish you'd rub some of that attitude off on my son."

"Hey! I'm helping you carry the bloody shopping!" Jim protested before he rolled his eyes at Khan's crooked smile and followed her into the other room to help her.

To her credit, Winona didn't question the way she had caught her son appraising Khan even though they both knew that she had seen it. It was one of the reasons he was glad that she was his mother and not someone else who was likely to be bothered by it. And as she had so aptly pointed out on the day of his arrival, she knew he was a bit of a man-whore. Though that wasn't something he had actually expected to hear from her.

When he had finished assisting her, she shooed him away so that she could start cooking something 'nice' for their evening meal; Jim stepped into the living area and found that the Vulcan and superhuman had completed their cleaning tasks, he went and sat down on the newly made up sofa before Khan. Spock was in one of the armchairs, looking surprising comfortable with his surroundings, which made a pleasant change.

"So, I have to ask... Why are the two of you so friendly? You're cooperating, you aren't at each other's throats, you haven't even had a bitch-slapping contest lately," he said with quirked eyebrows, "Did you guys sign a truce or something while I wasn't looking?"

"Something like that." Khan ventured as he glanced at the Vulcan, "When we found you in the road I think we both realised that we both care about your safety and your happiness... It seems a natural conclusion therefore not to cause you grief by arguing and sniping constantly."

Jim considered it for a moment before he shrugged, "It's all cool, and a lot easier without having to worry about the two of you tearing chunks out of each other."

"We thought as much." Spock sighed, "I cannot say that I trust Khan yet, he has done much to make many suspicious of him, however I am willing to attempt peace because of your... Involvement, Captain."

"Thanks Spock." He smiled slightly and glanced at Khan before he looked away again.

The slightly awkward silence was then broken by the buzzing of Kirk's communication device; he jumped slightly and pulled the phone from his pocket and answered it.

"Kirk here." He answered quickly, faltering as there was no answer for several minutes.

"_Captain! I cannae hear you very well, you're breaking up_!" Scotty's voice sounded suddenly and made him raise an eyebrow.

"Mr Scott, what's the problem?" he asked, trying to speak clearly so the man could hear him a little better.

"_There's been a problem with the Enterprise, sir, some... Ah, damage."_

"What do you mean _damage_?" he swallowed, feeling his stomach knot, "Is she salvageable?"

"_I cannae tell you everything at the moment Captain, I'm still running the diagnostics check... But from what I've found so far, someone's been tampering with her engines and the Warp Core."_ Scotty's voice was tense; he knew that the Warp Core was still a slightly sensitive subject for the man.

Jim hesitated and met Spock's inquisitive gaze, "Alright Scotty, I want you to finish the diagnostics check and report back to me. Do not speak to anyone before you've spoken to me, that... That is an order."

"_Understood Captain."_

When the line went dead, Jim got to his feet and walked out; calling the same Starfleet Commander who had led the meeting with himself, Spock and Khan a few days previously.

"Hello sir, I'm sorry to call you without warning, this is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise, I've just had a call from my Head of Engineering..."

Khan listened from his seat, his eyes closed to assist his concentration and he focused on the conversation Jim was having outside. He knew it was ill-mannered of him to eavesdrop but he was concerned from him, he had seen a change in his posture when he had been talking to Mr Scott on the phone and he could detect a mixture of anger and worry in his voice now he was talking to someone else.

A few moments later, the door slammed shut and Jim stalked across the lounge, ignoring the calls from his two male friends as he disappeared into the kitchen, throwing his phone down on the counter as he moved.

"What's wrong dear?" Winona asked her son as she saw the murderous look in his sea blue eyes.

"Someone tampered with the Enterprise... This is just the latest in the line of problems going on. And... It all feels like it is linked to me somehow, I know that might sound self-centred but..." he paused and pinched the bridge of his nose, "... Listen, the bomb was planted at a party which I was attending; then _my_ apartment block was blown up; now _my_ ship has been sabotaged... When I came off that bike... I _knew_ who it was... His voice was familiar but I just couldn't place him... I couldn't see very well so my sight couldn't help... But I felt like I knew him... And they way he spoke to me was almost... Tenderly, like he was egging me on to be better than I am. The things he said were personal things, like he _knew_ me."

"James..." she murmured.

"Tell me I'm going crazy." He said, "Please tell me this sounds crazy..."

"It doesn't." She sighed, "I think you're right. I think this is about you."

"Shit... I knew it..." he leaned against the counter and threw a hand through his hair restlessly, "I... Said the same thing to the Head Commander of Starfleet, and he... He agreed with me as well."

She tipped her head, "What does he plan to do about your thoughts?"

Jim sighed heavily and bit at his bottom lip, "Well, I've got Spock and Khan to cover my ass for the time being, not that I need the extra protection."

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes going wide as he grabbed a large knife from the block and ran it across his forearm, showing her the blood welled cut before it healed before their eyes, "I'm... I'm not _average_ anymore... I'm like Khan."

Winona sighed and rested a hand over his, "Maybe you should head back to San Francisco? I know you wanted a week away but with everything that is going on I think you need to be with your ship and your crew... Your _family_ James, they are going to need talking to about what is happening too."

"I know, but I don't want to go yet. I feel like I only just got here..." he murmured, leaning forward over the counter and playing with some breadcrumbs which littered it, "Plus, I really want to make sure that this is personal before I tell the others. They think I'm pigheaded enough without making some crazed accusation like this."

"You _are_ pigheaded, what difference is this going to make?"

"Oh... Thanks a lot Mum!" he half growled, "I'm serious!"

"I know, I'm sorry love." She smiled weakly and touched his arm.

He moved from his resting place and glanced at the doorway where Khan and Spock were sat beyond, "What do you think about him, Mum?" he asked in a quieter tone.

"I think he cares a great deal about you and your wellbeing, but I also think that if he truly had to make a choice he would choose to save his own life over yours. He is a tricky one to read, he had many emotions but hides them all save for the ones he wants people to see... But I have seen the way he looks at you and that is truthful, his eyes are warmer and tender when he looks at you, James." She sighed softly, "I think... You should open up to him and let him see the real you."

"The... Real me?" he repeated, looking at her slowly.

"You are my son. Do you really think I cannot see beyond your mask? Your distrust of people and your need to shield yourself with falsities and facades; your sexual need to make yourself feel better by bedding men and women so that you feel more loved; your emotional habits of keeping people at arm's length so that you don't get hurt again... I've seen you grow up my boy, I've seen you build that facade from nothing. You can't fool me." She smirked slightly before it faded and she touched his cheek, "Trust him fully and let him see what you truly are."

Kirk looked away from her and glared out of the window, his eyes downcast, he cursed her for being able to read him so well, and when he believed he had everyone so properly fooled. It seemed that the only one who was fooled was himself. He pouted slightly as he looked back at her and he hugged her slowly, wrapping his arms around her and allowing her motherly scent to envelope him, making him feel safer.

He sighed heavily and grabbed his communication device as he pulled back at the last minute, stepping aside his he made to make another call, he was distracted by the whistling of a fast moving object through the air before the window shattered and the object embedded itself in his mother's chest, spurting blood from the wound as she staggered and collapsed.

A cry left his lips as he dropped down, catching her in his arms just before she hit the floor, he cast his eyes over the wound and faltered as he saw she had been shot with an antique 21st century bullet which had penetrated her chest and was pumping blood out.

He pressed his hand against the wound, glancing out of the window as he saw a figure disappear between the trees out the back of the house; Jim looked down at her and faltered as he saw she was getting paler. The kitchen door was forced open to its furthest point as Spock and Khan both swept into the room, having heard the shot and Kirk's cry.

"Wh-What happened?" Khan asked, his voice faltering for a moment as he saw the blood covering the blond man's hands as he pressed them against his mother's chest wound.

"21st century bullet to the chest... Someone fired a shot using an old fashion gun of some kind..." he replied, swallowing thickly as he watched Winona lose consciousness.

"The medics are on their way, Captain, I have called them." his Vulcan friend announced before he crouched down and swapped places with his Captain, pressing his own hand more firmly against the wound as he attempted to stem the blood loss.

Jim sat back against the counter, staring a little blankly as he slowly receded into the back of his mind where he could already feel the numbness of his mental and emotional shutters coming down. He felt a strong hand on his arm and he looked around slowly, finding himself face to face with Khan.

"The medics are here, James, come on... You need to get up..." the dark haired male told him as he pulled him up to his feet, half dragging him out of the kitchen and after the stretcher which was carrying his mother.

Khan felt deep concern about the way Kirk was acting and he wasn't sure what to do about it, the blond seemed to have completely shut down, it was like he wasn't even there anymore. He looked at Spock as the large ambulance's doors slammed shut, the Vulcan was staring at Jim as well, and he could see apprehension in his dark eyes.

Jim closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall of the ambulance as he heard the unsteady beating of his mother's heart rate via the monitor she had been hooked up to. He tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't seem to do it.

It was happening all over again, he'd showed her just an ounce of affection and now she was fighting for her life. It was all his fault. It was always his fault.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews on this story, I love reading them and receiving them! I would have updated this chapter sooner but I've only just recovered from a hellish migraine which I had yesterday, so thanks for your patience, I hope you enjoy!**

**This is mostly from Khan's (third person) point of view, because mfm2885 suggested it and I loved the idea! So, I hope you enjoy seeing life from his point of view with a mixture of his emotions and such like!**

**Chapter Eleven: Khan Has The Answer:**

Khan sighed as he watched Jim pacing the hallways, wishing there was something he could say or do to comfort him and reassure him that everything was going to be alright, his mother would survive and the awful things which had been happening would stop happening. But he couldn't lie to him like that, not even to make him feel better, at the end of the day Jim knew the score.

It had been two hours since Winona had been rushed into surgery, and since then Kirk hadn't sat still, it made him dizzy just watching the blond man; but he couldn't afford to take his eyes off him lest he do something foolish.

Spock had disappeared long ago, muttering something about making the necessary calls to Starfleet now that it was becoming painfully obvious to everyone that this was for some reason a personal vendetta against James Kirk.

The mere thought made his blood boil, and he inwardly vowed to protect Jim from whatever came there way, he didn't care if it meant getting hurt himself, he had to look after him. Jim was the only person who understood him in this world, the only one who bothered to care enough to figure out what made him tick. He owed him.

Khan stood up from his seat by the window and moved towards the blond Captain, resting his hands on his arms as he tried to stop him pacing for long enough so that he could talk to him. When the man shrugged him off and continued pacing however, he felt his temper flare and after two further failed attempts he snapped, pinning the man against the wall firmly.

"Talk to me." He stated.

"No." Jim answered, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Why not? Are you afraid?"

"No."

"Then why won't you talk to me?" he questioned, quite confused by his behaviour.

"I don't want to. Get off me!"

"No." He smirked slightly as he mimicked the other's tone as he said it, but he never expected to be caught by a hard punch to the gut.

What shocked him more was the fact that it _hurt_. He had, of course, forgotten that as a fellow superhuman Kirk's punches and kicks would now do a little more damage; and the headbutt which followed all but sent him reeling.

He was forced to think two steps ahead, grabbing Kirk's wrists as he lunched at him again; he had him successfully pinned against the wall again within minutes. Despite his new strength Jim's anger made it hard for him to concentrate enough to evade him, giving him the upper hand.

He looked at him, seeing the anger and the pain in his blue eyes; it tore him up to see him suffering like this. Before anything could be said, he closed the distance and pressed their lips together and kissed him deeply, prising his lips open with his skilled tongue before he plundered his mouth passionately.

It took a few moments, but he finally felt Jim respond to him, his body arched and pressed against his igniting a heated fire in his belly and coiling lower as he matched the pressure and ground their hips together, loosening his grip on his wrists before he gasped into his mouth and felt the others arms encircling his neck, hauling him closer.

The whole world seemed to slow down around them as they kissed, only feeling the passion and the lust; pain and anxiety were wiped away in the wake of the stronger and hotter emotions. The pounding of their hearts and the rushing of their blood, the way their bodies seemed to meld together as though they had been designed to do so.

Khan pulled back slowly, cupping his face in his face as he looked at him with hazy eyes; he smiled weakly, pecking him on the lips once more before he pressed their foreheads together and he began to recover his breath.

"It was my fault." Jim said quietly, "They are after me... I don't know why and I don't know who they are but they want me to suffer and everyone around me is going to get hurt because of it. I don't want that but I don't know what else I can do to stop it... If you got hurt because of me I... I..." he looked away.

"I know." He kissed his forehead, "We'll find who is doing this and we will stop them, I promise you that Jim. If someone can so much as give me a bruise they deserve to hurt me."

"Don't say that," he breathed, touching the other's face thoughtfully, "Don't give anyone a chance to try. Please."

Khan smiled weakly and nodded, "Alright, I promise."

Kirk pulled back slowly and let out a breath, he looked through the small door where his mother was being operated on before he turned away and sat down in the windowsill opposite.

"She's all I've got Khan," he murmured, "If she dies... I won't have anything left..."

"You will have your family, the Enterprise..." he paused, "You'll have me."

"Will I? Have you I mean?" Jim looked at him, "Why do you like me? Why are you even here?"

Tipping his head slightly, Khan looked at him with surprise, "I'm here because I care about you, I figured that was obvious. And as for why I like you... I don't know... There's just something about you which attracts me, I can't figure it out, but I'm not sure I really want to either." He smiled slightly, "You are the only person in this world who understands me James, the only one who has really tried; you're the only one who knows what I've been through."

Sighing softly, the blond rubbed his forehead before he snaked a hand around his neck and pulled him down into a brief kiss, "I want to believe you are strong enough to survive being at my side."

"Then let me show you that I am." He breathed against his lips, "You'll never get anywhere by shutting yourself away like you have been."

"Between you and my mother, you're going to shatter every article of armour I ever convinced myself that I wear." He sighed, "But maybe... Maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing in the long run."

Khan nodded slightly before he looked around as the doors burst open; the surgeons, porters and nurses exiting the operating theatre with Winona's bed moving between them all.

"How is she?" Jim asked instantly as he stood up and fell into step with the head surgeon who had been in charge of the operation.

"She is responding well to treatment, it took a little while to locate the bullet which caused the damage, but we were able to remove it and it was still in one piece which is the reason that she is still alive." The attractive redheaded woman answered.

He frowned slightly, "What do you mean?"

"If the bullet had shattered and fragmented it would have most likely pierced her heart and killed her instantly, as it is, the bullet remained in one piece which enabled us to remove it without too much difficulty. She has lost a lot of blood, and we've had to arrange a transplant, but she will recover," she touched his arm, "It will take a while, and she is going to have to stay here for a couple of months; there may even been some long lasting damage to her arm where the bullet damaged the nerve tissue. But she will live."

"Thanks." He let out a breath of relief and patted her hand before he followed his mother's bed into the bay she had been assigned.

He couldn't believe the nerve of that female surgeon, laying her hands on him like that while batting her long eyelashes and trying to seduce him with the smallest of touches and movements. Khan felt jealousy pumping through him as he finally gathered the momentum to move and he trailed into the room behind Jim, sitting down in the corner so he could sulk in silence.

Jealousy was something he was unfamiliar with, but he knew what it was and why he was feeling it, books he had read discussed it often enough for him to understand. The woman threatened him because of the way she had blatantly flirted with _his_ Jim.

Of course, he realised that a few heated kisses and soft words hardly made Jim his... But it was a comforting thought and it made him want to rip the bitch's heart out. But he couldn't do that. Jim wouldn't forgive him if he gave him a reason to doubt his belief and trust.

He had to trust Jim, believe that he wasn't interested in the surgeon. How was he meant to do that when he knew what he was like? His own mother had called him a man-whore... Could he really afford to offer his feelings to someone when he had no idea whether or not they would be compliant and trustworthy? Faithful?

Khan didn't want to get hurt, in a way he feared it; for so long he had kept his emotions back so that his logic and his mind could benefit him, there were great advantages in being fuelled by emotions, and he knew that, he had almost brought Starfleet to its knees while running on anger and betrayal alone. But such things as adoration and compassion were alien to him; he was shy of them and uncertain whether or not he could truly allow himself to be so vulnerable.

If he opened his heart to Jim, would he betray him? Would his heart survive the betrayal of the only person he had ever come to l-

"Are you alright Khan?" Jim asked as he moved to sit beside him, "You look ready to bash someone's skull in."

"I'm fine." He said brusquely, "Merely contemplating the judgement of my heart."

"Oh... Wanna talk about it?"

"No." He looked away for a moment before he looked back at him, "The redhead, did you not notice the way she looked and acted towards you? She was attempting to seduce you."

The blond stared for a moment before he sighed, "Yeah I noticed, I was flattered even and under normal circumstances I'd comply and ask her for a drink back at my place before inviting her into my bed. That's just how I roll."

Anger sprang through his veins, "And... What makes these abnormal circumstances?!" he demanded.

"My mother is lying unconscious in a hospital bed after being shot by a madman who wants to kill me." He stated calmly, "And on top of that... I'm not interested in the surgeon I am interested in _you_."

"I..." Khan opened and closed his mouth for a moment before he felt a tingle of embarrassment and guilt, "I apologise... I was out of order."

"Yes, you were being an asshole." Jim agreed and glanced at his mother before looking back at him, "She likes you; she respects your honesty and your justification for your actions... Mum is rarely wrong about people."

"Winona is a wonderful woman, and she raised you well." He answered mechanically.

"No she didn't... I totally screwed up my childhood and there was nothing she could do to stop me. I was hell bent on causing havoc for everyone around me because I could." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "I made her life hell, I never told her I loved her and I didn't respect her enough. I regret it... She didn't deserve any of that crap."

"You can't blame yourself for the past James, if you do it will drive you crazy. Crazier." He corrected with a sly smirk.

"Oh... Oh feeling playful now are we?" he shook his head at him and yawned hugely, hesitating for a moment before he sat more comfortably on the sofa beside him and rested his head on his shoulder, "I know I'm a player, and I've been around the block a few times but you know... I wouldn't cheat. If I am with someone then I will give that person one hundred and ten percent commitment, and I guess... In a way you and me are... Well, never mind." He trailed off awkwardly.

Khan looked down at him, seeing a spatter of flush over the blonds' cheeks; he lifted his arm and put it around his shoulders, giving him a gently squeeze as he pulled him closer into his body, "I apologise for my assumptions, it was wrong of me to make them without due consideration."

"No, you were right to doubt me, I do sleep around a lot; and I have reasons for doing it." He murmured.

"What reasons?" he questioned softly.

"... Ask me again in a few days time and I'll tell you, for now I really don't want to talk about it." He said quietly, "I'm not being evasive; I will tell you but not today."

"I understand." He paused, "May I ask a different personal query?"

"Of course."

Khan considered his words for a moment before shrugging inwardly, "Why have we not been intimate yet, it seems to me that you bed the people you find attractive and yet, you haven't touched me aside from a few passionate kisses and the fumble in the hospital in San Francisco."

"What aside from Spock's cock-blocking?" he smirked, "I don't know to be honest, any other time I'd probably have had you and moved on but maybe... Maybe I don't want that this time. Maybe I want more than that."

"Like... A relationship?" he asked quietly.

He hesitated and looked up at him as Khan seemed to lean down slowly, "I've not had one before, so it would definitely count as something more!" he laughed.

"There you go again, deflecting everything with humour," he chuckled and brushed their lips softly, "I'll stand by you James... You have my word."

"Don't make promises you know you can't keep." The blond said in a breath.

"I never do." The dark haired male said simply before he kissed him tenderly.

What felt like years was only days in reality, Winona was kept in a stable medically induced coma to assist her healing process, and while that was happening Jim and Khan returned to her house to take care of things. He still had a few days of his holiday left and he was going to make sure everything was ready for when she was fit to return home. And a brief phone call to Scotty made him relax as he learned that the sabotage to the Enterprise had been repaired.

Starting with the security issue: it turned out that it was incredibly worth while having Khan around, the man repaired the shattered kitchen window and installed an attractive fence around the back garden so that a repeat incident couldn't occur, and it only took him half a day to do.

Meanwhile, Jim had been cleaning the house from top to bottom, making sure it was sterile for her return; although he wasn't sure when that would be it was the thought which counted.

By mid-evening, they had both finished their tasks and were sat in the lounge together watching the television for news from Starfleet; apparently there had been no new leads concerning the bombing and the trails were

going cold.

"I can't believe the guy got away after everything he's been doing," Jim sighed heavily and turned, draping his legs over Khan's restlessly, "Surely there had to be some kind of trail, starting with the type of bomb used and where he might have got the explosives from... Then there is the weapon used to shot Mum, it's an old gun, historical even. The guy can't be that old so he must have stolen it from somewhere."

"I think you are over thinking things, James." The other answered as he rested his hands on his legs and rubbed gently, "You're too close to the case; you need to take a step back and revaluate."

Rolling his eyes, the blond rested his head back against the arm of the sofa, "I guess you're right, but still, they should have found the guy."

"Well, I won't argue with that. And while he is still on the loose and you are in danger I will not be leaving you alone. Consider me your personal body guard..." he gave him a crooked smile.

"Oh, my personal body guard hm? Does that mean you have to follow me everywhere?" he grinned.

"Why I believe it does, yes." He agreed, squeezing his knee firmly as he met his gaze.

Jim flushed slightly as the pressure on the joint sent a pleasant zing rush to his most intimate area, "You... You might not want to do that again unless you are willing to deal with the consequences." He said a little shakily.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Khan asked with a coy smirk.

"You know what I mean!"

"This?" he asked as he squeezed his knee firmly again and chuckled as the saw the blond squirm slightly in response, "Ah, now who is squirming?"

"Ugh damnit." Jim cursed before he yanked his legs away from Khan, knelt up on the sofa and leaned over, kissing him heatedly as he wound his arms around his neck and slowly straddled his lap, pressing his prominent hardness against him with a muffled moan.

Momentarily surprised by the effect two simple squeezes had had on the man, Khan then realised that Kirk had been abstaining from any sexual contact the entire time they had been dancing around each other, undoubtedly meaning that the man was highly sensitive at the current time. Not that he minded. Not one bit.

He wound his arms around him and pulled him closer as he returned the kiss with full and fervent lips, stealing his tongue into his mouth and groaning through his nose as he met resistance from Kirk's.

They battled for dominance for several long minutes, simply pressing against one and other and sharing heated embraces which made their toes curl and their loins ache. And when he could take it no more, Khan stood up with the blond still attached to him before he turned them and laid the man down, climbing over him and pressing against him more firmly than before.

Unable to resist, he snuck a hand under the tightly fitting black jumper which Jim was wearing and finally had his first proper feel of the plains of his taut chest and unblemished skin. He wondered briefly if he had felt the same before becoming as superior as he was, but set it aside as he revelled in the texture of his body and the firm practiced muscles which twitched and responded to the firm and pleasant touches of his fingertips.

Parting for air, their gazes met, two shades of blue lost in an internal battle of passion over reason; the decision seemed to be made quickly as well, as they met again into another deep penetrating kiss, Khan lifted Jim's jumper off over his head and began to thoroughly explore his torso, adding every contour and muscle to memory as he went; relinquishing a gasp as he felt cool palms trailing up under his own clothing to rest upon his abdomen.

The front door burst open suddenly, startling to two men as they hastily sat up to see who had disturbed them; their expressions matching in dual forms of anger as they saw their missing Vulcan counterpart stood there with an expression somewhere between shock and embarrassment on his face.

"What the _hell_ are you doing Spock?!" Jim yelled.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews on the last few chapters! I am really glad you have been enjoying it :) Buckle up for this chapter and welcome back the Enterprise!**

**Chapter Twelve: Grinding the Engines, Greasing the Wheels:**

"What the _hell_ are you doing Spock?" Jim yelled as he stood up, brushing his jumper back down and forcing himself to eradicate the flush which covered his face in response to the unprecedented interruption.

"Returning from informing Starfleet of the recent events..." the Vulcan answered, "Captain I-"

"Don't want to hear it." He said, holding up a hand to silence him before he let out a huff and walked into the kitchen.

Spock watched him for a moment before he looked at Khan and then followed after his Captain, sliding the kitchen door shut before he turned to face the blond with an expressionless mask.

"Spock just leave it, please." Kirk sighed as poured hot water into three mugs of tea, "My Mum is in hospital after being shot, I have some mad man after me and the last thing I need is an earful off you."

"I appreciate the circumstances, however as your _friend_ I feel I need to offer my assistance and guidance. And frankly, it is not recommended to have sexual intercourse with known terrorists, Captain." The Vulcan told him, "I have done my best to be polite and courteous but I cannot simply ignore the fact that you are putting yourself in danger."

He looked at his friend and sighed heavily before he set the kettle down and turned to face him; he reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder, "Trust me Spock, when have I ever been wrong? Now tell me what Starfleet said."

Although unconvinced, the Vulcan decided to indulge the man, "They want us to return to San Francisco as soon as possible; the Commander's believe it would be for the best if you... Left Earth until this problem is solved."

"You mean they are sending me away?" he asked in surprise.

"Not just you." Spock muttered and nodded his head towards the lounge.

Jim deadpanned for a moment, "They want me to leave with Khan?!"

"You have been designated as his handler until the matter of your DNA has been resolved; I left out the fact that you have already completed the transformation for obvious reasons but yes... We are to report at HQ before being given clearance to return to the Enterprise."

Jim grinned and finished making the drinks, "I can't wait."

"What about Winona?"

"I have been given utter reassurance that she will pull through, I have very little left to worry about except for other people getting hurt because of this guy's obsession with me. If I get off Earth people are safer. Seems like a logical no brainer."

"Fair enough Captain, I will call them back and tell them that you accept their terms, I would suggest we leave before the day is through."

"Alright... But Spock?" he looked around, "This time _I_ am driving."

-/-

It was surprising to say the least that Jim was capable of driving calmly; he did so as they left his childhood home, having left a message at the hospital for when his mother woke from her sleep. Spock had been giving the pleasure of sitting in the back while the Captain drove and Khan had stolen the front passenger seat.

Having explained the situation to the man he seemed completely content to join the crew of the Enterprise in space as long as it meant some level of protection for Jim. It had been something of an unpleasant business to phone the most important members of the crew to inform them of this, all of whom could easily recall the last time the man had been aboard, and what it had lead to. Nevertheless, between Spock and Jim, they had managed to convince them.

Observing Jim, Khan could tell that the blond was eager to be reunited with his ship as any good Captain would be; but there seemed to be an undertone of hesitation about that eagerness as well and he thought perhaps it was because for the first time he was being invited aboard to partake in being part of the crew.

He could understand why Jim would be nervous about that, they both knew that they were both Captains and were unlikely to ever enjoy taking orders from one and other. So, Khan being a member of the crew was bound to chafe slightly on the blonds' anxieties.

He had little concern for what the other crew members thought, he had been commissioned the by highest law in the Federation to be aboard, and there was nothing anyone could say or do in response to that; however he did look forward to seeing the good Doctor again, there at least was one man beside Jim he believed himself capable of befriending to the fullest if he tried.

As they entered the city, both Spock and Khan noticed how Jim insisted on driving past the decimated area where his apartment had formerly been, only now to be a scene of devastation and rubble. It appeared as though the emergency services had ceased their search for survivors and had only to focus upon cleaning the rubble and metal foundation work to make way for a replacement building of some kind sometime in the near future.

The look of disheartenment in Jim's eyes was unnerving but it was also gone as quickly as it had come; and then he sped up, shooting through the traffic like a professional as he hastened towards Starfleet Head Quarters.

It didn't take long for them to arrive; when they did Jim left it to Spock to park considering it was the Vulcan's car and headed into the building with Khan. Shrugging on his jacket, Kirk led the way to the lifts and ignored the majority of the strange looks thrown his way. Of course everyone knew about his latest involvement in the incidents, everyone knew everyone's business despite any attempt at privacy. He was merely glad Spock was the only one who knew about his 'thing' with Khan, if the Commanders knew about it he would probably have to expect a slap on the wrist and a suspension of some length of time.

They paused outside of the main office before Jim glanced at Khan and offered a small smile before he rapped curtly on the door and pushed it open, nodding his head to the man who was sat inside.

"Mr Kirk, thank you for coming back so promptly, I understand the difficulty that must have posed with your mothers' condition."

"Not a problem Ian," he said as he shook the Admiral's hand and sat down in one of the chairs.

"You know each other?" Khan asked as he shook the man's hand as well and sat down.

"Yeah," Jim chuckled, "Ian is a member of Starfleet's Admiralty and a part of the Federation Command; he was also a childhood friend of Captain Pike's."

"I see..." he swallowed the lump in his throat and sat back quietly, not wishing to be pulled into a discussion relating to his part in the man's death.

"So, I am sure your First Officer has informed you of our desires to send you back to the Enterprise for your own safety." Ian ventured, also deciding to ignore the murderer in the room.

"Yeah, he told me, I have no issue with it... I think it is for the best to be honest. I don't want another repeat of what happened with my apartment block." the blond nodded.

With a sigh, the man sat down, "Well, because of recent events we have decided to send Mr Singh with you, in hopes that you can keep him on some kind of leash."

"Khan doesn't need a leash," he said as he saw the dark haired male's eyebrow twitch, "He is perfectly capable of minding his own freedom, and controlling himself; I might remind you that he was pushed into his actions by the appalling performance of a member of the Admiralty."

"Defensive aren't you?" Ian laughed, "I merely mean that there are a lot of people who are very uncomfortable with _Khan_ and it will require careful handling of the situation to keep control of him and your crew."

"My crew are my responsibility, Khan can take care of himself in most instances," Jim said confidently, "I have the upmost trust in both parties, and they know it."

"Very well, then I have no qualms about him being allowed to go with you to the Enterprise. The only issue we then have is his rank." He sighed.

Kirk sighed as well, "Khan is a Captain. That cannot be ignored or changed."

"Indeed, but the Enterprise already has one Captain and I doubt it requires another."

"Then what do you propose?" Khan asked, folding his arms as he was discussed like he was absent, "I have no designs on taking James's position from him, but as he states correctly I _am_ a Captain."

"I propose... You and Mr Spock share the position of First Officer."

"Are you serious?" Jim asked, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Spock never shares..."

"He will have to, if Khan is willing to do the same that is?"

"I... Have no real option so I will agree." He shrugged and looked at Jim as if for some sign of acceptance.

"Alright," the blond crumbled, "But if this comes back to bite me on the ass I am coming after you Ian."

"It is a deal." The older man laughed and clapped him on the back, "Before you head to the shuttle bays make sure you have your friend kitted out fully for his new duties. It wouldn't do for you to reach space only to discover you've left your best pants behind."

"Hey I did that once, it didn't do me any harm." Kirk laughed and got to his feet slowly, shaking the man's hand again, "Thanks for this Ian, keep an eye on my Mum yeah?"

"Two eyes, as always."

"Cheers."

"Thank you for your help." Khan offered as well before he followed his new Captain and headed out of the office.

The pair walked in silence as they headed for the foyer where they were to meet with Spock, "Well that went well." Jim ventured without looking at Khan.

"If you say so," he grumbled "I do feel as though I have been demoted somewhat."

"Sorry." He sighed, "At least you get to be my right hand man." He winked.

"Or left hand depending on how tightly Spock holds his position to his heart." Khan smirked slightly.

"Nah, you'll be my right hand." Jim grinned as they walked out onto the floor and saw Spock waiting for them not far away.

"What a comforting thought."

-/-

To be fair to him, Spock took the news better than either of them had imagined; to an extent it appeared as though the Vulcan had anticipated it and come to terms with the prospect of sharing his post. However he did abandon them almost as soon as they left the foyer, saying something about preparing to go to the shuttle bays, but both Kirk and Khan had their own suspicions that he had gone to powder his nose and dry his eyes. Okay so they were taking the piss out of him but they needed _something_ to laugh about.

Jim decided that now would be the best time to get Khan suited up and considering that there was a huge storage room going begging just down the hallway... Yes, he knew how to pick the lock.

"So, What colour shirt are we going for Mr Singh?" he asked in amusement, "Red, yellow or blue?"

Khan looked at him for a moment, "Do I have to?" he asked, almost whining.

"Yes you do, all members of my crew will be dressed properly on board the ship or else." The blond answered with an amused smile.

"But..." he sighed and pouted slightly, "Very well... Either red or yellow."

"Alright," he said as he fiddled with the lock and opened the door, letting them into the store room without any hassle.

The Captain began looking through the racks of clothes, he pulled out the official grey suit uniform, as well as the all black off-duty uniform, followed by an two pairs of black trousers and finally a red shirt and a yellow shirt.

"These are your size, now..." he held the red shirt up to Khan and looked him over before he changed it for the yellow one, "Hmm... Choices, choices. You are an engineer by trade as well as a Captain so technically you should be red... And I think is suits you better than the yellow. Yellow makes you look sickly."

"Red it is then." The man said in defeat as he took the pile of clothing from him, sighing as he was handed a pair of shoes as well.

"Now... There should be a store of phaser guns around here as well... Let me see..."

Khan watched in amazement as the man literally threw himself into locating the equipment he required, he even purloined a box for them to put it all in so that he didn't have to lumber around with it in his arms. He stood back and watched him work as he darted from left to right to locate the various things he apparently required.

A few minutes later, he had finished and was slightly red in the face; Jim came to a stop in front of him and smiled, "There we go. That should be everything. If you can think of anything else now would be the time to tell me."

"No I think you have successfully covered everything." He chuckled in amusement before he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, "Thank you."

"Uh... No problem." He said quietly as he looked up at him, his cheeks flushing for a different reason in the wake of the kiss, "Ahem, anyway, that's that... Now we need to- Oh wait you'll be needing a badge insignia." He dived off again and left Khan stood alone with a slightly smirk-like smile on his face.

When they finally left the storage room, Khan did have everything he required and was carrying the box under his arm as they left the HQ in favour of making their way to the shuttle bay to leave Earth and be reunited with the Enterprise.

Khan couldn't lie, he was nervous. It was an emotion he was mostly unfamiliar with, he believed in strength and willpower but he was being internally crippled with anxiety towards being aboard the very ship he had attempted to decimate previous. Of course he had no intentions of doing that again, he was a _mostly_ reformed character, and he had Jim to thank for that, but nevertheless he did feel somewhat peculiar about having being invited to return to the ship.

Kirk on the other hand, was excited to return and he was even more excited to be returning with Khan at his side and more importantly: _**on**_ his side. There was definitely something between them and he was no longer afraid to face that, he had died twice and come out of it better than he had been before; his mother approved and he had nothing to lose. Maybe there would be a time when he could bring himself to actually tell Khan that.

Smirking in amusement, Jim led the way towards the closest Enterprise-bound shuttle, their trip from the HQ to the bay had been a short and uneventful one, and now he was closer to his real home than he had been in a while. Adrenaline was pumping through him and he wanted to hop, skip, and bloody jump aboard.

They labelled and offhanded Khan's luggage to one of the attendants to be packed; Jim greeted several members of staff he recognised and clapped a couple of people on the back or arm as he passed, offering smiles and nods to everyone.

It was in this moment Khan could see why Jim was a good Captain, aside from his risk taking and his 'luck' he was a people person, yes he had the ability to rub people up the wrong way and he was able to anger anyone with very little effort but he was able to instil a sense of peace and a sense of comradeship with just as little effort. He was a friend as well as a Senior Officer; he was a leader and a comrade, a genius and an idiot... He was a stupid genius? Yes, a stupid genius that described him with immaculate accuracy.

As they took their seats and buckled in, he began to feel calmer, space was where they both belonged, and they were children of the stars. And the stars were their home; it was where they were meant to be for better or worst.

Khan tipped his head back and closed his eyes, tuning out the thrum of noise as people entered the shuttle and found their seats; he cared little for them, only the man sat beside him mattered. A small smile ghosted his lips as he considered it and he didn't bother to hide it.

Spock and Bones paused as they stepped onto the shuttle and saw the pair sat together; they shared a look before Bones sat beside Khan and Spock sat on Jim's other side. The blond gave is exalted greetings to them both before he nudged Khan. The dark haired male opened his eyes and nodded to the Vulcan before his gaze fell on the Doctor beside him.

"Greetings Doctor McCoy," he said politely, "It will be a pleasure to work alongside you on the Enterprise."

"Whatever you say." He waved a hand.

"You do not agree?"

"How should I know?! I'm a Doctor man... Not a damned fortune teller."

Jim hid a smirk behind his hand and he cleared his throat, "Play nice boys." He said before he sat back in his seat as the doors shut and the ship began to shake as it took off and fought gravity's hold to rise higher into the sky.

Khan looked at the Doctor as the man poked him, "Just so you know... I may throw up on you."


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! I am so glad you are still enjoying the story! I hope it continues! This chapter is a bit of a comic one, to make you giggle a bit and just to assist in moving the story along before I start the next part of it!**

**Enjoy!**

**Oh yeah, and thanks Kerttu for the solution to my First Officer problem XD**

**Chapter Thirteen: Comical Era on the Enterprise:**

Jim smiled as he sat down in The Chair, finally feeling like he was home. Things couldn't have been any better, a brief call during the shuttle ride had confirmed that his mother had woken up was doing well, while McCoy had given Khan the formal Enterprise welcome, having successfully thrown up on him only eight minutes into the flight. The look on Khan's face had been utterly priceless, a mixture of disgust, concern and humiliation. Kirk, and quite possibly everyone else present, had added it to memory. Forever.

A chuckle escaped him before he sat back, waiting for the rest of his crew to arrive. Chekov's familiar call of 'Captain on the Bridge' had welcomed him with wide arms upon his entry; it was long-awaited and a greeting he had received with greater pride than the first ever time. He had responded with a friendly grin to the Russian before he had made his rounds to ensure that everything was running smoothly.

Sulu had arrived just after him, a handshake was shared between pilot, and Captain before the man had taken to his seat and his duty.

Never before had Jim felt so alive, the changes to his body and his mind thanks to Khan's blood had created this whole knew James Tiberius Kirk, one who felt stronger and more confident than before, yet more empathic towards the feelings of others. He was ready for anything, he was prepared and he was eager. This was going to the best adventure yet, and he got to share it with his family, and Khan. Khan who would become one of the crew, one of the family. And maybe more. It was a tentative though, and one he had not dared to keep ever before.

He was torn from his revere by the sound of the elevator doors hissing open, he stood up and turned around, smiling brightly as he saw his First Officer, the Vulcan also offered a small twitch of the lips which he had learned to accept as the closest thing to a smile he would likely receive for as long as he lived.

"Permission to come onto the Bridge, Captain." He said as they came face to face.

"You're always welcome Spock; I certainly wouldn't have it any other way." He said, clapping the man on the arm, "Make yourself at home." He told him.

"Thank you Captain." The Vulcan inclined his head before he moved away from him and towards Uhura who had arrived sometime prior.

Jim was about to sit down when he heard the doors open again, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and he turned very slowly, his mouth going dry as he saw Khan step out of the elevator and onto the Bridge, the stark contrast of his black hair and pale skin softened by the rich burgundy red of his uniform which looked like it had been handmade especially for him.

"Captain," the man said loud enough for James to hear, "May I come aboard?"

"As if you would listen to me if I refused." The blond smirked, "Of course, Khan, come aboard."

Khan's ice blue eyes twinkled with mirth as he took the few wide strides across the deck to where he was stood and came to stand beside him, "Thank you, _Captain_."

"Are you really going to swap _James_ for _Captain_ now?" he asked with a half pout.

"Do you mind?"

"Well I sort of like the way you say my name." Jim said with a full pout and a bat of his eyelashes.

The dark haired man smirked slightly in amusement, "Well then, James, if it is your desire then I shall continue calling you by your given name."

"You'd better," he gave him a coy wink before he made his way to his seat and stood in front of it for a moment and appraised the sight of the stars blinking at him through the glass.

When he sat down, he felt like he was home, he now had everyone he needed to make him feel safe and protected; he glanced at Khan, also feeling slightly nervous about performing in front of a fellow Captain. He shook the thought away and checked the docking records to see if everyone was aboard, when it appeared that they were he swallowed hard and made himself comfortable.

"Alright then, Mister Sulu, when you are ready take us to Warp Factor Three, and... Punch it." He said as he crossed his legs, watching the young pilot ease down the controls before the stars seemed to come forth and meet them as they leapt into Warp.

"Where are we heading first Captain?" Spock asked as he appeared beside Khan near The Chair.

"Hmm, wherever our hearts take us Spock, why put a name to it when you can let your instincts roam?" he answered with a smile, "The most important thing to do is to get away from Earth, the second most important thing to do... Is to talk to the crew."

Jim hesitated for a moment before he pressed one of the numerous buttons on the arm of his chair, "Captain to the crew of the Enterprise," he announced, waiting for a moment before he heard the familiar crisp white noise of the communication device connecting throughout the ship, "This is your Captain speaking, since the Enterprise grounded there had been a terrorist attempting to take my life; as of yet Star Fleet have been unable to discover who this terrorist is, and we have no idea why he wants me dead. However during his campaign he took the lives of sixteen members of Star Fleet and nearly killed my mother... He had proven himself to be increasingly dangerous and will use any means necessary to achieve his goals.

"For this reason we have been granted permission to leave the Solar System, in hopes that when we return Star Fleet will have located and arrested this man.

"On top of this issue, I have to inform you all that Khan Noonien Singh, former enemy of the Federation is aboard this ship and is acting as my second First Officer. Khan has been pardoned of his crimes by Star Fleet Command in lieu of his assistance and service concerning the events previously mentioned, and because... While reinstating the Warp Core four months ago during his reign of terrorism I was killed by the radioactive energy inside the core, it was Khan's blood which brought me back from the dead by replenishing and irradiating my cells and my DNA, however on the recent voyage of Nagota the solar flare we encountered triggered a mutation of a dormant strand in Khan's blood and caused it to begin changing me. While I am still human in every way, I have taken on many of Khan's own characteristics. I have become stronger, faster and heal quicker, and because of our prior involvement with him it was decided that Khan would be perfect to assist me in the changes."

He paused momentarily, "I am no different now than I was before in personality or feelings, and I swear to each and every one of you that I will do the very best job I can do as your Captain and your confidant. If you need anything or want to discuss anything I have mentioned with me, then you are welcome aboard the Bridge or welcome to find me at my quarters later on. Kirk out."

Ending the message, the blond sat back more comfortably in his seat, he didn't expect anyone to question him, in fact he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have any visitors. He had shown time and time again that he was a competent leader, he hadn't had any complaints in the past, he didn't believe he would have any now. Besides, what could they do if they didn't like it? Shoot Khan back to Earth in a pod that would take years to return? No. Highly unlikely.

-/-

It was hours later, the ship was running as smoothly as it had ever done; however, Jim had been seeing some rather awkward matters of miscommunication aboard the Bridge. It seemed that Star Fleet had not considered the difficulty that they would encounter by having _two_ First Officers onboard. Whenever someone wanted Spock, they got _Khan and_ Spock; whenever someone wanted Khan, they got _Spock and_ Khan.

Having observed his two First Officers running back and forth, treading on each other's toes and raising the tension of their already tremulous relationship further,

But he had had just about enough, "We cannot continue in this manner," he announced as he watched Khan and Spock glowering at each other from across different sides of the Bridge, he forced sharpness into his voice as he addressed them, "Hey! Spock, stop with the Vulcan Death Stare thing you've got going on... Khan... Takes deep breaths and stop holding your breath.

"I cannot sit here calmly and watch you taking invisible chunks out of each other with your snide comments and your evil stares; God only knows how long we are going to be in space together and I will _not_ have it corrupted by your foul tempers. I am invoking my power as Captain and from now until we find a suitable alternative Khan shall go by the honorary title of... Of... Number One." He decided, plucking the idea from nowhere.

It was his turn to glare as he was shot perplexed and derogatory looks from the pair, and he opened his mouth to give them a dressing down that they would not soon forget when, fortunately for them, McCoy appeared at his side.

"One of your better ideas, Jim," he said with a rare smirk, "Honestly, if I have to deal with one more crew member who has been _traumatised _by their glaring and their spats I will be putting them _both_ in _medically induced __**comas**_." He hissed, shooting his own evil looks towards the two men, "Behaving like damned children."

Kirk paused for a moment before slowly turning in his chair to face the Doctor, "Better yet, why don't you just given them both a vaccine against Melvarian Mud Fleas, followed by a sedative and see if they have the same reaction to it that I did? I know that I would just _love_ to see Khan and Spock, two of the most sour faced crew members we have, struggling through a bout of _Numb Tongue_." He said with a wicked smile on his face as he appraised his Chief Medical Officer.

"That..." McCoy paused for a moment before a look of absolute glee passed over his slightly worn features, "-Is an excellent idea."

"I know, I seem to be on a roll today, don't I?" he chirped.

"You do, it's amazing what a little time away can do for the lack of one's brain cells, yes?"

"Inject yourself with the vaccine and sedative as well Doctor." He pouted and turned away as he heard his friend chortling.

The blond got out of his seat and rested his hands loosely on his hips, looking between his _almost_ lover and his best friend, "So, so we have an issue with my idea _gentlemen_?" he asked curiously as he quirked and eyebrow at them both in a very Spock like manner, "And before you say anything at all, it is only logical to come up with an alternative name meaning the same thing while on this mission to prevent any further confusion and bloodshed, so you know, actually if you do have any qualms about it I am just going to boot you both in a launch pod and lock you in there for a few weeks until you sort this damned thing out. Clear?"

"Clear Captain."

"Understood." Came the slightly quiet responses from the two startled men.

Jim nodded once before he tapped Sulu on the shoulder and left the Bridge, having nominated the pilot to take The Chair until his return. He needed a break. A damned long break. This was home alright, he thought with a grin; and boy had he missed it.

Hardly looking at where he was going, he noticed that there had been a few enhancements to the Enterprise since she had docked, Scotty had no doubt done miracles with the Engineering Bay, and he reconciled to go and visit the man a little later in the day. He knew that he was still kind of jumpy about Khan and everything concerning Jim's experience with the Warp Core. The guy had probably padlocked the doors just to stop a repeat.

A chuckle escaped him as he headed for his room, a smile gracing his lips as he stepped over the threshold and glanced over the possession littered walls and surfaces. Sure enough he didn't have a lot of property; he didn't do the whole 'worldly possessions' thing but he did have a few priceless things.

A couple of photographs of his mother and him growing up, a painting he had done at the age of sixteen which had won him first place in an art contest at his school, a wide selection of books which he had gathered over the years, he did have a photograph of his father on his wedding day but he did not keep it of sentimental reasons he kept it so that he would never forget what he was striving to do and he was constantly striving to be better than his father.

However, perhaps the strangest and yet most important thing he owned was a large pebble, the sides were perfectly smooth like silk under his fingers and it was a hue of sea blue and ice blue with several dashes of black. The pebble was ten years in his ownership, yet it was only recently that it had become his favourite thing, ever since he had laid eyes on Khan's. The pebble was the same shades as their eyes, his were sea blue while Khan's were the shade of ice. The flecks of black were the problems they faced and the troubles of their pasts, yet the fact that they were few and far between suggested that they were strong enough to survive them. And it was a rock, rocks were important shape shifters which said to him that they were meant to-

He looked around as the door hissed and opened again, to reveal his _Number One_ in the doorway; he offered a smile to the man as he sat on the edge of the large double bed rather than the chairs in the corner.

"Are you alright?" Khan asked as he stepped inside and heard the door shut behind them.

"Of course," he answered with an easy smile, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... That whole display on the Bridge..." the dark haired male trailed off with a confused frown.

"That was business, this is leisure." Jim said simply as he patted the space beside him, "Come on, and take the weight off for a few minutes."

Still sporting a slightly bemused look, Khan sat on the bed beside him, putting an arm around him automatically and pulling him closer to his body, "So you aren't angry?"

"I am annoyed by your attitude and the attitude Spock has displayed, I thought we could all be adult about this situation but so far the only one being in any way adult about it is _me_ and we all know how much of a rarity that is!" he laughed.

"I apologise, my pride is far too easily dented by someone as skilled at denting as Mister Spock." He sighed, looking around and brushing his fingers down the blonds' cheek, "I will make more of an effort from now on. I know what these people mean to you and I wouldn't want to ruin that in any way by showing you up."

"Hey don't worry about it so much, this is new to you as much as it is to Spock, he's never shared anything in his life so he's protective of his position. Besides, it must be hard having to take orders after so long of giving them?"

"Not as much as I thought." He admitted, "I suppose I just like being bossed around by _you_."

Jim grinned crookedly at him and leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips as he peered into his eyes though his eyelashes, "I quite like bossing you around as well, but I wonder if it would go both ways."

"We'll have to find out sometime won't we?"

"Yes... Yes I think we will." He murmured as he looped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him down into a deeper kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay... Oh my god... This did not happen how I expected however... The mystery man who has been causing Jim so many problems IS REVEALED in THIS CHAPTER! So please prepare yourself!**

**Thanks for the continued support and wonderful reviews! I love them and all of you for sending them. This one is for all of you!**

**Chapter Fourteen: It Is All About The Name:**

"Alright, at 1700 hours we received a distress signal from one of Starfleet's envoy Frigate ships, the USS Frigate Rebellion. She had been set a course for the Andromeda system to talk peace with the Romulans... They were to meet on neutral ground, hence the random star system they ventured into. However, they have not been heard from since they reached the system and it falls to us to explore and hopefully find them, and uncover what has happened. So, Mister Sulu, set a course for the Andromeda system."

"Altering course now, Captain." The pilot responded swiftly as he took control of the external thrusters and changed their destination on the computers.

Jim sat back as he watched the ship manoeuvre through the darkened canopy of space, the final frontier. With a sigh and a small wriggle in his seat, the Captain got comfortable, certain that whatever was coming was going to be exciting and... Well, dramatic, it always was when he was concerned.

-/-

They came out of warp somewhere of the Alpha Delta moon, surrounded by a tremulous oscillating dust cloud which carried a small magnetic charge within the ancient grey-green mist particles.

Kirk got to his feet, ignoring the cramp in his calves, as he approached the main viewing bay on the Bridge, his eyes were slightly narrowed as he scanned the space around them for signs of battle or negotiation. He could see neither and frowned deeply in response, coming at once to rest his hands loosely on his hips as he considered their next course of action.

"Uhura I want you to check the area for open frequencies in Romulan, all three dialects; Spock, your heritage is similar to that of the Romulans... Help her." He said, his back still facing his crew as his well trained eyes roamed the stars and the everlasting sky.

"There are wavering transmissions, Captain. However, they are far from fresh. The white noise in the background suggests that a few hours have passed."

"Your best guess?"

"Three hours, Captain." The woman answered with certainty, receiving a small nod of agreement from Spock as he looked at the screen and listened to the transmissions.

Jim turned to face them and raised an eyebrow, "And what do they say?" he asked.

"It's behind you." Khan breathed.

"Sorry, what Khan?" the blond questioned him, curious as to how he could possibly know without having listened to the messages.

"No, he means literally: behind you Captain." Spock said as he stood up suddenly from his chair and moved forwards.

Upon realising what the pair meant, Kirk turned on his heel and came to a sudden halt as he watched a Romulan Warbird come into view. He tensed as he looked the ship over, it was very different to the mining vessel Nero had captained, and this was more slim line and fitted for battle. He gauged its capacity for battle against a Federation ship; the Rebellion was nowhere in sight so he figured that it wasn't looking too good either way.

"They're hailing us!" Uhura called.

"On screen." He said hesitantly, but by the same breath he forced confidence into his voice.

There was a brief pause before the screen altered and showed the inside of the enemy Bridge. However, the sight which came into view was not what he had ever expected it to be.

Side by side stood a Romulan, and a Captain of Starfleet; there was tension bred from anxiety at the other's presence yet it was overshadowed by their apparent relief at the coming of another friendly ship. Looking hard enough, Jim could see several other members of Starfleet stood in the distance in the Bridge.

"Never had it been so good to see you before Captain Kirk!" he other said with a grin.

"Very funny Captain Valance, what the hell is going on? We were sent to find you after a distress signal was sent, where is your ship Captain?" the blond said as he folded his arms.

"Stolen by a 'Space Pirate' yet I am sceptical. The man had extensive knowledge of the workings of a Starship and was able to conceal himself as a member of my crew. Right up until he hacked into the main artificial intelligence unit and turned the whole ship against us." The Captain looked down dimly, "Only half the crew escaped into the ecape pods; even then the _bastard_ started shooting them down as we fled."

"How many survivors?"

Valance sighed heavily, "About two hundred but... Maybe less. There are critically injured people who may still die of their wounds." He admitted, "We would all be dead if these fine fellows had not turned up for the meeting when they did. They returned fire on the Frigate, and beamed us aboard their ship."

Kirk stared for a moment before he snapped back to attention, "You have our thanks." He said to the Romulan Captain, "Do you want us to beam the passengers aboard the Enterprise?"

"No, they may stay while we conclude the peace talks. You, however, should focus your attention upon the Frigate that the assailant escaped with. He ship was not badly damaged because we were concentrating more on a rescue mission than a battle." He told the blond, his contempt for humanity lessening as he saw one of his kinsmen among them, a Vulcan no less.

"We will do everything in our power to capture this man. Do you know who he is? Where he went?"

At this, Captain Valance tensed, licking his lips in thought, "He was in his late forties, early fifties at the most; with a great understanding of the workings of a ship; his face was badly scarred by fire from a prior battle or situation I was unaware of. I felt as though I knew the man however I could not place a name to the face. I am now considering, however, that he may well have been the very man who tried to blow up the Head Quarters."

"John Harrison, sir?" a member of Valance's crew asked from the background, his voice stupid and unwitting.

"No you fool, can you not see that that man is stood beside Captain Kirk?!" he barked in response before he shook his head and looked back at the blond, "I fear that I brought your attacker into space, Kirk. You need to watch your steps boy."

Jim's eyes narrowed in response to the exchange, having momentarily tensed as Khan was mentioned before his concerns became real as the man was described to him; he sighed inwardly before he pulled his normal cocky grin, "Don't worry Captain! We will hunt this guy down and bring him to justice. You can count on that." He promised, "Hail us if you need any further assistance. Enterprise out." He told them before he cancelled the conversation.

Jim stared at the blank screen for a moment as he sifted through the variety of emotions he was experiencing. He was half pleased to learn that his assailant was among the stars with him, it made him feel incredibly wanted; to know that a mystery man had gone to such lengths of follow him and to get his attention. It also meant that his mother was now safer than before, there was no one left on Earth to threaten her because of him. Yet this also meant that his family were in danger, this man had already shown that he was not afraid to infiltrate the most secure of instillations, therefore the Enterprise would be no problem for him. His family were in danger.

Taking a breath and setting it all aside, Kirk allowed his famous confidence to flow through his veins as he turned to face his crew; his family, "Spock, use our long range sensors and see if you can followed a radioactive trail; the Rebellion is infamous for spurting off radioactive matter when it jumps to warp. I want it located now.

"Uhura, if you are willing I want you to beam aboard the Romulan shop to assist in their peace talks, your linguistics will come in handy I have no doubt. Hail them and ask their permission first so that you don't invade their privacy." He said, ignoring Spock's expression as the woman nodded with zeal, he pressed a button on his chair, "Scotty, get the warp core to maximum. When we move I want to be damn well fast enough to take this guy by surprise."

"You get your ass, Captain!" the man answered before cutting the call to fulfil his orders.

The blond nodded to himself and looked back out at the stars, he rested his hands on his hips as he watched Uhura dismiss herself so that she could head for the transporter room; he let out a breath and considered where he would hide if he was a felon.

Well, he had been a felon in his time, and when trouble found him he found it easiest to hide in plain sight until his followers were distracted before moving off out of sight, somewhere he could watch from.

In Khan's case, he had wanted to disappear without any of the messy chasing part, but he highly doubted that was the motive of their main. This was a man who flaunted his prowess and used it to his advantage in every scenario. This was a man with a great deal more to gain than he could lose, that could be determined by his slap-dash actions and indulgent behaviour. He didn't have a plan, he had a desire which made him even more dangerous than a man who sat back and plotted everything for days, or months, or years.

No, this was a man who would hide in plain sight, as though he wanted to be found, he wanted to be challenged and to be recognised as a prominent threat. He wanted his genius to be realised and respected, or feared. And what better way to achieve all of that than to hide in the very dust storms the Enterprise had dropped out of warp into?

He sat down in The Chair and crossed his legs, "Raise shields, we are taking this fight to him," he told his crew with certainty, this man thought the same way he did; he could respect him for that but he was still going to take him down. He checked with the transporter room to ensure that Uhura had made it safely aboard the Romulan Warbird before he nodded to Sulu, "Head for the dust clouds we arrived in. I'll bet our boy thinks he can outsmart us... Let's show him what Starfleet can do. Punch it."

He sat back as his ship leapt into warp, smirking inwardly at how well Scotty had done at boosting their speed in the short amount of time that he had given him to do so. He should never have doubted him, Scotty was a legend.

As they shot towards the clouds, he was certain that he saw movement from within, "Arm photons." He ordered.

Just before they hit the cloud, the Frigate rose from within and revealed itself to the Enterprise. Kirk's eyes narrowed as he called for them to drop out of warp; the ship shuddering slightly under duress; they came to a stop a few miles back from the Frigate.

He felt Khan at his side, and Spock at his other side; as he stood up they shadowed him and kept close by should they be needed.

"The Frigate Rebellion is hailing us, Captain." The man who had taken over Uhura's post announced.

"On screen, Lieutenant." Jim answered with a practiced calmness which was only just intact.

"Yes, sir."

For a few seconds all they could see was an empty Bridge, before abruptly a scarred face appeared on the screen out of nowhere and Jim recognised him from the screen in the HQ from the night of the party and the bomb; he also recognised him as having been the driver of the car he had chased from the city.

Sensing Spock take step back out of surprise, the Captain moved forwards, his expression set as he took in every little detail of the man before him; when Spock had contained himself he spoke.

"So, it is you," Jim sighed, "You're the same guy who planted the bomb at HQ, the same guy who planted a bomb in my apartment block; the same guy who ran me off the road; the same guy who shot my mother... I am guessing that was an accident and you were trying to hit me, or at least that is what I am hoping because if you tried to shoot her on purpose I will kill you myself." He paused, "What the _hell_ do you want?!" he barked.

"My goodness, I am surprised to see you are still alive; when I went to Winona's house and saw a man who looked like you there I didn't believe it at first, but then I began to realise that... You survived that horrific crash. I am surprised and enamoured by your ability James Kirk. You are better than I imagined you to be." The man replied, once again the voice was familiar.

Kirk tensed and balled a fist, "Last time I saw you I am pretty sure you said I was a let down... So do make up your mind." He said, "And tell me what you want from me? Why have you pursued me like this?"

"Oh but I have made up my mind and you are spectacular. Truly, you amaze me, I am so proud of you and everything you have achieved... And seeing you aboard the Enterprise, well it is a dream come true for me! I can hardly believe my eyes!"

"Well believe it! Because I have photons aimed on your little ship and if you carry this on I am going to shoot you out of the sky!" he snapped, taking a step forwards as he felt threat washing over him from the man's tone of voice.

"Calm yourself, I merely wanted to test you, to see how strong you had become... I never got to see you before..." he trailed off, a slightly glassy look appearing on his face before he chuckled, "I want revenge. On Starfleet, those fools who abandoned me to my fate as cruel and cold as it was. I was burned, burned because of them... Because they failed me... And I want revenge for that..."

"So you are taking it out on me? I have never even met you! I don't know you! Yet you have taken up this vendetta against me!" Jim cried, "You are crazy!"

"Crazy? Crazy is allowing a terrorist on your ship, crazy is choosing to whore yourself for twenty odd years to make yourself feel better about yourself, crazy is cutting yourself off from everyone who could actually matter because you can't cope with your feelings! James... You are the crazy one... Not me, and I am sorry. It is probably my fault... I should have done more. I should have been faster or stronger or better..."

Jim stared at the man before him, he couldn't understand how he knew so much about him considering they were practically strangers, he didn't like it and it made him want to flee and hide but he couldn't do it, his legs were like lead weights holding him in place.

"Who are you?" he asked finally.

"Now that is the question..." the other man breathed, "What a question indeed... I would not use my old name because I am hardly that person at all anymore, twisted and bitter because of what happened I am not... I am not... What I deserve to be. My reputation proceeds me now... As does yours... Even I am shocked by how my name has grown in time and become something of a battle cry to those with stout hearts and the courage to follow my footsteps."

"Stop talking in riddles and tell me who you are!" Jim yelled suddenly, feeling Khan's hand on his arm he pulled away from him and walked closer to the screen, his eyes turning to furious slits as he glowered at the man on the other end of the conversation, "WHO ARE YOU?!"

"I suppose I can no longer keep it from you, can I? Very well, seeing as you are so desperate to know my name I shall tell you, but I hope you are prepared for what awaits you in the wake of this. My name... My name is George Kirk."

Jim's eyes widened suddenly and his mouth went dry as he stared at the other's face, his brain attempting to process what he had heard before he realised he had stopped breathing and couldn't remember how to start doing so again. He took a step back, letting out a choked sound before he finally started to inhale and exhale regularly again.

"G... George... Kirk..." he repeated brokenly before he felt his mouth fall open slightly as his heart ached with the desire to believe his words.

"That's right James, my son, I am your father."


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you SO much for the AMAZING response to the last chapter! SO MANY REVIEWS! I was amazed!**

**So, with this Chapter I am FINALLY boosting the story to a rank 'M' for safety so buckle in my dears, smut lies ahead at long last. Yep, so get your tissues and plug your noses :P**

**Warning:**** Guy on Guy smut you have been warned!**

**Chapter Fifteen: Regulation 619:**

"That's right James, my son, I am your father."

As the words crashed over his ears, James felt as though his whole world had come crashing down around him, he had always detested being compared to the father he had never known; the father who was always so much better than him; who had saved countless live with his own heroic sacrifice. Yet the vision of this great and legendary man had inspired him to rise up ad to prove that he was worthy of being a Kirk, to prove that he could do better and live to tell the tale. He had done that several times over and wouldn't cease to do so until he was recognised with the same famous nefariousness as his father.

That was what he had thought. That was what he had aspired to do. That was what he had made his life's purpose.

He had never stopped to ask what he would do should his task crumble; should his purpose be worthless; should his dreams be nightmares. Why would he have questioned it? Everyone knew the story; everyone knew how it ended.

_George Kirk had been a Captain for all of twelve minutes when the time came for him to sacrifice himself to save over eight hundred lives, including th lives of his wife and unborn child. His deed had been his demise as the USS Kelvin had charged head long into Nero's ship, getting every missile and photon fired towards the evacuation shops with shots of his own, until the hull finally crashed headlong into the giant Romulan space craft, causing an explosion which had halted Nero's attack and led to the successful rescue of all the evacuation pods. George Kirk had died in the crash, his body lost forever to the flame and the eternal space. There had never once been a chance of survival; the Kelvin's autopilot function had been destroyed, meaning that the Captain would have to sit there and drive the ship the entire time. He could not have escaped; he should not have been able to escape. His death had been assured._

So why was the man before him claiming to be George Kirk, why was he claiming to be his war lost father? There was simply no logic to it at all. But his heard was telling him that it was true, his gut instinct was screaming at him to believe and he did. What other option did he have? He wasn't a logically based robotic style life form like Spock was; his heart cried out for the truth, and the truth... Well, the truth broke his heart.

If this man was truly George Kirk, then everything he had worked so hard to achieve had been for nothing. This was no war hero who he could challenge the name of: there was only a criminal who had butchered people for no reason. He didn't even have Khan's excuse.

"Why should I believe a word you say?" he asked his voice calmer than when he had last dared utter a sentence.

"Because you want to believe it, your heart longs to know the truth and the truth is before you. I am your father, and I can prove it to you. A simply DNA test, you can conduct it aboard your own vessel, I will send a sample of my blood in a test tube via the transporter room and you can have your friend, Doctor McCoy examine it, comparing it beside your own." He answered, sitting back in his chair.

Jim stared for a moment, glaring into the dark blue eyes before him, "Do it." He said before he cut the communication and looked at his crew, "This stays between us until certainty as been established. Sulu, take the Chair; Spock and Khan, with me." He said before he half ran up the few steps to the elevator.

He felt the pair shadow him but ignored their stares and murmurings to find out if he was mentally stable; he couldn't deal with them before his mission was over, otherwise he would crumble, and Spock could finally return the favour for when he had used Starfleet Regulation 619 against him during the assault against Nero.

_Regulation 619: The commanding officer must relieve themselves of command if their current mission leaves them emotionally compromised and unable to make rational decisions._

He was not emotionally compromised, he had been compromised when Khan had killed Pike but he had stilled commanded his ship perfectly and without irrational dictatorship. He was fine, this didn't mean anything.

He nodded to the woman on duty and ordered her to allow the transition to come through; he stared at the platform as it lit up and a phial of blood appeared. Jim walked forwards and picked it up, turning the sample over in his hand before he stormed out, half running towards Sick Bay.

As he sped through the door and pushed the phial into McCoy's hand, "Test it," he told him, clenching his teeth as he pushed his sleeve up for his friend to take a sample of his own blood, "I need to know the truth."

"Are you sure you want to do this Jim?" the Doctor asked uncertainly as he looked at the phial he was now holding.

"Please Bones, I need to know." He said, sitting on one of the beds as he waited for his blood to be taken.

McCoy hesitated and glanced at Khan and Spock before he gave in and walked over, stabbing the soft skin of his forearm with a needle before he watched the glass phial on the end slowly fill with blood. Jim watched, licking his lips anxiously as he watched as his friend disappeared with both samples; he also observed the puncture mark healing over almost instantly and he sighed inwardly at the small joys of being like Khan.

He got up off the bed as the Doctor didn't return quickly, pacing furiously around the Sick Bay and annoying several of the nurses with his mere presence more than his tedious flirting, which had subsequently lessened since his 'relationship' with Khan.

Resting a hand over his mouth, he leaned against the wall and stared out of the window thoughtfully, wondering what he was going to do regardless of the results of this paternity test. He couldn't simply blast his own father out of the sky if it came to a fight... Yet if this supposed 'George Kirk' refused to be arrested peacefully he didn't have many other options. Unless he beamed aboard the ship and... Why did it always fall to him to transport aboard these people's ships in order to solve the problem? Maybe for once he _should_ just blast someone out of the sky, at least that way it wouldn't continuously complicate his life.

Jim regretted that thought almost as soon as it had appeared in his mind, he would never have had the opportunity of falling for Khan if he had simply blasted him out of the sky. If he had blasted him out of the sky when he had attacked Starfleet HQ all those months ago he would most likely still be a man-whore who flaunted himself for the purpose of feeling better about things.

Pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling noisily, he found himself looking at the small Frigate which was carrying his... Suspected parent. Maybe he should contact his mother and warn her... No she would get upset and blubber over him, metaphorically.

Running a hand through his hair, he stalked out of the Bay suddenly, leaving Spock and Khan behind as he disappeared through the corridors of the ship and arrived promptly at his room, slipping inside and listening to the hiss of the door as it shut behind him.

He sat on the edge of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees as he dropped his head into his hands and considered the ramifications of George Kirk being alive and having turned into a criminal and terrorist. The Kirk name would be sullied, which actually didn't matter as much as he had first thought it would, however it did leave him in the precarious position of either saving or damning his father however. George Kirk had been an inspiration for many, the story of his heroics had been bedtime stories for years and if it suddenly became known that he had survived and was actually a complete asshole who had taken to destroying lives and Starfleet there would be uproar, shame, scandal and... He wasn't sure that Starfleet could survive yet _another_ scandal so soon after Admiral Marcus.

The blond jumped as someone suddenly rested a hand on his shoulder and he lifted his gaze, looking wearily at Khan whose expression was somewhere amidst concern and pity.

"Don't disappear like that, you almost gave Spock a heart attack." The dark haired male commented as he sat beside him, "Are you holding up okay?"

"What do you think?" he snapped without meaning too, looking away as he saw Khan frown in response, "I just... I don't know what to do. Spock's better side told me that... Originally my father _inspired_ me to join Starfleet and lived to see me become Captain of the Enterprise, but that was supposed to have changed because of Nero..."

"I don't understand..." he said after a moment.

Jim glanced at him and paused, "Ah, of course... We are living in an alternative reality because of something which happened years in the future. It happened like this..."

He relayed to him in detail his first mission aboard the Enterprise, leaving out no information as he told him about Nero; Spock and Spock Senior, as well as the wormhole and the reason behind the destruction of the USS Kelvin. He even told him about the night at the bar in Iowa when Pike had convinced him to join Starfleet, and he concluded by telling him about the conversation he had shared with Spock Senior when he had been marooned on Delta Vega but Spock Junior.

For his part, Khan listened very well, he asked one or two questions but otherwise remained silent and allowed Jim to run at the mouth; absorbing every piece of data to be processed later on.

"So you are saying that the events pertaining to Spock Senior and Romulus's destruction led to the creation of an alternative reality into which both he and this Nero character fell? And in so doing it created an al new sense of reality different to what would have and should have happened?" he said after a moment.

"Exactly, in the time Spock Senior is from, I joined Starfleet because of my father's influence, yet in our reality I joined Starfleet because I was persuaded by Christopher Pike in the aftermath of a bar brawl, just one of many I should point out," he shook his head, "But the reality which I had become accustom to has suddenly been turned on its head all over again but this... Suddenly the man who was meant to be dead is alive and he _has_ lived to see me become a Captain. It isn't... Supposed to be this way and I have no clue what to do!"

Khan sighed softly and put an arm around him, "You need to follow your gut instinct like you always do. That is my advice for you. What would you do if this man was not your father?"

"I would go over there and kick his ass." He said.

A chuckle escaped the other, "I am sure you would, so why not do that anyway?"

"Because it is delicate. The guy inspired a whole generation! If it suddenly came to light that he was alive it would ruin it all... Not to mention the effect it would have on Starfleet..." he sighed and rubbed his forehead in thought.

"So, find a compromise. Find a way to deal with his crimes without interfering with the natural course of things."

"Oh if it was that easy." Jim scoffed and stood up, running a hand down his face.

"It _is_ that easy." Khan protested, unaware the effect his words would have.

Kirk spun around and looked at him, "MAYBE THIS ISN'T COMPUTING FOR YOU... THAT GUY COULD BE MY LONG LOST FATHER AND HE HAS SUDDENLY TUNED INTO A TERRORIST WHO TRIED TO KILL ME FOUR TIMES!" he roared, "AND YOU WANT ME TO BE LOGICAL ABOUT IT! YOU ARE AS BAD AS SPOCK!"

"I am merely trying to assist you in sorting your head out James." The other said, forcing back his own anger in the acknowledgement that it would be detrimental for both of them to fall prey to temper.

"DAMN SORTING MY HEAD OUT! IF I WANT TO BE RATIONAL I'LL PUT SPOCK IN CHARGE!" he yelled, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND YOU... YOU'RE SITTING THERE LOOKING LIKE MISTER-BLOODY-PERFECT EXPECTING ME TO KNOW THE ANSWERS! WELL I AM SORRY KHAN BUT WE AREN'T ALL AS INTELLIGENT AS YOU ARE!"

"Stop shouting at me James, I am not to blame for what is happening here," he tried to reason, getting to his feet and walking towards him, "I am just trying to help."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" Jim bellowed, without thinking he lashed out and slammed his fist into the other's face, hissing as his knuckles buckled under the impact of the man's hard face, only to heal moment later.

Khan was capable of being reasonable, but seriously, he never sat back while someone attacked him regardless of their connection to him. He grabbed the other's fist as it flew at him again and sidestepped, twisting his arm up behind his back, only to have his foot slam mercilessly into his knee and forcing him to the floor. They fell into a clash of messy blows, both unable to really get a hold on one and other since they were now much more matched in their strength and speed, as well as their natural ability and experience.

As frustrated and angry as they were both getting the tension between them brought them to a standstill as they fell into an abusive trail of forceful kisses and touches which left almost as many bruises as their squabble.

Settled on the floor, Jim found himself pinned under the other's larger body as their mouths met in heated flurries of kisses and tongue fighting. Neither of them was over shy about biting or playing dirty and before long a little blood came to play from the forceful nips they employed on each other's lips and tongues.

Hands roamed and articles of clothing went everywhere without any accordance or order. Jim felt himself stir as they continued touching and exploring each others' body and he had a thought at the very back of his mind that he highly doubted even Spock would stop them this time.

His face flushed as his legs were hoisted up and he arched his back, letting out a moan as they pressed against one and other shamelessly, he dragging his hands through Khan's hair, pulling him closer and kissing him with franticness and deepness.

Khan, for his part, was unravelling just as much as Jim was, his usually pale skin was gently tinged with redness as he ground his hips into those of his lover, rocking their dually hardened members together without hesitation, finally laying his hands over every inch of the blissfully taut skin beneath him, watching his reactions and smirked triumphantly as he watched Kirk's pupils dilate in desire.

Neither of them were in the mood to wait anymore, Jim's back arched and he let out a surprised moan into the other's mouth as he felt him press one of his long fingers into him with a deliberate slowness intended to drive him crazy.

A whimper was regretfully extracted from him as the digit proceeded to curl and find his prostate in one go, causing him to writhe and cry out as a pleasant zing of pleasure shot through him, adding further pressure to his already aching nether regions. The entrance of his second finger was just as torturous, if not more so because he knew it was coming; he was let moaning and panting as Khan teased him with delicate kisses along his neck, as his breath ghosted over his ear and sent heat pooling in the pit of his belly.

Curling his fingers repeatedly, Khan ensured to drive Jim to the brink, biting down hard on his neck suddenly as he decided to try and make a contest out of who could mark who for the longest amount of time before they healed.

When it appeared James could take it no more, Khan pulled his hand back and leaned over him, pressing his hands against the floor either side of his lover's head, Khan eased into him fully, groaning out loudly as he felt his muscles tightening around him in response to the intrusion.

They both moaned; Kirk was gasping through it, trying to grow accustom to the pleasant invasion curling his legs around his waist and pulling him closer and deeper at the same time. He let out a cry as he forced his lover's hardness deeper into his nerves, zings of pure bliss firing up and down his spine as he arched beneath him and pulled him into a heated kiss again.

As Khan started moving at a constant rate, the heat between them grew and grew, the speed picking up as he began to piston in and out of his body, both of them crying out and moaning out loud as they met between groans in heated and wet kisses, Jim's fingers leaving angry marks down Khan's back from his nails which continually healed only to be replaced by new ones as his toes curled and the pressure built.

Legs were forced up over shoulders and arms were pinned on the ground as the pace turned brutal, pounding, and thrusting with force behind each movement, cries growing louder and more pitched as the end drew near.

Jim wailed suddenly as his back bowed and he pressed against his lover, looking at him through his lashes as he reached his peak, his climax hitting him harder than it had ever done so before as his muscles went into spasm and he spilled between them, feeling Khan's release following his own only moments later as the dark haired male groaned his name in his ear, sending flutters through his heart.

As they came down from their euphoric high, the realisation of their actions appeared, and as they both lay sprawled on the floor of Jim's room they found themselves staring at each other, their expressions calmer, and their heart rates in sync as they mastered their breathing and steadily calmed down.

"Well... Was a long time coming." Khan said after a moment as he turned onto his side and cupped the blonds' cheek.

"I would have to agree." Jim breathed, reaching out as he rested his hand against the other's chest, resting it over his heart, "Sorry for yelling like that I-"

He silenced him with a tender kiss, "Shh... Don't worry. I don't care about that, I care about you James."

Blushing slightly, he cleared his throat, "Well... Thanks. I... I care about you... As well..."

They shared a deep kiss, becoming entwined with one and other before they were interrupted by the buzz of the intercom system.

"Jim, get back down here, I have your blood results. Damn it man, I'm a Doctor not a miracle worker, you owe me big time for this." Bones's platonic voice came over and made them both laugh before they sobered at the thought of the blood results.

"No matter what happens James, it will not change how anyone here feels about you. Just remember that." Khan told him as they slowly pulled apart and began to get dressed.

"I know... I don't even know what outcome I am hoping for to be honest. I don't know what the best is anymore, so it is a case of dealing with what comes." He decided, straightening his yellow jumper before he paused and held his hand out boldly for him, "Come on, let's go."

Khan hesitated and raised an eyebrow before he smiled and took his hand without hesitation, "To whatever comes."

"Yeah, whatever comes." He agreed before they walked out together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the wonderful abundance of reviews you have been sending in, they are all very appreciated and I love getting them. And here, in this chapter, the result of the paternity test. Enjoy!**

**Also, if any of you are Kirk/Spock fans I have just put up a new story called Dark In My Mind, please check it out and let me know what you think :3**

**Chapter Sixteen: Betrayal of My Confidence :**

Time seemed to have stopped for him, all the waiting and watching, the pain and the self-taught rehabilitation had been for this moment, the first of many to come. He just had to wait a little longer and he would meet him on an equal footing for the first time.

He did not consider himself to be evil, or in the wrong for that matter, everything he had done had been for the purpose of teaching Starfleet what happened when they left one of their own to die.

Oh he still remembered it, the screaming and the burning, the smoke and the feeling of weightlessness. He remembered every detail, it was forever etched under his eyelids, and into his face and body. It had been a shock at first to see James Kirk, he looked so... Perfect, exactly what he had always wanted. But it was like looking into a shattered mirror, on one side where where he was stood, scarred and dark while on the other side this pure bright light shone through with honour and nobility. Both of which he had lost since that day. Nero had stolen that from him, as had Starfleet. He could never forget; a single reflection was enough to remind him and reignite the fury in his blood.

"_Collision in 4.65 seconds."_

"_Collision alert."_

"_Collision in 4.64 seconds."_

_Collision alert"_

"_Collision in 4.63 seconds."_

"_Collision-"_

_He gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the constant count down the artificial intelligence unit was providing and sat back, setting his phaser down he sat forwards, looking at the approaching Romulan ship as he steered the USS Kelvin towards its hull. The sound of his new born son echoed so vividly in his mind, even though his connection to Winona's ship had been severed by the turbulence and the malfunctioning electronics as the Starship tore itself apart piece by piece._

_Dropping his head into his hands he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long breath, making a sudden sound of surprise as he saw something of interest on the floor between his feet. Sliding off the Chair he picked it up and held it to the light pouring through the slightly cracked main screen; his eyes widened with surprise and he instantly set to work on what could be the mightiest of his achievements yet._

"_Autopilot reengaged." The AI's voice announced suddenly._

_An exuberant laugh escaped him suddenly and he lifted his gaze, seeing the distance left between himself and the Romulan ship before he turned on his heel and sprinted from the Bridge as fast as his legs would carry him._

"_Collision in 3.45 seconds."_

"_Collision alert."_

"_Collision in 3.44 seconds."_

"_I'll give you a bloody collision yet you annoying woman." He muttered as he ran down the corridors, leaping over a fallen body on his trip; he saw many more of his former friends and colleagues fallen and crumpled, already dead from the dwindling oxygen reserves or the initial explosions fired from the Romulan ship._

_He half skidded as he finally found himself in the evacuation bay, he jogged forwards and almost fell as someone's hand wrapped around his ankle and tried to pull him back; his head snapped around and he faltered as he saw the former Chief Medical Officer, his lower body was completely severed and lingered several foot away, and he was bleeding heavily from a gaping wound in his head._

"_Damnit." He breathed, wrestling free and crouched down, resting a hand on the man's shoulder, "Virgil? Don't worry... I won't leave you... Its gonna be okay."_

"_Y... You... You..." he rasped in response, his eyes rolling in his head._

"_Yes, it is me... It is me. Try to stay calm, we're going to get you out of here my old friend, just stay calm alright, Virgil listen to... Listen to..." he trailed off as he saw that his eye had turned glassy and his breathing had stopped, "God damnit..."_

_He closed his eyes for a moment before he swallowed hard and stood back up slowly, there was nothing he could do, Virgil was already dead and even if he had gotten him out he would have died from his injuries, the man had known it, the look in his eyes..._

_A sudden loud hissing drew his attention and he looked around, everything seemed to slow down as a ripple of heat washed over him, followed by a wall of fire which blasted him backwards into the wall and left his skin sizzling as he released a scream of pain as he was engulfed in the blaze._

_The world was spinning and his ears were ringing; when he finally realised the fire had abated and it was his mind alone which continued to envisage the burning. His face and torso were scorching and they felt hot, it hurt like hell and he couldn't see very well, he felt like he was gasping for breath with each time he inhaled._

_Slowly picking himself up off the floor, he hunched over as the pain exploded within him again and he lifted his hand to his face, meeting the feeling of mottled and peeling skin under his fingers he felt his eyes sting before the sound of the collision alert once again roused him and forced him onwards._

_There was one escape pod left and he got into it, closing the doors behind him before he staggered to the pilot seat and climbed into it, punching the launch button and shooting out from the back of the ship just as the timer ran out._

_What felt like hours later, he set the pod to autopilot before he swayed into the back of the pod so that he could begin treating his injuries. Cold water and a pile of cloths came to mind as he began placing them over his face and torso to cool the burns and lessen the pain._

_He looked around as his sensors picked up the use of a Warp Core, and his heart jumped into his throat at the thought of being rescued so quickly; finishing his treatment he hurried back into the pilot area and looked out of the windscreen for any signs of a Starship coming to his rescue._

_He blinked and leaned forwards a little more as in the distance he saw a trickle of the other escape pods immersing a small but no less helpful Frigate. As the pods were given access to the ship, he could see the Warp Core lighting up and his mouth fell open as he watched the ship disappear from sight, leaving him alone and floating aimlessly through the darkness._

_Sitting back slowly, he swallowed hard and looked down, his shoulders slumping as he faced the realisation that he had escaped that hellhole of a death trap ship only to be abandoned to die out here instead._

_They'd left him. Abandoned him. Deserted and betrayed him. They had his son and wife but he was alone. Lost and injured with a high chance of infection and death. This was their fault. Starfleet... The Federation... It was their fault..._

"Hmm..." he looked up suddenly, "I'm being hailed?" he said to himself before he pressed a button to allow the call through on screen, his eyes widening slightly as he saw his doppelganger of a son on the other end, apparently using a private channel that was away from the Bridge.

"I have the test results." Jim said coolly, "I want to come aboard, I think we need a chat don't you?"

"I would have to agree. Will your pet dogs let you come though?"

"Not alone, I'm bringing one other person with me. Is that acceptable?"

"Of course however you want to do this." He answered almost eagerly.

Jim's face seemed to tighten before he nodded, "Give me ten minutes and I will be there."

"Okay."

-/-

James closed his eyes as he ended the conversation and he glanced over his shoulder at Bones, Spock and Khan; they were all sat down waiting for him to do something distinctly Jim-like considering his almost icy silence.

_As Khan and Jim entered the Sick Bay they automatically released each other's hand, apparently sharing a conscious thought that now was not the time to give Spock an aneurysm; they moved towards the Vulcan and the Doctor, both of whom were poring over a set of results._

"_What have you got for me Bones?" he asked, slapping his hand down on the desk to rouse his two friends from their revere._

_The Doctor lifted his gaze sharply and gathered up the results, "Alright... Well I rushed the test through; even ran it myself twice to make sure I was right the first time..."_

"_Yes, and what did it say?" Jim asked._

"_Well it isn't just that simple okay? Like I said I had to run the test twice so that I could be certain; it did leave very little room for error but I am almost 99% certain that the final result is correct and..."_

"_Bones... Come on man, just tell me." The blond said, smiling weakly in hopes of a good answer._

_The other hesitated for a long moment before he sighed, "It was a positive match Jim. The result showed that he is George Kirk and... And he is your father."_

James turned towards them slowly, licking his lips as a torrent of emotion washed over him all at once and he walked over, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Bones... Stop worrying about it. I know the truth now and... I am relieved. Now I know what I have to do."

"And what is that Captain?" Spock asked from beside the Doctor, his face an impasse of never revealed emotion.

"What I normally do," he answered, pulling his phaser out and checking that it was set to stun, "Kick his ass. Spock I need you to... I need you to help me without being an ass about it."

"I'm sorry?" the Vulcan said with a quirked eyebrow.

The blond swallowed, "I need you to take command of the ship, and I need you to promise me you will look after her."

"Captain?"

"No Spock... I'm not the Captain now... You are." He said, reaching out and resting a hand on the Vulcan's shoulder, "I am going aboard the Rebellion. And Khan is coming with me."

"I am?" the superhuman asked in surprise.

"Yeah... I'm going to need help and Spock has always proven to be an asset as a Captain in tight situations. Whereas I need you at my side over there. Will you come with me?"

"You don't even need to ask." The dark haired man answered with a flitter of a smile.

"Captain I must protest... This is undoubtedly what he planned from the very beginning." Spock objected.

Jim turned to his friend and smiled at him weakly, "Then who am I to disappoint him?" he asked, "Promise me you won't tell anyone about the paternity until I get back." He added, swallowing as he received two nods from Spock and Bones in answer, he breathed his thanks.

Kirk turned away slowly and slotted his phaser back in place before he pulled his yellow shirt off, leaving himself clad in only his black undershirt. He dumped the yellow jumper on the counter before he left the Sick Bay, ignoring Spock and Bones's calling after him.

Khan watched him go before he turned to the other two, "You have my word that I will keep him safe to the best of my ability."

"You had better." Bones growled, waving a rather large needle in his face threateningly, "Because if he _dies_... You'll be joining him."

"If he dies I would want to." He said simply before he looked a Spock, receiving a nod in response. He guessed that was a sign of respect and trust; he nodded back before he discarded his scarlet jumper alongside Jim's yellow one before he ran out after the blond.

By the time he caught up, Jim was already stood on one of the transportation plates and was ready to go, providing the man on duty with the coordinates they required as Khan stepped onto the beside his and prepared himself.

"Khan..." the blond said softly, looking at him slowly.

"Yes James?" he offered a supportive smile.

"I lo..." he paused and stared at him for a moment before he cleared his throat, "Thanks for coming with me."

Khan frowned slightly, he was certain that had not been what Jim was going to say, but he decided to play along, "I wouldn't have had it any other way."

The blond nodded awkwardly before he looked towards the control panel, "Beam us across." He ordered.

"Yes Captain!"

Blinded by the light from the transporter beam, Khan closed his eyes momentarily, only opening them again when he felt a gentle touch on his arm; he looked around to see Jim and himself were surrounded by a completely different set of surroundings. The surroundings of the Frigate Rebellion.

"Welcome aboard." A voice said from behind them.

Khan and Jim turned on the spot slowly and found themselves facing the burned terrorist; Jim took a step forwards, "Hello... Dad."


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the amazing support you have all given this story, it means so much to me! I hope you enjoy the chapter, I am aiming for a bit of angst here so *fingers crossed***

**Chapter Seventeen: Fighting, Fail and Fatigue:**

Spock stepped onto the Bridge and was greeted by Chekov's usual drone; he walked forwards and took to The Chair, which he had come to miss since his placement as First Officer, yet he could not deny that he would rather be First Officer to Jim than anything else the world could offer, and it was a duty he relished.

"Captain Kirk has beamed aboard the enemy vessel with Khan to talk to the felon directly, as of yet we have no proof concerning the identity of the man aboard that ship and it would be appreciated by all parties if speculation and gossip could be kept to a minimum." Vulcans could not lie, but he was half human, and in this scenario he figured he could merely pray to his Gods for forgiveness at a later date; at that moment Jim needed him more.

"Was it safe to send them over there? We have no idea about the mental stability of this... Man." Sulu inquired without taking his eyes off the controls in front of him.

"No, most likely it is reckless and risky, however this is the Captain's fight, and I think we all need to respect his wishes on this occasion. Besides, he has Khan next to him and I know that he will not allow harm to befall him." The Vulcan answered in a slightly more tender tone than people were used to, yet they all agreed with his statement.

-/-

Jim sat down opposite George Kirk, none of it felt like he had expected it to. He had expected to feel blinding rage and murderous intent towards the man, yet he felt very little in all honesty, perhaps some touch of curiosity and interest, but where he thought he would feel anger he felt only surprise and tolerance.

Licking his lips in thought, the blond sat forwards, resting his elbows on his knees as he ran his hands down his face, "This is not as easy as I thought it would be. I thought I would come over here and shoot you with a stun phaser before hauling you back and throwing you in prison. At worst I expected to want to kill you for trying to kill me..."

"I didn't try to kill you, I wanted to make you stronger." he answered instantly, "My methods were harsh and violent, but I wanted to know what you could cope with, what you could survive. I have to admit I thought you had died in the road accident."

"Lucky for you I have a talented friend," Jim glanced at Khan who was sat beside him tense and ready to move at a moment's notice, "Who saved me. I am stronger than I was, faster too... I could break your neck with a twitch of my fingers if I wanted to."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because I..." he paused and shook his head, "I don't know. I guess I want answers and I want to know... Why it took you so long to find me... You could have come back and rescued Mum from that God awful marriage she got herself into..."

George frowned and looked down, "I tried to, but it was too late. In all honesty I was surprised by how quickly she remarried after my 'death' but... There was nothing I could do about it. I was meant to be dead and gone, it was her choice to make not mine."

"So where were you all this time?" he asked, "I was always told you had died defending your crew... Eight hundred lives were saved because of you... Because of your sacrifice and I have spent my life trying to live up to that!"

"You're angry?"

"Of course I am angry!" he snapped, "I thought all this time that my father was a great and noble man, he gave his life to protect the people who mattered and he died doing what he loved. But now I find out that he is nothing more than a disgusting murderer!"

"Yet you hold another murderer in such high regard." His father commented, nodding towards Khan, "I was in London when he blew up that instillation."

"He has a name." Jim growled, "Khan had his reasons for the things that he did, he had _very_ good reasons for it which can't be disputed by someone who has no right to do so!"

"James," Khan breathed, resting a hand on his arm, "Calm down, you're doing no one any favours by getting angry; in fact I think that is what he wants you to do. We all become irrational when angry, you do not want to act impulsively."

The blond took a breath, glaring at his father before he looked at Khan, "I cannot sit back while he insults you..."

"Then allow me to answer the accusations put to me, I am old enough and bad enough to answer for myself although I understand entirely your need to protect me." The dark haired male told him, smiling faintly.

"I... Alright..." he let out a breath and sat back, still glowering at George's smug expression.

"I am a murderer, a terrorist and I am better at it than you were," Khan told him with a superior smirk finding its way onto his lips, "You are motivated by revenge for something that was never Starfleet's fault, whereas I had a legitimate reason for my crimes. Starfleet had committed several sins against me and my family, first of all by taking them from me."

"You brag about your achievements as though you are proud of them, I am sure many people would be disgusted to hear you speak that way." George countered, raising an eyebrow and looking at Jim.

"Don't look at me like that, I support Khan," the blond snorted, "I will never hold with murder, but I understand why he did do what he did, Starfleet was so corrupt and bent that it could probably have kissed its own ass if it had tried and people needed to see that, although it was not his plan Khan exposed that corruption and helped cure it. His methods were violent and bitter, but they were made with a pure heart and consideration for his family. I would have done the same thing for my family."

"Thank you James," Khan smiled slightly before he looked at George again, "My murdering days were dark and evil, I cared for no one except my crew and I destroyed anyone who stood in my way. I led to the death of your own son. My attack on the Enterprise after James assisted me in gaining control of the USS Vengeance led to the dislodging of the Warp Core, which James then went and kicked back into place, exposing himself to agonising levels of radioactivity and death. It was by the grace of whatever God was listening that my superior blood was able to irradiate his cells and heal him because otherwise..." he trailed off slowly and glanced down before he looked at the blond slowly, his eyes full of remorse.

Ignoring his father's gaze, Jim reached out and rested his hand over Khan's entwining their fingers shamelessly; he smiled supportively to show him that he held no ill will towards him in response to his words.

"You are... Together?" George asked suddenly, looking at their hands and their gazes.

"Yes." Jim answered instantly without taking his eyes off Khan's face.

"You are sleeping with a terrorist? With a cold blooded killer? And you think it wise?" he mocked.

The blond stood up slowly and turned to face his father, walking towards him before he reached out with his superior strength and gripped his face in his hand, "I hold Khan in the _highest_ of regard. He has proven several times over his worth to me and his feelings in the same breath. My choices are my own and you lose the right to have an opinion on them the moment you tried to kill me, because regardless of your 'reasons' for doing it you still tried to kill me. You are not my father. I never had a father, the closest I came was Captain Christopher Pike, he taught me to respect myself and he was the one who convinced me to join Starfleet, I held him in the highest of regards as well. You are _nothing_ to me!"

George's eyes widened momentarily before they narrowed and his expression changed to one of malice, "Then you are no better than Starfleet. I was wrong to extend the hand of friendship to you. You're nothing more than an insolent little brat." He spat.

A cry of pain erupted in the room, and Jim staggered back, coughing up blood as his hand moved to his abdomen where he had just been stabbed by a six inch long blade his father had been concealing the entire time they had been talking. Blood pumped from the wound and he crumpled, being caught by Khan just moments before he hit the floor.

"AND YOU CALL ME A MONSTER!" the dark haired male roared, "THIS IS YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!"

"Not anymore." George breathed, checking the blade over before he put it away and walked towards the control panel, tapping a couple of buttons before the engines fired up and without warning the photons fired from the hull, barraging into the Enterprise and shattering her shields in next to no time.

The superior human looked down at Jim and pressed his hand against the wound, "James it will be fine, the wound will heal momentarily. Try not to panic." He said certainly.

"Don't be so sure fool." The burned man sneered from the controls.

"What?"

"I said... Don't be so sure." George glanced over his shoulder and smirked a little darkly, "Did you think I had not done my research? I was head of the science division for years; did you think something as tricky as a little antidote to the effects of blood related genetic mutation would be difficult for me?"

Khan stared for a moment before his eyes began to widen as the realisation of what he was saying washed over him and he swore, pressing a little harder on the stab wound to try and stop it bleeding so heavily. Jim's face as pale and clammy, he was shaking slightly from the cold; pulling him closer into his chest, Khan attempted to share his own body heat with him to help, his mouth going dry with worry before he looked up and saw fire rising from the Enterprise.

'_Spock cannot return fire on a ship carrying his Captain...'_ he realised in a heartbeat, _'The __**stupid**__ Vulcan is more sentimental than he pretends to be! Damnit Spock... Set aside your admiration for your Captain and consider the lives of the people around you!'_

Dropping his gaze again, Khan felt his heart thundering painfully in helplessness; he so despised being helpless, it removed his control and his power from the situation and made him as weak and defenceless as a mere mortal. Emotion did that. Feelings did that. James had once told him that his emotions allowed him to reach greater heights of power because they spurred him on... But in this scenario they did nothing but hinder.

He didn't know what to do, the blood had to be transfused in order for it to work, and simply making him drink it or something similar would have no effect at all.

He didn't know what to do. The body resting against his was getting colder by the second and his breathing was shaking and wavering with the pain and the shock.

He didn't know what to do. James Tiberius Kirk was dying in his arms and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

-/-

Spock let out a gasp as he was strapped into the Captain's chair, the ship shuddering violently as they were struck by another photon fired from the Frigate Rebellion. He didn't know what was happen or why, but he knew that the Captain would never allow anyone to fire upon his ship, relative or not.

So did that mean that both Jim and Khan had been taken captive by George? Or did it mean... Something more sinister?

He had faith in Khan, at least a little more than he had done before, he knew that the man would not deceive Jim no matter what so they would fall together, or they would betray Starfleet together. And considering Jim's dedication to his family, he knew that betrayal was not likely. So that only left the idea that they had both fallen-

No... No they wouldn't fall: they were too strong to fall so easily. He had to believe in them both, and despite his hatred towards Khan he wanted to believe that he was still alive because if Khan was alive then so was the Captain. If Khan was dead... He knew the Captain would not be far behind him.

He has seen the subtle exchanges of looks and touches between them, he had walked in on the not so subtle exchanges as well; he knew that they cared for one and other more than he was happy for them to do, but he also knew that Jim had brought out the best in Khan, and in substitution, Khan had brought out the best in Jim.

They were lovers, and they were in love. He could see it in the way they looked at one and other when they thought the other was not looking. But he had been; the twinkle in their eyes and the skip in their steps had told him everything.

Ashamed as though he was to admit, he still knew very little about Jim in comparison to someone like Doctor McCoy who had been the Captain's roommate and only friend at the Academy in San Francisco. He knew little of Jim's younger years except that he was a boy-genius, not dissimilar to himself, and that he had been isolated and without many friends. That explained his massive personality, whereas it explained Spock's cold shoulder effect.

Looking down slightly, the Vulcan sucked in a breath, gripping the arms of his chair again as the ship shook violently, a large crack appearing in the ceiling before he swore in Vulcan and looked at Sulu, "Charter an evacuation course, we need to pull back."

"Aye, aye Captain." The man responded, his hands flying over the controller as speed before the ship began to shift out of the path of the photons.

Spock looked towards the Frigate, he willed himself to return fire on the blasted ship, but he couldn't do it... His Captain was on that ship, his friend was on that ship. Closing his eyes he sent a silent prayer to the Vulcan Gods, wherever they might be, and prayed for some good to come out of it all.


	18. Chapter 18

**Well, this was written fast! I didn't expect to finish it for a few days but I was inspired! This chapter is completely dedicated to memory sequences all concerning Jim. I wanted to show you a bit of what MY Jim was like in the past, I wanted to give him my own little stamp of uniqueness.**

**Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews! I hope you enjoy this little flashback!**

**Chapter Eighteen: The Memoirs of James T Kirk:**

"_Jim, sweetheart, you had better get your ass down those stairs or there will be trouble! You can't be late today or your lecturers will skin you alive!" Winona yelled from the bottom of the stair case, holding her son's college bag in one hand and a plate of toast in the other as she waited for him to finally get in gear._

_When she received no answer she growled under her breath and set the plate and bag down, venturing up the stairs as she balled a fist in annoyance at his continually unimpressive behaviour._

_Goodness knows why he was such hard work, but since hitting thirteen he had been an absolute monster. Okay, since he had hit eight he had been a monster but recently he was completely uncontrollable. She had always dreaded the teenage years and now he was in them (or more like half way through them) she was struggling to make him understand right from wrong and her bank balance certainly showed that. What with the number of times she had been forced to bail him out of a prison cell for stealing or vandalism, or violence. Who knew where his violent streak came from?!_

_It had been just three days since his eighteenth birthday, not that it mattered much as he seemed to loath celebrating it anyway, and he had been drinking and doing... All sorts before the legal age. It was just a number to him, a number, and a slip of paper saying he had an apartment ready and waiting for him to move into whenever he was ready._

_Her little boy was leaving home, flying the nest, or making his own nest, whatever you wanted to call it. And despite the difficulties of the past years she was going to miss him like hell._

_Winona knocked twice, loudly on his bedroom door and waited for a response before she sighed heavily and twisted the door handle, pushing the door open and stepping into his (shockingly) tidy bedroom._

_Clothes were discarded on the floor near the bed, which was unusual as he usually put them away or in the washing basket; that was when she saw two sets of underwear and her stomach twisted as she had a good inclination as to why his bed was so lumpy._

_Steadying herself, the exasperated woman strode over and yanked the covers down off them both; her eyes almost popping out of her head as she saw her adorable son curled up in the arms of another man._

_She shrieked, "JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK!"_

-/-

_The sun was setting over the sandy expanse of the Iowan horizon, throwing up brilliant shades of purple, pink, orange, and pastel blue into the darkening sky. It would be dark soon; the stars and the planets would be revealed upon the midnight canvas of magnanimous space._

_Lying back on the patchy brown ground outside his mother's house, Jim rested his hands behind his head and stared vacantly up at the wondrous beauty before him. Certainly, such a scene was more attractive than the curves of a woman's body or the contours of a man's fine figure, although they came as a close second._

_He so desired to be among those stars, hidden and free; space was such a liberal place, where anything could happen beyond the boundaries of human consideration. He longed to be unbound, unconstructed by the categories of nature and society; he longed for disorganisation and untamed by those around him who held the chains of civilization._

_In space he could be anyone, he could do anything, beyond the borders of imagination and out there: on the final frontier. Anything was possible, and maybe one day he would be lucky enough to venture where no man had ever gone before. It was a cheap dream to be sure, now a day everyone was going off, and joining Starfleet; they all wanted the same vision, the same outcome, and the same pay packet. He didn't care about the money; he cared about the adventure, the journey._

_Maybe he just wanted to be a better person._

_His attention was drawn by the sound of footsteps; he sat up slowly as he saw the very same young man his mother had found him in bed with just days earlier walking towards him; he offered a smile._

"_Hey John," he offered, watching as the dark haired male took a seat beside him, "You... Don't look so good. What's wrong?" he asked._

"_My folks found out about... Us," he sighed, his piercing blue eyes meeting Jim's deep sea ones, "They weren't happy... And..."_

_Swallowing uncertainly, he faltered slightly, "And what? John?"_

"_I'm sorry Jim," he ran a hand down his face and hugged his knees, resting his chin on them as he stared blindly at the sky and the desert, "They're sending me off to join Starfleet, I guess they think it will get it out of my system or something."_

"_W-What?!" he exclaimed, "T... They can't do that!"_

"_They can... And they have," he looked down, "I don't have any say in the matter; when I tried to refuse they just... They wouldn't listen."_

"_Run away, we can go together. We'll just go, they'll never find us and none of it will matter..." he trailed off as he saw the hopelessness in his eyes, "You can't leave me..."_

"_I don't want to Jim, when we slept together I meant what I said... I wanted us to be together for a long time to come but I... I don't have any choice... I'm so sorry... I just came to say goodbye." He reached out and cupped the blonds' cheek, forcing a very weak smile, "... I'll never forget you Jim."_

_They met in a brief kiss before John ran his fingers through Jim's hair and pulled back taking his hand and resting his watch in his hand, a token for him to remember him by in the years to come, and taking one last long look at him; then he got to his feet and walked away without looking back, knowing that if he did he would never be able to leave._

_1 month later:_

_James rested the newspaper down on the dining room table and ran a hand down his face slowly, unsure how he should react as he saw the headline and a picture beneath it; he sat back and hung his head as his eyes stung, resting his head in his hands as he sucked in several breaths to stop himself hyperventilating as his heart froze like ice, clenching and spasming painfully in his chest as his eyes burned with unshed tears._

_**John Harrison: Starfleet Cadet killed in bar brawl: aged eighteen from Iowa**_

-/-

_Sitting down heavily in one of the chairs in the Daystrom Conference room at Head Quarters, Jim ruffled his already tousled hair and shared a glance with his newly assigned Captain, Christopher Pike before he rolled his eyes and shared a glare with Spock from over the other side of the room._

_He couldn't believe Spock couldn't understand the meaning of a friendship, his future did, damnit! It was so irksome! He felt like he was running backwards on a treadmill at high speed._

_Barely listening to a word Admiral Marcus was saying, he instead fiddled with the security photos which had been brought up on the PADD in front of him, he tilted his head as he zoomed in on the terrorist, scoffing as he saw how much alike he seemed to a man he had known once upon a time._

"_In Harewood's confession he names the man who he was working for; his name is John Harrison. Formerly a member of Starfleet who has now gone rogue, he orchestrated the attack on the Kelvin Memorial Archive and is the reason for the forty-two deaths."_

_Jim's head snapped up as that particular piece of dialogue filtered into his ears and his eyes widened as that voice rang in his ears; he looked at the image of the terrorist again and zoomed in a little closer, they did look familiar but there was no way..._

_No, the terrorist was _not_ John Harrison, at least not the one he had been acquainted with... A sinking feeling pooled in his stomach and he sighed heavily as feelings he had long since shut away bubbled to the surface; it was at that moment he noticed the bag 'John Harrison' was carrying._

-/-

_Jim leaned against the counter in Bones's office, "Yeah, it is nothing really important just something which has been annoying me, you know earlier on you said that there were no records for anyone by the name of John Harrison? Are you... Absolutely certain Bones?"_

"_I checked and doubled checked, but I could have missed something; I am a Doctor not an archivist after all," he shrugged before noticing the look on his friend's face, "But I am pretty sure. Why?"_

"_Because it is a lie." He said softly._

"_What do you mean?"_

_Rubbing his forehead, Jim stood straight, "Back in Iowa when I was eighteen I had a... A friend called John Harrison, he left to join Starfleet and a week after his induction he was killed in a brutal attack on a bar brawl. He was a Cadet; he should have been on record."_

_McCoy stared for a moment, "There was no John Harrison on record Jim, I promise you, I could not find a single one."_

_Nodding slowly he rested his hands on his hips, "I understand Bones, thanks man." He clapped the man on the shoulder before he walked out._

_It didn't take long for him to reach the Brig and when he got there he dismissed the other crew members present; opening a link to the cell their prisoner was being held in._

"_So, why do you have the name John Harrison, if it isn't your name at all?" he demanded, resting his hands on his hips again, "And I want a straight answer, just remember where you are."_

"_I am well aware of where I am, _Captain_ Kirk." The terrorist drawled in response, "It was not my choice, had it been I would have retained my own name rather than taking a new one."_

"_Right yeah, I forgot, you're called Khan," he nodded and licked his lips, "So who _did_ chose the name?"_

"_Marcus."_

_Jim licked his lips, "That would make sense then..." he paused and sniffed, "Did he alter the records?"_

"_Sorry?" Khan arched an eyebrow at him._

"_You heard me!" he snapped, "The records of members of Starfleet, was it him who altered them... Or was it you?"_

"_No, no Marcus did that. Why? How do you know he changed them?"_

"_Because I knew John Harrison, and I know he joined Starfleet before being killed." He spat, "And that son-of-a-bitch used his name and gifted it upon a terrorist who has destroyed and belittled that man's memory!"_

"_I am what I am because of Marcus, do not tarnish me with such a broad category, I am a terrorist at the moment because it suited him for me to be one. I am sorry if the name of your 'friend' was harmed by that but there are bigger things at stake. What are you going to do? Hit me again?"_

"_Don't tempt me." He growled before he shot him a filthy look and stalked out, his temper bubbling as he thumbed the watch in his pocket, a long since immortalised token of courtship which he couldn't bring himself to part with, no matter how many years passed._

_-/-_

"_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... That is the motto I live by. That and the believe that there is no such thing as a no-win scenario." Jim told Khan as he leaned against the bottom of the hospital bed, "I can't help it, its the way I have always lived."_

"_It is a curious thing to consider. Both that what doesn't kill you would make you stronger... I cannot bring myself to agree. I would have thought it would have left you weaker to an attack of same type?" Khan asked, folding his legs as he leaned forward in the bed, "Or is it more of a... Metaphoric saying?"_

_Sighing heavily, Jim shook his head, "Damnit Khan, you ruined my motto... Yeah I is meant to be metaphoric, inspiring and positive. You went and killed it you ass."_

"_Well, given your theory it should come back stronger than before no?" he smirked._

"_Ugh, why do I visit you?" he groaned._

_The black haired male smirked, "Because you love my intellectual company."_

_The blonds' eyes narrowed in amusement, "And why do you let me visit you?"_

"_Because I love your enigmatic personality." He answered deftly, "Not to mention the abundance of amusing stories you keep telling me."_

"_Oh you enjoy the stories? That's good. Got a load more tucked away up here." He tapped his skull before he glanced at the time and sighed, "I'd better get going before the nurses make their rounds, otherwise they will go and tell Bones that I am missing. He actually spanks when you misbehave you know?"_

"_You must have a sore backside then."_

"_Cheeky." He smirked as he stood up and paused, "I'll be back same time tomorrow, okay?"_

"_I look forward to it, James." He offered a coy smile as he laid back slowly._

"_I am sure you will." He grinned before he winked and headed out of the door, smiling to himself as he shut it behind him. He felt heady and his heart was thundering slightly as gentle warmth tickled at his cheeks._

_He was treading dangerous roads here. Blushing led to childish attraction and childish attraction led to feelings... Feelings where dangerous and... Painful in the end. He would have to be careful._

_-/-_

_Sitting in his apartment, he sighed as the last of the adrenaline from disarming the bomb left him and was replaced by infinite tiredness; he looked at the watch in his hand and swallowed thickly, listening to the sound of the shower in the bathroom as Khan washed himself._

_It felt strange inviting someone into his house, he was so used to quietness and aloneness it felt very... Alien, yet not unpleasant. Khan had never asked him about John Harrison, he had expected him to do so after that strained conversation in the Brig all those months ago but there was nothing. Khan wouldn't probe him, he figured. He would tell him, but it would be in his own time. Until then, he found himself falling further and further and he didn't have a lot of time to decide what he was willing to do._

_Standing up slowly, he tucked the watch into his pocket again and let out a long breath, who was he kidding? He already knew what he was willing to do, he was willing to do anything and everything._


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello! Me again XD Thanks for the wonderful reviews! They really do inspire me to write with a rocket in my hand haha!**

**In this chapter I use a couple of Khan's crew to emphasise a point, I used a search engine to find the names of his crew from the original series so I have used them, if they are incorrect I apologise and if you know the right names do let me know!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Nineteen: Blood Is Thicker Than Water:**

Khan lifted his gaze slowly; his eyes brimming with tears of fury as he shot the most violent of glares at George Kirk. The engines of the Frigate Rebellion were revving and the ship was turning, following the evacuating pathway of the Enterprise. It didn't take him two seconds to realise that George had wired the circuitry of the scanners, sensors and Warp course to track and shadow the Enterprise.

That is to say that George, being an exceptionally skilled scientist, had programmed the ship to latch onto the Enterprise; causing it to follow and mimic its every move like a shadow or reflection. Clever; he could see the damage the Enterprise was taking was extensive, and he knew it would break Jim's heart to see his ship destroyed in such a manner.

So, Khan dragged his fallen lover out of harm's way, kissing his blood stained lips before he stood up and cracked his neck, turning on his heel and striding towards George's turned back.

His hand came down hard on the man's shoulder as he hauled him around to face him before slamming his fist into his face with all his might. He felt his jaw breath under his knuckles and he threw another punch into his ribs and abdomen, bringing down a hail of strikes and pummels which left George spitting blood between falling teeth and shattered bones.

As his foe crumpled on the floor, Khan crouched down and ripped the cover panel off the controls and examined the magnitude of wires inside; routing through them he ignored the faint sting of electricity as it zapped his ski gently.

His eyes narrowed as he found what he was looking for, a small spherical device which was pulsing a similar colour to that of a Warp driver. Khan curled his fingers around it and tore it free, popping his head up as he felt the ship shudder to a halt. Letting out a breath, the pocketed the device for a later examination and stood up, tapping at the console in front of him and hailing the Enterprise.

As Spock's face filled the screen, Khan met his gaze and found himself to be inwardly amused by the recollection that the last time they had spoken in such a manner he had been pointing a phaser set to kill at the back of Jim's head and had been threatening the Vulcan with his life. Oh how times changed.

"Mister Spock, regroup with the Romulan ship and send out a transmission to Starfleet. Inform them of the situation, leave out _no_ detail." He told the Vulcan calmly.

"Where is the Captain?" the other responded instantly; Khan could see his eyes searching the Bridge.

"He..." he hesitated, "He is merely indisposed at the moment. Send that message Mister Spock, we will be back with you soon." He told him.

"... Very well, as long as you can keep the Frigate offline we can make a move."

"Don't doubt me, I am unused to the concept of failure as you well know, just do what you can to-"

Khan was cut off suddenly when a hand clasped a fistful of his hair and slammed his head down onto the console with bone breaking strength. He hit the floor and groaned quietly, his eyes flickering around until he saw George back on his feet. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the dizziness.

However, the dizziness lingered for an unusually long period of time; when he reached up and wiped his face Khan felt a jolt of shock run through him as he wiped a thick trail of blood from under his nose from where it had connected with the console. His hand shook for a moment before he quenched the momentary fear and rolled onto his back, shuffling up against one of the other control pads and using it to drag himself up to his feet.

George had subsequently ended the transmission to the Enterprise, and was attempting to reboot the systems to give the Frigate power again.

"Blast it..." he swore before he twisted, gripping Khan's outstretched fist and twisted his arm roughly until he heard the bone snap and the other let out a cry of pain, "Tut, tut, tut Mister Singh."

Khan gasped through the pain, holding his arm limply where the shattered bone had punched through his flesh, he waited for his body to heal the injury and his mouth went dry when it didn't do it, "W... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!" he roared furiously.

"I didn't do anything to _you_ Khan, you did it to yourself. I thought you were smarter than this, apparently I was wrong." George smirked.

"Explain." He spat.

George sighed exasperatedly, "I poisoned Jimbo with an antidote to your blood, now, how does poison work?"

Khan spluttered and sought the answer, his face paling as he found it, "Through... The blood."

"Very good, and what did you do before you attacked me?"

Clenching his teeth as anger boiled through his veins, Khan growled, "You bastard... You use idle cowardice to justify your complete lack of sanity!"

George held up a hand, "Before you start name calling... Perhaps you should see something." He offered, lifting a rung of keys and jingling them tauntingly, "Follow me."

Khan's dislike for following anyone's orders except his own or Jim's screamed at him to refuse and to punch the man again, but his curiosity and his hopes of saving Jim forced him to obey. Not to mention that he was at a disadvantage now his own blood had become toxic.

A singular crack as he yanked his arm and watched the bone slip back under his skin sealed the deal as he walked with a limp after Jim's deranged father.

"Did you ever think to ask why it was aboard this ship that I stowed myself?" George asked as they strode through the corridors.

"Because you planned to steal the shop and use it to your own ends; it has all the capabilities you required, warp factoring, limited crew numbers, easy access to Starfleet commands." He answered, pain blossoming across his chest as he walked, he realised he was bruising and decided he didn't particularly like being as vulnerable as normal people.

"Hmm, well yes for the most part, but there is more. Much more," he glanced at him, "The Rebellion was taken in for repairs by the science division under Admiral Marcus's orders for the purpose of building a lower level hull, concealed by a futuristic Romulan camouflage device taken from the wreckage of the Nevada ship Jim destroyed. It hides the compartment from the naked eye; the purpose of the hanger was transportation of some special cargo."

"What sort of cargo?"

"Let us take a look," George breathed as they came to a stop outside of a large set of thick hanger doors.

Khan brushed his hand over the doors and frowned, "Diamond infused titanium alloy? This hanger was built for containment. An emergence back up in case they ran into difficulty aboard the ship?"

"No Khan," he smirked, "For containment and protection against the cargo."

"They were transporting living matter then? That is against Federation rules..."

"Marcus wasn't playing by the rules." George snorted before he typed in a twelve digit code into the panel beside the door before slotting one of the many keys into the small slot under the panel, "It took me a month to gather all the digits of the code needed. Marcus grew paranoid towards the end of the project. Your influence no doubt."

Khan chose to ignore the jibe, his eyes focused on the doors as they hissed and slowly ground open, creaking with disuse, to begin with they were introduced to a pitch black room, but leisurely the large overhead lights came to life and illuminated the room. A room filled with seventy-two cryotubes.

His eyes widened before his mouth fell ajar and he lurched forwards, resting his hand against the glass as he peered through it at the unchanged face of his First Officer, "M... My crew?! Where where they taking them?!" he demanded, wondering if he had once again been betrayed by Starfleet.

"New Vulcan. Apparently they were to be woken up there and allowed to populate an uninhabited area of the planet. Living in peace with the remain Vulcans." The other said as he approached, "Most likely a plan orchestrated by my deceptive son. Maybe you don't know him as well as you thought you did."

"No, James would not have concealed this from me. He knows the meaning of family; he knows what my crew mean to me. I have the utmost faith in him." He said confidently.

"Very well... We will do this the hard way then. Jim has... Oh by my calculations about twenty minutes before he bleeds to death; your crew has the same amount of time. You get to chose, Khan. Save your crew, or same Jim."

-/-

Spock let out a breath as they finally shuddered to a stop beside the Romulan ship, answering the hail from them he sat a little straighter in his chair as he was faced by the same Captain his friend had previously addressed, "This is Acting-Captain Spock speaking." He greeted.

"Where is Captain Kirk? We weren't expecting things to take so long." Valance responded.

"There were some minor problems and the Captain beamed aboard to the Rebellion to try and solve them. I just received a transmission from Khan and they should be ready to return to us very soon. However he did suggest a regroup before making further contact with Starfleet to explain the situation to them." the Vulcan reeled off, "Has Lieutenant Uhura been helpful to you since beaming aboard?"

"Indeed she has, if only half my crew were as diligently spoken as she is," he sighed thoughtfully, "Things have certainly smoothed, her aural sensitivity is almost unmatched and her linguistic skills are... Most impressive."

"I am sure she would be pleased to accept such praise." He said, a prang of jealousy making itself known.

"I doubt it, she has been a little prickly." He chuckled weakly before clearing his throat, "Has Kirk apprehended the criminal?"

"I believe he is close to doing so, although Khan gave no real explanation as to what was happening." Spock said honestly.

"Understood, in that case, keep me updated on the situation. Valance out."

The Vulcan sighed as the message ended and he rubbed his forehead in thought, a breath escaped him before he considered the abnormality of the hail he had received from the Frigate Rebellion. Jim never allowed anyone to make necessary calls unless he had no option; for him to merely be 'indisposed' was unlikely as he could not imaging Jim and Khan separating on such an important mission.

A niggling anxiety settled in his stomach before he directed Sulu to take them back out to where the Rebellion was lingering. He got to his feet and handed the control to the pilot before checking his phaser and heading for the transporter at the same time; grabbing McCoy on his way.

As the two men stepped onto the transportation plates and were beamed across to the other ship, the shared a brief glance; remaining still as they were beamed. When the particles finally faded and they found themselves to be in the transportation room aboard the Frigate they set off at a stealthy but not less determined sprint.

Meandering corridors were no problem for the two experienced men, the Enterprise's hallways were much longer and much more complicated than the ones on the Rebellion.

It didn't take long for them to find their way to the Bridge and when they entered it, only to find it empty, they shared another look of puzzlement before McCoy's eyes widened.

"Jim!" he exclaimed, shooting passed the Vulcan to where he had seen his friend lying; he crouched down and checked his pulse, finding it to be weak but present.

"Doctor, why has he not healed?" Spock asked as he hastened over as well.

"I don't know damnit, I'm not a mind reader!" he snapped, rolling up Jim's black jumper to expose the source of the blood loss.

A single deep stab wound to the abdomen which appeared to have just punctured the spleen; causing acute internal bleeding; Bones began to run several different tests on Jim while he also tried to treat his injury 'the good old fashioned way' with a needle and thread.

"I've found the hole in the spleen, I should be able to repair it." The Doctor said, gloved fingers probing inside the stab wound.

Spock, who had turned a slightly sickened shade of green nodded, "Very good Doctor. Perhaps I should find Khan?"

"No I might need another pair of hands..."

"I am not sure I would suffice as a second pair of hands right now." The Vulcan breathed.

Bones glanced up and smirked, "Feeling faint?"

"Yes... I may throw up on you." Spock swallowed.

"Oh, _now_ you display a sense of humour. You just wait till I tell Jim about this one." He smirked again and looked back at what he was doing as he extended the wound so that he had room to repair the spleen.

When the results of one of the blood tests returned, Spock checked them over, "Doctor, it would appear that an antibody has afflicted the Captain's bloodstream, restricted the abilities of Khan's blood."

"Let me see that." Bones leaned over and craned his neck to read the results, "Mm... Interesting, well let's see if we can't do something about that. Can you get these things out of my bag?" he asked before reeling off a list of chemicals and medicines he wanted.

-/-

_Khan looked around as one of his oldest friends approached him and he sighed, standing up and brushing his trousers down as he smiled and clapped his good friend on the arm._

"_What's the matter?" he asked._

"_You," his friend responded with a sigh, "Don't you think it is about time you considered pairing off? Khan, there is no one who can challenge us and we are safe as long as we are together. Everyone else has begun to pair off, marry and have children. Even myself and Ling-"_

"_I'm alright as I am, Joaquin. As for your and Ling I am more than happy for you both, and the rest of the crew; although I still believe it would be best for us to find a planet where we could settle... The ship is hardly suitable for children to be running around on after all." He responded in his usual ambiguous manner._

"_Khan..."_

"_Honestly, I don't want to pair off yet anyway. I've got a lot left to do with my life. I'm happy just to sit back and watch the rest of you settle," he interrupted, "Besides, in all honesty... There is no one who I think I could settle with. I consider you all to be my brothers and sister; I could not fall in love with a sibling like that. Maybe a time will come when I find someone I can consider loving but until then I am content. Do not concern yourself with my love life Joaquin, worry about your own."_

_The other sighed heavily but conceded, "Alright, but you always seem so lonely. Like you're missing something."_

"_I am fine." He repeated._

"_Okay, anyway, Otto wanted me to tell you that he needs some assistance in engineering, there's been an unexpected issue with the engines." He told him, smiling as he watched his Captain and friend head off to find the source of the problem and assist with the repairs._

"_I told you it would do no good to press him." Ling sighed as she slipped her arms around her husband's middle, resting her chin on his shoulder as she watched Khan's retreating back, "He will find love when he is ready to, not when we want him to."_

"_I know, but I just want him to be happy. He has done so much for us and...Well, he's like a brother to me as well."_

"_He is a brother to all of us, more than a leader he is a friend and he is family. But if you pressure him he will not respond well." She told him, pressing a gentle kiss against his neck._

Khan swallowed hard as he looked down at Joaquin's cryotube, his face barely obscured by the frost of the carbon. He was exactly as he remembered him to be.

How could he ever chosoe between his family and Jim? Such a choice was impossible and it was cruel, just like George. How fitting.


	20. Chapter 20

**Another chapter here we come! This one is a bit of a long one so I hope you enjoy the snippets of angst from the characters! Thanks again for the awesome reviews, I can't believe we are at 140!**

**C****hapter Twenty: Sacrificial Lamb:**

The pain in his broken nose and arm did nothing to quell the feeling of loss and confusion; nor did it lessen the intense rage he felt at being so manipulated. At the end of the day, was he so obvious? Well, yes, he supposed he was actually. He felt like he was spinning out of control, he couldn't find a way through it anymore. It used to be so simple. His crew... Nothing came before his crew. Yes, that was how it used to be, his crew was his family and his family was his life. Once upon a time it would have been an easy choice, a choice made with very little consideration behind it. But those times... They were behind him now.

He had no way of making the choice at all, under normal circumstances he would turn to cold hard logic, just as Mister Spock would; in that scenario the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. But logic was on no used to him when it came to matters of the heart. When his desires interfered with his ethical and logical database of a brain. His crew, or Jim. His family, or his love. Never had a single choice seemed so hard to make as this one did.

He knew that he was losing out whatever he did. And the longer he waited the more chance he had of losing both parties forever. Joaquin had always worried about him, trying to find him a wife. Silly fool had never once realised that his interests laid solely with the male sex, women... Regrettably women interfered with his natural born duty to seek out life weaker than his own and it made it harder for him to accept them. The female members of his crew were different because they were strong and smart, just as he was; they could be respected. But they were his siblings not his prospective wives. Regardless, he longed for a _man_, a strong and fearless leader figure who could challenge his authority and reign in his darker side.

Nevertheless, Joaquin had never stopped trying; it was all romance with the guy, always love and war entwined with a healthy dose of earth shattering sex. He was strong and yet considerate, the gentlest member of his crew, and a good parallel for Khan's more destructive personality. His friend, his brother, would have wanted him to chose Jim. Without a doubt he knew it to be the truth; if he allowed Jim to die and then released Joaquin the man would go mental at him for throwing away his first opportunity at love. Indeed, he had hidden it from Jim because he had not wanted to worry him or pressurize him but... Before their heated rendezvous in the blonds' cabin he had been untouched. A virgin. And for letting Jim die, Joaquin and Ling would never allow him to hear the end of it. He would never have peace.

And yet, as he considered it, he knew that Jim was aware that his crew meant the world to him. And if he chose to save Jim by sacrificing his family... The feisty blond would blame himself and never forgive himself for not being strong enough or something similarly like that. Jim was noble and a lot purer than he pretended. He didn't want to hamper than purity with his own guilt for having to make the choice. Would they even survive the choice when Jim found out? He couldn't be sure.

There simply was no solution. None of which he deemed plausible. None of which he could enact while his healing abilities were severed by the antidote he had consumed after kissing Jim's blood stained lips. As George had so rightly reminded him: the antidote was in Jim's blood and being a fool Khan had then kissed him, having picked up just the slightest traces of blood off his lips he too had succumbed to the antidote With his super-human abilities cut off he was next to helpless. A feeling he rather disliked.

George truly had considered everything, completely planned and prepared the man was a genius. Corrupt and evil, but a genius no less. Khan could now see how Jim had come to be so intelligent: with a bright and brilliant woman like Winona (yet another woman he found he _did_ look up to and respect) as his mother and a man as skilled as George as his father... What a son they had created! What a son indeed, both beautiful and broken; good and bad; courageous yet fearful; a leader of esteemed respect and presence.

Khan knew, he knew it deep within his heart, that he would never again find a man like James Tiberius Kirk. He was one of a very special kind. Very special indeed.

How was he meant to make this choice? How was he ever supposed to chose between the two articles of his life which meant the most to him? He would sooner die himself.

He paused suddenly as a zing of realisation washed over him and he glanced down into the glassy tube of his First Officer's residence; it was foolhardy and both Joaquin and Jim would likely kill him for it themselves. But in this situation it didn't seem that he had any other option at all. It was only... _Logical_ as Spock would say.

Khan stood to his full height despite the pain in his ribs from the beating he had taken; he wasn't sure he liked this lack of healing he had developed in the wake of the antidote entering his system. Was this really how humanity functioned.

Regardless of the aches and pains, he turned to face George slowly and clenched his jaw, "I have made my decision."

"Took you long enough, you only have fifteen minutes left to revive the necessary people." the burned man responded with a smirk from beside the control panel to the door.

"Well, I do thank you for being patient," he responded sarcastically, "However you are yet to be disappointed because... I chose myself."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard. If anyone is going to die today... It will be me. So go on and do your worst. If you really wanted to get your revenge on Starfleet, defeat the man they couldn't. Defeat the man they had to chase down using your son. Not only do you get one over on Starfleet, you get revenge on James for being such a little upstart. You wanted him to accept you with open arms didn't you? And when he didn't you felt angry and vengeful which is why you stabbed him. So finish the job and break his heart." he growled out, dropping his arms down by his sides as he left himself completely open to attack.

George stared for a moment before he let out a light hearted laugh and ran a hand through his greying hair, "Well I never, and I was reliably informed that you had no conscience Khan Noonien Singh. How very impressive. If it is your desire then who am I to argue? Die if you wish to die. But I'll not be getting my hands dirty in it this time."

Khan frowned before his eyes widened as George's hand came down on one of the buttons and the diamond encrusted titanium hanger doors ground shut; ice blue eyes glazing over he shot forwards and reached the doors just as they slammed shut. He swallowed and slid down to the floor as his arm and leg throbbed painfully; the majority of the lights going dark as the room registered all occupants as having left. He bit the inside of his cheek at his own stupidity: George had never planned to allow him to leave the hanger alive. He had stupidly fallen for pretty baubles in the shape of his seventy-two crew members.

He looked up as a low buzz entered the room and he tapped the intercom button, "What is it? Are you going to gloat? Is the room air tight? Am I going to suffocate to death? It isn't very imaginative. I am disappointed." he sneered, pausing as he watched a puff of his breath turn to mist in front of his face in bemusement.

_"Oh no, Mr Singh, it is far better than that. The entire hanger was constructed to keep the temperature below minus one hundred degrees. No Mr Singh, you will not suffocate, you will freeze. I figure that it makes for a much more attractive corpse."_ George's voice came over the machine, a tinny pitch assigned to it thanks to the slightly frost covered machinery.

Khan licked his lips as they began to chap and he tucked his hands under his armpits, trying to gather warmth from his hotspots as the cold began to numb the pain of his broken bones as his external body temperature began to drop. He had let his guard down, and now that he was not stood between George and the control systems on the Bridge the man was probably going to go and seek the Enterprise out and destroy her. And it was his fault. He hadn't been able to keep the ship safe. He had let Jim down. His hopes for waking his crew and being reunited with them had left him vulnerable to manipulation and he was now faced with having to fail for the first time in his life. He was not accustom to failing. Yet here he was facing failure and... Death.

-/-

As George turned his back on the containment hanger, safe in the knowledge that Khan would freeze to death in the rapidly cooling temperatures, he allowed himself a moment to smirk at his own success. His master plan was coming along wonderfully; Khan had asked to die and he was going to do just that; Jim would want to be with him so he would die as well. Together forever huh?

He sighed slightly and pushed his hair off his face, it did trouble him slightly that he had become so detached from his own feelings that he no longer cared whether his own flesh and blood died in the process of his plans, but he was only doing what was necessary, even if that meant that his own mind would become dark and detached.

Jim would never understand his reasons the way he understood Khan's, which was sad as it categorically meant that his son had to be put out of the way where he couldn't interfere anymore... And knowing his son it was a regrettable personality trait that Jim would never give up while he was still breathing. His only respite was death.

Remorse was something he had long since cast aside, the Cardassians had no such need of things and they had been his saviours... Found floating on their territory months after the decimation of the USS Kelvin, his evacuation pod had been captured by one of their ships in a tractor beam and he had been taken aboard for questioning. They had been surprisingly nice about it all once he had thoroughly explained his reasons for being there and the anger he felt towards Starfleet.

They had treated his burns, healed his body and tutored him in warfare Cardassian style; in exchange he had lingered with them for fifteen years, serving as a soldier aboard their ships and enhancing their scientific knowledge with his own skills. Let's face it, if he was going to play both sides of the field, why not do it well hmm?

He stopped in his tracks as he heard voices from inside the Bridge and his eyes narrowed as he pulled his phaser from its place at his side, creeping forward as the voices got louder. His eyes narrowed as he stepped onto the Bridge and peered around cautiously, the desire not to be outwitted or outmanoeuvred evident in his mind as he weighed the possible outcomes against one and other He had no desire to yet be defeated while so much of what he had planned was yet to be set into action. And he wanted to be there to see Starfleet crumble.

-/-

McCoy leaned back as he swabbed the puckered skin he had just very neatly sewn together, he was overall mightily proud of his achievement as it had been about seven or so years since he had taken the training course to do stitches; and even then if he did say so himself, he had done very well. At the very least, Jim was no longer bleeding out and the hole in his abdomen was sealed and no longer providing a slightly gruesome glance at what lay beneath his flesh. A good days work for the good doctor.

And Spock...

It wasn't _his_ fault, he had believed the Vulcan to be fooling around when he had threatened to vomit... Of course it hadn't registered that Vulcans did not know how to tell a joke until _after_ Spock had gone emerald in the face and hurled the contents of his stomach into the wastepaper bin beside the captain's chair. It wasn't _his fault_ that he had been a little naïve.

But you know... It _was_ a memory that he was vowing to recall on his death bed to ensure that he died laughing his damned ass off.

Chuckling to himself, Bones placed a sterile cotton pack laced with traces of silver to aid healing over Jim's wound, he bandaged him up securely and finished off his work with a neat bow. How professional.

He sat back and removed his latex gloves, turning to the Vulcan, "I have done everything I can for him, he should pull through though."

"Should? Doctor please be precise." Spock said coolly, his dark eyes flicking from the Doctor to the patient.

"Alright, unless he develops a secondary infection he will pull through, and the infection is unlikely." he said in a surly tone of voice before he watched Spock's shoulders slump in relief, and he found himself feeling a tinge of guilt at his attitude, "This is Jim we are talking about. He'll be just fine and annoying us all again in no time at all." he added in a softer tone.

"Indeed," he nodded, "However we should consider the chance that he will be less than 'alright' if we do not locate Khan."

"Good point, where'd the damned hobgoblin run off to?" he agreed with a heavy sight.

"I believe _I_ can assist you with that article of information." George Kirk said as he appeared from his hiding place, aiming his phaser at Jim - the one person they knew neither of them would risk.

"George Kirk I presume?" Spock asked as he slowly got to his feet, "You are different to the photograph on your officer records."

"Well they were taken in excess of twenty years ago... And before I was scarred." he said with a roll of his eyes and a flourish of his hand in the area of his face, "You must be Mister Spock, Jimbo's Vulcan friend... And Doctor Leonard 'Bones' McCoy."

"Yeah, what of it?" the good doctor asked as bluntly as he always did.

"It is a pleasure to meet you both face to face, your records speak highly of you Doctor; Spock." he smirked and gave them both a mocking bow before he tightened his hand around his phaser, "So, you saved him? I have to admit that I didn't expect you to board the ship, that was one factor I over looked."

"Where is Khan Noonien Singh?" Spock asked, ignoring the false complimentary tone of the enemy.

"Oh he is just... Cooling off." he laughed, sweeping a hand through his hair dramatically, "Never mind him for the time being, worry about yourselves."

"There are two of us and one of you, I believe the odds are in our favour." the Vulcan stated calmly, reaching slowly for his phaser.

"Ah-ah-ah, that may be true but I have a weapon aiming at Jim's head and if you continue drawing that phaser I will kill him."

The Vulcan's back straightened slightly and his face remained unchanged, "In which case you will cease to have any hold over the two of us and we will take you out regardless."

"My, my are you suggesting a game of resolves? As I hear it you had a very fortuitous game of that with Mr Singh himself. But wasn't that over... Ah yes, your Captain: Jim. Do you expect me to fall for such traps given the forethought you have seen be give my own plans?" he snorted, "You cannot trick me, Vulcan, it doesn't work."

Spock clenched his teeth together and glared at him as he dropped his hand back at his side, his phaser still in place; it was true, he couldn't risk Jim's life it meant to much to him; Jim meant to much to him. That an if Jim died on his watch and Khan survived he could easily see his own demise staring him in the face. He had to try and find a different method of getting around this.

"What do you hope to accomplish by doing this? You will not be seen as a hero, you will be see as a tyrant and a monster... You will have no power and nothing to live for. So why do all of this?"

George shrugged, "I don't care about the future, I just want revenge on Starfleet. They took my life from me!"

"No, Nero took your life from you." the Vulcan corrected, "Had he not decided to annihilate all life on the Kelvin you would not have been forced to leave the side of your wife and new born son; you would not have been scarred and you would have lived a happy life. There is nothing you can gain by trying to destroy everything you once lived for. Only further suffering. Do you truly want another son to lose his father because a madman took him from him?"

"Starfleet let me down! They left me to die!"

"They thought you were already dead! Everyone thought you were dead!" McCoy barked, "What do you think they are, mind readers? Good God man! No one is perfect! You need to stop blaming others for what happened to you and face the truth!"

"I AM SPEAKING THE TRUTH! STARFLEET BETRAYED ME! THEY ABANDONED ME AND THEY NEVER CARED! AND THEY WILL PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID TO ME!" He roared, his finger trembling against the kill set phaser trigger.

A flash of light erupted through the room as a finger met the trigger of a phaser, followed by the sound of a falling body and silence ensued. Spock and McCoy looked at each other before they turned slowly to where Jim had propped himself up, phaser in hand as he panted hard and sweat dripped down his face from the exertion. The two men stared at him for a moment before they peered around and saw George crumpled on the floor unconscious from the stun he had received.

"God... He talks a lot... Doesn't he?" the blond rasped out and smiled crookedly at his two friends before he slumped down and rested a hand over the bandages on his abdomen.

"And we always wondered where you got it from." Bones muttered as he relaxed and walked over, crouching down and checking him over, "Nice to see you back with us." he added with a sigh.

"Ugh, don't make joked Bones, it doesn't suit you." he groaned, reaching up and running a hand through his hair, "Where's Khan?"

The Doctor remained silent, and Spock approached, kneeling down and speaking, "We're not sure, your father made some comment about him 'cooling off'..."

Jim frowned and looked up at the ceiling, wondering if his lover was alright, "Probably worth going to look for him or something."

"Indeed, I would agree however our first priority is you." The Vulcan said sternly.

"Actually, I think we've got a bigger problem." Bones murmured and they followed his gaze.

George had vanished.

"Well damn." Jim sighed heavily, "He's even slipperier than I am."

"He will turn up again at some point." Bones warned.

"Oh I know. I expect him to as well, being my father he would have to be at least twice as tenacious as I am."

"Even after meeting him, that is hard to imagine." the Doctor smirked.

"What did I just say about you not making jokes?" the blond grumbled.

Spock frowned faintly in concern before he turned back to the pair, "Captain do you feel as though you can walk?"

The Captain glanced himself over before he took in a breath, "With some support I think I could do it yeah."

His two friends nodded, and languidly they got him to his feet, both resting their hands on him as he staggered; lurched and swayed; it took Jim a few long minutes to find his footing and even when he did he felt lightheaded and a little sickly - Bones reliably informed him that it was the blood loss - and he was able to set it to one side in favour of seeking out Khan.

They left the Bridge, venturing along the corridors and seeking out the route the superhuman may have taken. For sure it was going to take a while. And Jim's concern was growing as the time passed. He wanted to know that Khan was alright; he wanted to see him and make sure everything was alright. And after that he really wanted a nice long bath followed by a long sleep as he became accustomed to being an 'average' human again. He almost missed being superhuman, the speed and strength... The hypersensitivity of his skin. Yeah, he missed it already. Maybe he could bribe Bones into giving him another transfusion.

He paused as they passed a set of large hanger doors and he tilted his head slightly as he admired them, they seemed to be encrusted with diamonds. Someone must have been trying to contain something pretty strong. Nudging Bones, he got his companions to steer him towards the door and he took a look at the control pad in the wall for it, "Huh, they're freezing something in here... It's minus one hundred in there!"

Spock and Bones shared a glance before Jim realised what he had said in relation to their earlier tale of George saying that Khan was 'cooling off' and Jim instant slammed a code into the controller and watched as the temperature began to rise and the doors slowly ground open. Floundering forwards, Jim left his companions behind him and swaggered into the hanger, his eyes going wide as he saw a figure dressed in black curled up near to one of the cryotubes the hanger was containing. He didn't need to get any closer to know that it was Khan.

As Spock and Bones joined him, Jim fell to his knees as grief racked his body and he felt his heart break in two.

_'Khan... Oh God no... Khan please... Don't you leave me now... You promised me... You promised me you wouldn't leave...'_ he repeated in his mind like a mantra as Bones shot forwards, seeking to treat the man as fast as he could. He could hear Bones talking but he couldn't make out the words over the loud rushing of blood in his ears as his eyes welled up and spilled over, tears freezing on his cheeks because of the still cold air.


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you for the amazing response to the last chapter, things are going to get a little bit angsty for a while, but hold tight there is light on the other end of the tunnel!**

**Chapter Twenty-One: The Temper of James T Kirk:**

James held the blanket around his shoulders as the last remnants of the frost began to melt as his body acclimatised to the warmth of the Enterprise's Medical Bay; he watched with a lamentable expression as his lover was sealed within the single spare cryotube recovered from the Frigate Rebellion. Once again the seventy-two tubes took up residence in the Medical Bay, laying scattered in disorganised lines on and between the beds; then there was the Captain's tube set on a table in the middle of the room where Bones had spent hours doing his best to treat Khan. He had failed, and as a result came up with the idea to place him in his cryotube again, to try and nullify the effect of the ice and hypothermia.

In truth Jim had only been half listening, somewhere between grief and fury he blocked out the voices of his friends as they tried to prise him from that dark place he had fallen to. He wasn't interested. The only thing in the world that mattered to him was being sealed away for a third time, this time to try and save his life; this time as an equal and not as an enemy. Maybe... Maybe that was better but at the same time it still meant that they were not going to be together. And if Bones was wrong... If Bones was wrong about this then...

He couldn't bare to consider the alternative to the Doctor being correct in his theory. The alternative hurt to much. For so long he had used sex as a means to keep himself at a distance from the people around him, but Khan had broken down his barriers and he had still embraced him as a whole despite his flaws and his issues. But now Khan had left him, just like everyone else did; just like he had sworn not to. Khan had lied to him.

Closing his eyes as the final decompression hiss made itself known, he looked away from the tube and felt his hands shake under the confines of the blanket he was clutching like it was his only form of gravity. He felt as though, if he let go he would fly spiralling out of control and he couldn't afford to do that. He had to maintain control of his ship, and his crew despite the pain and the fear in his heart. He had to enact the lessons of the Kobayashi Maru. He had lost his lover, he could not afford to lose his command as well, it would be the final straw. One of many.

Sliding from the bed, Jim walked towards the cryotube and let out a shaky breath as he looked at Khan's peaceful face, hidden beneath the glass and the gentle frosting of the ice. He took a long moment to stare at his face, memorising it and storing it all to the back of his mind. He would not return to gaze upon his face until Bones told him he was reviving him, he vowed it.

And then, the blond turned away; walking out of the Medical Bay without so much as a backward glance despite the calls from Bones and Spock. He wasn't listening anymore. He meandered the corridors, his hand ghosting the puckered skin of his newest injury beneath his jumper; a frown fixed itself on his face as he made his way to his room, looking up as the door opened to permit him entrance. Stepping over the threshold he froze on the spot as he found himself staring at the floor where he and Khan had made love before their journey to the Rebellion.

His stomach churned and his heart throbbed, dropping the blanket on the floor he turned and sprinted away, ignoring the searing pain of his wound as his legs carried him far from the scene of intimacy. The problem was, that no matter where he ran he found memories of his experiences with Khan, good and bad they plagued him like locusts as he fled them continuously. Seeking a place of solace which was not haunted by memories and recollection.

He found himself in Engineering, the one place he had never set foot with his dark haired lover; he was able to slow then, as no memories cursed him with visions of ghostly re-enactments. With soft footfalls he padded down the metal staircases towards the Warp Core, his face shadowed by the recollection of his own _heroic_ sacrifice as he grew closer. He sloped through the outer exterior until he came to a stop outside the decontamination chamber where he had slipped into death while Spock watched in horror.

_"You used what he wanted against him... Nice move." he let out a choked chuckle in amusement as he licked his cracked lips, rasping through each breath as his body ached with each muscles movement._

_"I... It is what you would have done." Spock replied, his voice breaking slightly as he leaned forwards, looking both lost and remorseful._

_Jim nodded slightly, "And this..." he swallowed, "This is what... You would have done."_

Skimming the wall with his back, James slid down until he was sat on the floor, resting his head against the glass door he had once been on the other side of. He could feel a dangerous depression falling around him like a cloak but he couldn't escape it, he didn't want to. He knew, in his heart, that if he had remained _dead_ Khan wouldn't have... He wouldn't have nearly killed himself. He was choosing to ignore the fact that if he had remained dead Khan would never have been woken back up and would still be locked away in his cryotube for his terrorism crimes. He had a selective memory.

Reaching down, the blond slowly pulled his wrist watch from his pocket and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger, Khan was leaving him... Why... Why did everyone leave? Was he such a bad person that he deserved to suffer so many losses? Was he cursed to suffer the same fate of injustice every single time he found an inch of happiness? His eyes turned downwards as he looked at the watch in his hand and he swallowed thickly as a lump formed in his throat; he bit down hard on his bottom lip to top it trembling and he brushed his thumb over the neat inscription on the back: _John Harrison_.

John had been his first love, his first everything and losing him had triggered his abysmal sexual behaviour as he had vowed never again to love anyone who might hurt him or leave him. And he had so _stupidly_ broken that vow. For Khan! For the man who should have been his enemy! If he had just hated Khan like everyone else had after his crimes then none of this would have happened! It was all his fault and now there was nothing he could do about it! There was nothing he could do... There was nothing...

Feeling his eyes spill over again, he slowly raised his knees into his chest and hugged them as he pressed his face into the slightly chilled material of his trousers and cried into them, his hand clenching tightly around the watch as his anger and his sadness poured out of him in the safety of a darkened corner where no one could see him, or judge him.

-/-

It felt like hours since the Captain had left the Medical Bay, Spock had been unable to find him and was growing increasingly concerned; having found the discarded towel in the doorway of the Captain's room only to find it devoid of life. No one had seen or heard from Jim, he hadn't been answering his communicator. Spock was seriously worried, as was Doctor McCoy. They had moved from the Medical Bay to the Bridge at the end of their search, Spock had taken the Chair and the command of the ship until they located the Captain.

They had both seen Jim's reaction when they had found Khan in the hanger, frozen. It was something that the two of them would do _anything_ to make sure they never saw again. McCoy thought the recordings of Spock loosing his temper at the moment of Jim's death had been pretty scary until he had seen Jim go crazy.

Having been Jim's roommate throughout their years at the Academy he had seen Jim happy; he had seen him sad; he had seen him annoyed; he had seen him violent. But he had never seen him fuelled with rage. Even when they had hunted Khan down, even when Spock and Uhura had told him how Jim had beaten Khan so hard his own knuckles had shattered and required emergency attention, even then... Even then he had never seen him so fuelled with rage. It was truly a sight to behold and to fear.

_He watched as Jim staggered forwards as he and Spock finally managed to defrost Khan enough to lay him out straight on the ground; the frozen tears on his friend's face took him by surprise and he leaned back on his heels as the blond dropped to his knees, his bottom lip trembling. McCoy licked his lips and sucked in a breath as he prepared to comfort a slightly upset Jim, the words of sympathy and reassurance on the tip of his tongue. Those words died as fast as they had been thought however, when Jim suddenly relinquished a blood curdling scream and slammed his fist down on Khan's chest._

_"YOU PROMISED ME! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE YOU BASTARD! YOU LIAR! YOU GOD DAMNED LIAR! YOU SWORE YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS! YOU SWORE IT! DAMN YOU!" he screamed, hitting him repeatedly as though he expect him to stare back at him like he had done on Kronos, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HOW COULD YOU?!"_

_"J-Jim..." McCoy breathed, reaching out to try and grab his wrists to stop him, only to receive a punch in the face for his troubles; he lifted his gaze and looked at Spock who instantly snapped to attention and wrapped his arms around the blond from behind, moving his hand into place as he used his ability to Mind-Meld and connected with the Captain's mind in an attempt to sooth and calm him._

_It took several long minutes of thrashing before Jim finally stilled, at which point his knuckles had torn slightly and were bruising; Spock's expression had dimmed slightly as he felt the same pain Jim did; as he saw the same side of Khan that Jim had seen. He could finally understand their connection, and he could understand his grief._

The Doctor swallowed a lump in his throat as he finally drew himself from his reconciliation with a shudder, the memory of Jim's rage far to raw and fresh for him t be at all comfortable with. He had never seen or witnessed any anger like it before in his life, except for the fight between Jim and Spock during Nero's attack on Earth, Spock's anger had been something to contend with for sure. But even then... It paled in comparison.

"Do you think, Doctor, I should relieve him of his command?" Spock asked in a quiet and un-Vulcan like tone of voice, contemplative and uncertain.

"I think if you did that right now he would go and kill himself, if he hasn't done it already." Bones answered honestly, "I know Jim... He's a passionate person and... I think losing his command right now would tip him over the edge."

"I... I had come to that conclusion also," the Vulcan sighed softly and rubbed his forehead in an unusual display of stress, "I am concerned for him."

"I know you are. Me too. We just have to do our best and be there." he said, hesitating before he patted the other on the back awkwardly, "It is the only thing we can do now."

"I hope for all our sakes you are right about being able to save Khan..."

He interrupted the First Officer, "Don't go there. I know."

The pair looked around as the elevator doors opened to reveal the very man they were so worried about; washed, cleaned and wearing his full uniform, Jim strode forwards with his usual practiced confidence in his stride as he ascended the few small steps and sat down in the Chair, ignoring the stares from his fellow crew members.

"Mister Sulu, set a course for Earth. Our terrorist will be heading back there as well and I want to be there to catch him when he lands." Jim commanded with a stronger tone than expected, crossing one leg over the other as he relaxed into his seat, "Lieutenant Uhura I want you to get in contact with Starfleet Command, tell them what has occurred and tell them to prepare for our return, but also to keep an eye out for any suspicious action."

Both Sulu and Uhura made the mistake of glancing at Spock to see if they should indeed follow the Captain's orders; to which a response from the blond was only possible. Jim stood up and straightened his uniform, "If anyone of you has cause to think I should revoke my command of this ship then I order you to state it now. Because I can tell you categorically that I am in full control of my emotions and I am not compromised by the mission at hand. And until someone does remove me from command I believe you are supposed to follow my orders. So as soon as you are willing, Mister Sulu, Lieutenant Uhura, fulfil _my orders_." he growled his final statement with a determination that quelled anyone's desire to dare step out of place and as soon as the new course was charted and Uhura began to speak to the operatives at HQ he sat down, once again calm and refrained.

Spock and McCoy shared a glance and both let out a breath before they approached the Chair, "Captain, where have you been?" the Vulcan asked.

"Having some time to myself and my thoughts, Mister Spock. How is the ship?" he asked without looking at his friend.

"Repair has already begun on the lower levels to sustain us while we hit Warp, however some of the more drastic damage will have to be sorted out once we dock above Earth." he answered carefully.

"Good, unless there is anything else you can return to your station," he continued gazing out of the window, "Bones, how many injuries; how many fatalities?"

Bones hesitated for a moment and sighed, "Forty-six injured; one critical and twenty-two dead."

"Understood, make a checklist of the dead and be ready to report them to Starfleet upon your return to Head Quarters so that their families can be informed." he said without so much as a flinch.

"I... Jim," he leaned down slowly, "I think I should check over that wound of yours, now that we are back on the Enterprise I can do more for you. Pain relief, sterile antiseptic swabs... We don't want you to get an infection."

Jim's gaze flicked to his before he sniffed and straightened in his seat, "No need Bones. I am fine."

"Jim-"

"I said I'm fine Bones! Return to your damned post!" he barked, making the man jump very slightly.

"I... Alright... Fine..." he sighed and looked at Spock before he left the Bridge to return to the Medical Bay, as per his orders.

-/-

Jim was the last person to leave the Enterprise after they had docked, his bag slung over his shoulder as he made his way towards the shuttle which would take him to Earth. His first stop was going to be San Francisco Hospital, where his mother had been moved to during his absence to assist with her recovery, he really needed to see her; his second stop would be the Head Quarters to file his report and then, then he would head to the new apartment which had been built during their time away and where he had a brand new apartment to lock himself away. He wasn't giving up, he had a mission. In his bag he had packed several of the Enterprise's best computers and trackers; he had every intention of locating George before Starfleet did. And when he found him, he was going to show him the meaning of _vengeance. _Forget targeting the backbone of an institution for the sake of getting back at them, he was going to quite literally teach him the meaning of pain, James Tiberius Kirk style.

Sitting down on the shuttle, he buckled himself into the seat and glanced around as Spock joined him; aside from a brief jerk of the head he all but ignored the Vulcan for the entirety of the journey back to Earth, and when the shuttle landed he was the first to depart, heading away from his friends and his family before anyone could say or do anything. He climbed aboard the Starfleet supplied motorbike, discarding the unwanted helmet on the ground before he fired up the engine and stormed away from the shuttle bay, speeding down the road and leaving a pale trail of dust on the route behind him. He didn't need or want to stick around to see the cryotubes being removed from one of the other shuttles, he had made that vow already. He wasn't going to break this one. Not without a darn good reason. And he highly doubted he was going to find one of those any time soon, not with the path he was treading. It would be rocky, it would be dangerous and he would be doing it alone. That was how it needed to be. No one else could get hurt because they were connected to him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Another chapter my friends! Thank you for the amazing reviews, they are so awesome and appreciated now and forever! In case you haven't received an alert I have a new Khirk story going called Love, Lust and Vengeance, your input would be wonderfully appreciate if you have the time to check it out! Thank you!**

**Also, I am going to be changing my pen name, so if you suddenly start getting alerts from this story by someone with a different name don't worry it is still me! Thanks!**

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Tumbling:**

A day. A week. Three weeks. Jim had given up trying to keep track, there was no sense to it; no purpose and no meaning. Sat day after day, minute after minute, and completely unable to do anything else. The borrowed (*ahem* stolen) monitors, the trackers, the triangulation device... No sign of his quarry, not even a blip on the screens. And so it had been for the three weeks since his return to Earth.

Upon leaving the shuttle bay, he had visited his mother in the hospital, making sure that she was alright he had taken the time to tell her what had happened, although he concealed the identity of his stalker-terrorist from her, it would have broken her heart to learn that her beloved first husband was not the war hero she had always believed him to be; it was one of the only things which had kept her going for all these years: knowing he had died for a good purpose, to save the life of their son. He couldn't break her heart and tell her that now... The life he had saved he now tried to claim through malice and madness.

The scattered cups of cheap coffee which littered most of the counter and flat surfaces of his apartment were only accompanied by the aroma of the beverage which lingered in the air. Sleep was an unnecessary and time consuming activity, one of which Jim had ceased to partake in. He had to be there, watching and waiting, constantly. Even such things as eating had become so far down in his list of priorities that it no longer existed.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was making himself sick, not sleeping and not eating was taking a slow and steady toll, he was constantly fatigued in a physical sense more than a psychological one. And his social health had fallen into a rapid decline, he had neglected to inform his crew and his friends of his new accommodation; they didn't know where he was; he hadn't been answering his communicator and he hadn't been answering the door. None of it mattered! His task was more important than all of it! But... None of them would understand... Khan would have... Khan would have understood instantly but he... He wasn't around... So it was just him. Just Jim.

He told himself that he was protecting them by keeping them at arm's length; that way George would stay away from them; no one else would get hurt because of their connection to him. No one. He couldn't stand to lose another close friend. It would destroy him.

Jim snapped to attention as one of the sensors went off, a flash of red appeared on his radar screen as finally... After waiting for so long, his target made himself known.

He transferred the details to the modified PADD which he then strapped to his left arm - it was like a medieval bracer used to protect a warrior's arm from damage, only this was the 22nd Century equivalent and it was made of fiberoptic glass with the purpose of running an elite, state of the art tracking device. Had he mentioned that he had constructed this piece of fantastic equipment himself? He was a genius after all, such a thing had been child's play in the wake of his long hours of sobriety and waiting.

Grabbing his phaser from the side he sent several of his empty coffee cups flying as he donned his leather jacket and half flew from the apartment, like a man possessed; he hit the streets hard, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he straddled his motorbike, starting the engine before he sped off down the road, one eye on the road and the other on the tracking device on his arm. He knew he wasn't invincible anymore, another road crash would leave him dead, yet he still had not bought a helmet or proper protective leathers. Where would be the challenge in that? Was his conclusive answer to that particular argument concerning his apparent death wish.

Sweeping between the evening traffic, he meandered the hustle of San Francisco's highways, his expression set in a look of determination as his desire to do some serious damage to the man who had tried to kill him and who had almost succeeded in killing Khan. There was no way he was giving up on finding him, not until he had been given the chance to repay his cruelty in kind.

He pulled up outside of the old and battered industrial warehouses that he had been led to; his eyes scanning the area as he looked for signs of life; the warning signs had been disturbed and the chain which had been holding the slightly worn gates shut had been cut; he guessed that George had made himself a little shelter where he could set up and recover from the events aboard the Rebellion.

Dismounting from his bike, Jim pocketed his keys and slowly walked forwards, slipping through the parted gates and into the industrial waste ground; he felt hyperactive as he strode onwards, like he was going to be attacked at any passing moment, which was of course a possibility considering his past experiences with George. He reached around and drew his phaser, clenching his teeth as he gazed at the scarlet kill light that it had been set to before his shoulders slumped and he flicked it onto stun. Despite his rage, he was no killer; it would do him no good to become his enemy. He couldn't afford to make that decent into darkness.

Once upon a time, Khan had promised to be the stopping force to the instinct that came with his superhuman DNA, and despite no longer having the status of being 'better' anymore the instinct still remained, but there was no Khan to hold him back. So he had to be extra careful not to fall. If he even so much as tripped he would plummet into the unimaginable night, he would end up killing everyone he cared about with reckless and evil actions. He didn't want that. So by the book it was going to be. Stun the criminal and arrest him. He couldn't let their bond distract him anymore, George Kirk was not the father he had always hoped for, he was the father he had never wanted at all.

The gentle crunch of the dusty sand beneath his feet was the only sound of life around the area; overhead the darkening sky settled to reveal the stars and the moon in its complete glory; in the distance the final remnants of the sunset began to shallowly sink towards the horizon in the wake of the fading sun. Picking up pace, Jim endeavoured to find his target before he lost the ally of sunlight, which didn't leave him a lot of time; his confident footfalls led him from one warehouse to the next as he searched for his target; George would not be evading him today, no way.

Growing frustrated, he had finally only one out building left to search, his fingers were growing cold as the temperature began to drop and he gritted his teeth, slowly pulling back the doors and allowing the illumination of the moonlight to fall into the building where ahead of him he could see a black bundle crumpled on the ground. Lifting his phaser to eye level he crept forwards, his footfalls cautious now as he approached and slowly leaned down; he pulled the material covering the bundle aside and frowned as he discovered that it was not a body but an old music player from the turn of the century.

**_"I knew you would find a way to track me down, you are more clever than I gave you credit for."_** George's voice filled the building as the music player began to work, revealing the recording, _**"And knowing you, you'll be too full of anger to have informed any of your friends about your plans and you have left yourself open to harm... So clever and yet so stupid at the same time. Did you learn nothing from that road accident? I suppose not."**_

Jim frowned at the nature of the recording and inwardly he began to feel his temper growing at the thought of being tricked, and he had been... George was no where in sight! The man had guessed his intentions and found a way to side step them! And of course, he should never have thought anything different, the man was as clever as he was and infinitely more devious by the looks of things.

_**"I have to tell you that I am not willing to allow you the courtesy of tracking me down, I have plans that need completing and I won't allow an insolent brat to get in the way. The brat is you by the way; before hand I was playing games, I was enjoying the thrill of testing you but I don't want to play anymore. I have to set myself on course to complete my task. So I have left you a little farewell gift, I have no doubt you will see me again it seems we are destined to clash and fight to protect and destroy Starfleet. If you survive, I will see you soon."**_

As the recording clicked and ended Jim half scowled, leaning down to pick the machine up before he stopped dead as he heard the repetitive beeping sound of a countdown. His eyes widened in realisation before he turned and ran as fast as his legs would carry him; he had just reached the doors when the countdown stopped, giving a moment of utter silence before there was a massive explosion from the music player and flames billowed; the force of which sent Jim hurtling into the air.

He hit the ground with a crunch and choked back pain as his wrist cracked painfully under his body weight; he winced as heat rushed off his back, slightly singing his hair before he was able to roll onto his back and watched as the warehouse went up in flames. Another bloody bomb. Why wasn't he surprised?

-/-

Jim closed his eyes as Bones ran him over with scanner, he growled slightly as something was pressed against his cheek, "Bones get that thing off my face."

"Oh stop whinging I am almost done," the Doctor replied, "You know this would never have happened if you had actually spoken to someone."

"I don't need a lecture, I just need treatment." he snarled, balling his good hand into a fist.

"My goodness we are in a foul mood aren't we?" Bones sighed, pulling back before he sat down on the wheeled chair by the bed so he could examine Jim's broken wrist in more detail, "I wish I could put your mood swings down to the bang you've had on the head but we both know that isn't the case. Jim you are underweight, dangerously so, I've never seen you looking so... Gaunt. Have you been looking after yourself? Tell me the truth?"

"I'm fine. Its nothing I can't handle-OW!" he exclaimed as the other squeezed his wrist and sent a prang of agony upon and down his arm, "BASTARD!" he yelled.

"You haven't been eating have you?" he continued, "From the bags under your eyes it doesn't look like you have been sleeping either. Jim you are going to make yourself so ill... Khan wouldn't want that would he?"

"Shut up Bones," he breathed, looking away, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well we are _going_ to talk about it, because if we don't I _will_ take your command away from you until you are in a condition fit enough to take it back." the Doctor said sharply, his tone changing completely to show how serious he was about that.

Kirk looked up at him sharply, his eyes slightly wider than normal before his mouth opened and closed; he swallowed and slowly looked down at his bruised wrist, "I needed to find him... Nothing else matters except making him pay for what he has done... I haven't had time to sleep... And eating... I... I'm not hungry." he lied. He knew full well that if he had let someone else in on his plans he could have slept all he had needed to, and the hunger had subsided after the first week of starvation, it was only the coffee which had been keeping him on his feet and it was painfully obvious to the man in front of him.

"Jim..." Bones sighed softly and leaned forwards until his friend had no choice but to look at him, "I have never seen you like this before and I am worried about you, I mean I am really worried about you. If you carry on like this it won't be long before you join Khan, or even worse you will die and when he pulls through he will be the one alone. Do you think he will think twice about decimating the entire city if that happens?"

"I... I'm sorry," he conceded, "I just... I feel so..."

"Its alright, I understand." he said in a slightly more soothing tone, "You're depressed Jim, and I can understand why you would be. I want to put you on a mild dose of anti-depression tablets to help you get back to your normal self and until that time you are going to come and live with me. I've got a spare room and at least then I can take care of you properly. But you have to promise me you will start eating again. I don't want to have to admit you and feed you through tube, it isn't pretty."

The blond faltered and shook his head, "I can't impose on you like that, you said when we graduated that if you ever had to share a room with me again you'd hang yourself and-"

"And I was joking," McCoy said slightly sternly, "Let me help you Jim."

"I..." he paused at the expression on his friend's face and he felt his resistance crumble, "Okay."

The brunet nodded once and smiled slightly, "Then it is decided. Good."

Jim fell silent as his wrist was treated for the break, the miracles of modern medicine. He found himself remembering the day he had gone and sat with Khan in his hospital room, the bastard had broken his wrist twice in succession while distracting him with conversation and he had never even noticed the breaking. He missed being superhuman. He missed Khan.

Blinking suddenly, he looked at his friend again, "Did you said _'when Khan pulls through'_ as in..."

"Yeah, I made the conclusive results a week ago, that was why I was calling you so much. I wanted to tell you that he has recovered from the hypothermia and the beating he sustained; all that remains now is to get him into a stable condition where we can finally wake him up." Bones answered.

A small laugh of disbelief escaped him, "I... You mean he isn't going to die?!"

"That is what I said."

"I... Bones you bloody miracle worker!" he smiled slightly and ran a hand through his hair, feeling his heart lift slightly, "I can't believe it."

"Do you want to see him?"

"No I..." he frowned, "I... I do." he surrendered.

The brunet nodded, "Alright, we can go and see him before I take you back to my apartment. He's going to be fine; he'll be back to his normal pig-headed self in no time."

"What about his DNA?" he asked curiously.

"From the tests I have run it seems like he is as human as you and me. He isn't superior anymore. But I can't be fully certain until he wakes up." he shrugged, "I guess if he is normal he will just have to get used to being like the rest of us. And I am sure he won't mind as long as he has you." he added with a knowing smile.

Jim fought to keep the flush off is cheeks and he cleared his throat, "Shut up Bones..." he said with a slightly lighter tone now some of his stress had been elevated, "How's Spock?"

"He's fine. Worried about you and acting like a lost puppy with you to argue with but he'll be a lot better once he knows you are still alive. He went around to your apartment a couple of times to try and find you but he said you didn't answer."

"How did he find my apartment? I didn't tell anyone where it was?" he frowned.

"This is Spock we are talking about, he is the... Master at finding skivers isn't he?"

The blond laughed at that, nodding slightly, "Yeah... Yeah that's true! He is." he sniggered slightly before he calmed himself and mellowed, "Thank you Bones."

"Don't thank me Jim, it makes me extremely uncomfortable."

"Yeah right."

"I could throw up on you?"

"No thanks."

-/-

It was about half an hour later, when Jim had had his broke wrist re-set an put in a light weight cast, that Bones took his slightly fragile friend to a room down the hall where Khan's cryotube was being kept so that he could be monitored; the closer their got the more he saw that the blond was becoming a little less confident than he usually was and although he was trying to hide he behind witty banter Bones could see the laughter didn't reach those dark blue eyes. He had only ever seen Jim scared twice before; the first time had been just after getting control of the Enterprise from Spock during the Nero crisis, for a split second there had been uncertainty in his eyes. The second time had been after Admiral Marcus had sworn to decimate the Enterprise and her crew despite Jim's pleading and apology, the fear in his eyes had been so prominent and real as he had turned to them all and said "I'm sorry". It was two memories that would never leave him.

They came to a stop outside of Khan's room, Bones rested a hand on his friend's shoulder before he pushed the door open and ushered him inside; he shut the door as he stepped in after him and walked over to the cryotube, "We don't have to stay for very long but I think it would do you good to see him, just so that you can remember that he isn't dying; he isn't in a mess and he is getting better. At the moment I bet you are constantly replaying the last memory you have of him and that will stop you from getting better as well. Come here Jim, come on."

The blond lingered by the door for a moment before he swallowed hard and walked forwards slowly, his legs feeling like lead as he made the cautious approach to the bed and the cryotube. As soon as he was close enough he suddenly felt as though he _had_ to look and he sped up, arriving at the side of the tube and looking in through the glass at Khan's face.

He looked tranquil, like he was enjoying a nice long sleep; there was none of the pain or shock that had been on his face in the hanger of the Rebellion, Jim felt a sense of calming rush through him in the wake of seeing his face and he suddenly felt incredibly stupid for having isolated himself like he had. He let out a breath and rested his hand on the glass over his lover's face, wishing he could cup his cheek or brush his skin, maybe just slide his fingers through his hair. Anything. His calming feeling was followed by a sense of loneliness and he swallowed it down.

"I miss him, Bones." he breathed, "I never thought... I... Well you know what I am like, I don't let people get close... I just... Use them but... He was different... And I didn't... Bollocks I never even told him how I felt..."

"I know Jim, but you will be able to tell him when he wakes up," he assured him, "Just make sure you start taking care of yourself and things will work out."

Jim looked up at the Doctor for a moment, meeting his gaze before he swallowed hard and licked his lips, and finally the words came tumbling from his lips before he could even try to stop them, "I love him."


	23. Chapter 23

**Super fast update! Thanks for the reviews and the comments, I am glad you enjoyed the last chapter! This one is much more light hearted and a bit comical to start with! You may also remember that toward the start of the story Khan had to experience Jim's tea making abilities, well that comes into focus again in this chapter as a bit of a joke so I hope you enjoy that :P**

**Warning: Enough fluff at the end of the chapter to make you melt into a puddle!**

**Chapter Twenty Three: The Twinkle In My Eyes:**

It was strange to live with McCoy again after so long on his own, he had almost forgotten the comfort he got from simply sharing a living space with a friend. Life had been too hectic for him to relish any such happening with Khan, but at least now he was hopeful that he would get that chance. Khan was going to live, and the moment he woke up Jim was going to be there and he was going to tell him those three words he dared not speak, words which he had feared for far too long. He deserved to be happy, didn't he?

The medication Bones had given him was helping, despite making him drowsy and a little out of touch with things he suffered no side effects, and in fact the drowsiness helped him to catch up on the hours of sleep he had lost while plotting his vengeance against his father. His paranoia was fading fast in the wake of his renewed sleeping pattern, and food had returned to his diet. As soon as Bones was comfortable with his increasing weight he had relaxed a bit, no longer observing Jim's meals like a vulture.

A week passed in that fashion; with Jim's improving health and mentality things seemed to be a lot less hyped up and stressful than they had been. Starfleet had investigated the bomb at the industrial site and confirmed that the bomb found had been the same as the previous two; they had also confirmed that the terrorist had disappeared for the time being with no trace of him being found in the area. It remained that only Bones, Spock, Khan and Jim knew absolutely conclusively that the terrorist was George Kirk, and it was going to remain that way because Jim had been so reluctant to inform people.

Perhaps it was out of some misguided sense of disappointment, a desire to maintain the name of George Kirk. Or maybe it was his own vanity getting in the way, his pride in being known as the son of the man who had saved eight hundred lives with nobility and honour. He wasn't sure anymore, but regardless of the reasons he wasn't going to tell anyone the truth. Not until he was ready. The terrorist, as far as Starfleet was aware, was still an unknown assailant.

Wearing only a pair of pale blue pyjama bottoms, Bones padded into his front room where Jim was sat fiddling with the modified PADD he had used to track down George. The Doctor sat down on the other side of the coffee table and slowly nudged a mug of steaming tea towards his friend, "You still playing with that thing?"

"Yeah... Just two... Minor problems that... Damn... Make that three minor problems which need tweaking." he said as he tampered with the device.

"Right... You know if you asked Spock around he'd probably help you with it. He is a Science Officer you know?"

"Yeah, but he would also lecture me on the Starfleet Regulations of... Oh I don't know... Manhandling Starfleet equipment without due care and attention." he said with a faint smirk as he took a sip of tea, "Mm, that is so much better than the crap I make."

"I don't think Starfleet has a Regulation for that Jim... Oh, no, I see sarcasm," the brunet rolled his eyes before he scoffed, "I know. I shudder to think how Khan put up with that shit. Its like poison."

Jim grinned widely, "First time he tried it I thought he was going to spit it back out. He went for the polite road and drank it though."

The Doctor cringed, "The whole cup?"

"Yep, the whole lot. Same as at my mum's place." he smirked wickedly at the memory of the very mild expression of repulsion Khan had made when tasting the first cup of tea he had made him, "He doesn't know that it is an inside joke about my awful tea making skills... He fell for it hook, line and sinker! Poor bloke..." he cackled.

Bones shook his head, "Brave man... Very brave man. Your tea is like drinking radioactive Klingon piss."

Jim looked slightly disgusted, "Thanks Bones... Always knew you were on my side."

The pair fell into silence after a while, Jim returned to his tinkering while the other read a medical text book. It was no different to their academy days. No different at all. Except that there was a distinct lack of women around the place; which in Bones' opinion proved how serious Jim had been when he had told him how he felt about Khan. If Jim had been any less than one hundred percent committed to Khan, there would have been women everywhere. Although, Bones already knew how serious Jim was about Khan... It had been so obvious from the blonds' reaction when they had found Khan in the hanger aboard the Rebellion. Nothing had ever been more obvious.

Bones lowered his book again slightly as he watched his friend working on the PADD, he found himself getting reluctantly interested, "So when did you actually have time to come up with this idea?"

"Oh, it's something I've been playing around with for years, right back in the academy I was drawing up plans to make this thing. Took me a while to find the right materials to make it but then purloining them from Starfleet HQ's store room doesn't really count as 'finding' them..." he chuckled and kept his eyes fixed on his work, "And then... I spent three weeks holed up in my apartment with nothing more or less to do than mope and work. So that is what I did, I had the material, I had the tools and I had finalised my plans. So I just started making it." he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"How did a brat like you ever end up with so many working brain cells?" the other asked with an exasperated breath.

"Because brains come with beauty and I have that in buckets." he grinned, peeking up at his friend in time to see his eyes roll at the display of vanity, "Besides, I'm not just doing this for me, I think it would be useful for tactical on the ground exploration. Instead of that risk of losing your communicator you can have it built in and fixed to your arm. Then the only danger you have is of falling over and smashing it."

"Yeah, yeah really interesting Jim. But speaking of arms, how's the wrist." the Doctor asked as he pointed to the lightweight plaster cast on the Captain's arm still.

"Sore, but the painkillers are keeping it mostly at bay." he shrugged.

"Hmm, I want to X-ray is again the end of the week to make sure the bone is healing properly."

"This is the only thing I didn't miss about living with you, everything is a medical emergency."

"With you it normally is." McCoy scolded playfully as he returned to his book.

Jim smiled slightly as he looked up at his friend, in truth he had missed these moments of sincerity and tranquillity with his friend; he could see now that locking himself away like he had was foolish and detrimental, he could achieve much more with the help of his friends than he could without them. After all, he had achieved a miracle by repairing the Warp Core... _Fuelled_ by the thoughts that his friends, his family were going to die if he didn't succeed. And they had given him the strength to face his death and win. He owed them more than he had ever realised.

Finally setting his tools aside, Jim ran a hand through his hair and stretched out hugely; finishing his tea before he sat back in the chair in a neutral position, "So... How do you think it will be until you can wake Khan up?" he asked tentatively.

"Couple of weeks, maybe less if his stats remain stable." he answered.

"Oh good... Will he suffer any side effects? You know... Memory loss?" he asked, recalling that when he had woken from his own time spent in cryogenic sleep he had been a little disorientated.

"No he should be fine, considering that the last time I brought him out of the sleep the first thing he said was your name, I would say his memory is usually pretty intact." Bones offered.

Jim smiled at the information and chuckled, "Good... So he won't try to strangle me if he wakes up and sees me standing over him?"

"Well, if it wasme _I_ would strangle you if _I_ woke up with you looming over me, so I would beware." the Doctor teased gently.

"Very funny." he sighed and crossed one of his legs over the other one as he considered being reunited with his dark haired lover.

"I can't believe I am willingly asking this but..." Bones sighed, "How many times did you actually sleep with him? I mean normally you are pretty active in that department and you're always pretty chipper about things afterwards but you never seemed particularly... Different to normal while he was around and it made me curious..."

"Once." Jim interrupted with a sigh.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said... Once," he repeated, "We only... It was only one time. Right before we returned to the Medical Bay before leaving..." he added.

"Are you joking? _You_ were abstaining for _that_ long?!" the Doctor lowered his book, his expression one of disbelief.

"I'm not addicted!" the blond protested before he considered his words, "Alright I'm not _that_ addicted! It just... It didn't feel necessary. It wasn't about the physical side of things we had a... A physiological and emotional connection... A physical one was just... A natural progression over time..." he spluttered.

"Wow... You actually successfully dated someone before getting them into bed." Bones smirked slightly at how much his friend was squirming, "You should be proud..."

"Oh... Shut up." he pouted, "Like your love life is getting anywhere at all right now."

"I'll have you know I have been courting a rather nice young lady from the Science Division." the Doctor answered shrewdly.

The blond stared for a moment, "No way... Carol?!"

"Damn how did you guess just from that?!"

"Well it was always obvious that you had a thing for her..." he shrugged, "How is it going?"

"Very well actually," the Doctor said proudly, "Six dinner dates, four walks in the park and two kisses in the storage room of the Enterprise and she still-"

"Hasn't killed you?" Jim offered with a grin.

"Dumped me, you ass."

The two fell quiet as they contemplated their conversation before they both started smirking at each other and before long broke into a fit of laughter at the nature of their conversation. Oh it was good to be home.

-/-

It turned out to be less than the two weeks Bones had predicted; just three days later Jim was called to the hospital by his friend with a tone of urgency. He had initially thought the worst, however when he had arrived at Khan's room he had been in time to see the McCoy and his troop of nurses lifting the still deeply asleep Khan from his cryotube and onto the bed where he could be wired up to machines and kept an eye on.

Relief had flooded through Jim as he pushed his way into the room and came to stand beside the bed, looking hopefully at his medical friend before he felt his heart leap in his throat as the brunet said those few words he had been hoping and waiting for: "He'll wake up shortly." Jim had been left alone with the dark haired male; sitting on the edge of his bed, holding his hand in his and brushing the back gently with his finger tips. He waited for an hour before the first signs of life began to radiate from his lover.

His overall body temperature began to regulate at an average of 37 while his heart rate and pulse rose to a powerful and confident rate; his breathing grew more independent and fingers twitched in retaliation to the gentle touching on the back of his hand. As he noticed this, Jim shuffled up a little closer and began brushing his lover's cheek with the backs of the fingers of his cast encased hand. He smiled slightly as he saw Khan's eyes flicker in response and he felt intense excitement to know that he would be awake soon.

Holding his breath, Jim's eyes widened slightly as he watched Khan's pale eyelids slowly flutter until they came open, revealing those beautiful ice blue eyes which had the mirth and the brightness of all the stars in the sky. The blond smiled, trying to restrain his emotions as he saw recognition and memory return to his face.

"Hey," he greeted, grabbing a cup of water and a straw before he popped it in his mouth, "Hey, how are you feeling eh?"

Khan watched him for a moment, sucking the liquid up the straw before he pulled back, slightly confused by the sensation of pain running through him, "I... Feel like I have been run over by a truck..."

"Yeah... I'm not surprised. You are lucky to be alive at all..."

"What happened? I can't remember anything past falling asleep in the hanger..." he breathed.

"George locked you in and turned the temperature down, he tried to freeze you to death and it was just the remnants of your healing ability which saved you. But... Khan it... It's all gone now... You... You're not superhuman anymore... You're... Like me." he said uncertainly.

"I know..." he said simply, "I know I am. I knew when it happened, I felt the change."

The blond frowned faintly, "How did it happen?"

"When he stabbed you... I dragged you out of harms way and I kissed you... There was blood on your lips, blood contaminated by the antidote to my DNA, it took effect on me. George broke my arm in a later fight and it did not heal as it should have done."

"I... I'm so sorry Khan... I didn't realise... I..." he looked down as he realised it was his fault and he sighed heavily.

"I do not blame you James, I am not angry and I am not bothered by it," he told him, "All that matters to me is that you are safe. How did you survive?"

"Spock and Bones transported aboard the Frigate and found me, they saved me. I even have a scar to prove it!" he chuckled weakly.

"And your wrist?" he asked.

"I... Let's discuss that later. For now I just want to relax in the knowledge that you are alive. Because I so nearly lost you Khan and... God you have _no_ idea what it would do to me if you died... It would kill me Khan..."

"I do know... It would kill me to lose you as well," he said up slowly with some assistance and cupped the back of Jim's head, pulling him in close until their forehead's were touching, "I have never felt this way before, even when my own people began to pair off and have children of their own, I remained alone because there was no one strong enough, no one smart enough and no one who could tame me enough to capture my interest. But you, when I met you there was something different. You challenged me, you fought me even when you couldn't do damage and from the moment we met you completely captivated me. No one has ever touched me or be touched by me intimately, I never desired anyone before I met you. I love you James Tiberius Kirk, flaws and all." he breathed.

Jim felt his eyes fall closed as he listened to him, his chest tightening in shame as he heard how faithful to himself Khan had been; he wanted to be able to tell him that no one had ever touched him before, that he had never been with anyone, that he had never wanted anyone... But he couldn't, because it would be a lie. He felt shame for his actions and his feelings suddenly felt sullied for his own behaviour. He swallowed and was about to tell him as such when the thought died on his lips, the memory of his conversation with Bones coming back to him as he recalled how his friend had said how different he had been with Khan; he realised the Doctor had been right, the fact that their connection had been more than simply physical proved that there was something more to it. He opened his eyes and looked at Khan.

"Khan I..."

"You do not have to say it, I already know." the other smiled softly.

Jim clenched his jaw in determination and cupped his lover's face in his hands before he kissed him softly but deeply, he pulled back by a hair's breadth and swallowed, "Khan I love you." he said quickly, before he could chicken out; he closed his eyes as he expected some Earth shattering paradox of absolute evil to come along and ruin everything. But after a few moments, when it became obvious that no such occurrence was going to happen, he looked up slowly and met Khan's gaze, his cheeks pinking in the wake of his confession as he saw the surprise on the others face.

"I... Thought you were against those words?" Khan asked sceptically.

"That was before you nearly broke your promise and left me," he said quietly, "When I realised that I would rather destroy the entire city than lose you... Because you mean more to me than... Than anyone else ever has. I wish I could say the same things as you, I wish I could say that no one had touched me or I had never touched anyone but I can't... I was a whore... I used sex to make me feel better about the issues I had with life itself and you know what? I regret it so much... I wish... I wish none of it had happened but I can't change it now and if you can accept me then... Then... I can promise you loyalty and I can promise you that you will never be alone."

A chuckle escaped his lips and Khan brushed the blonds' cheek with the back of his fingers, "I told you, none of that bothers me. I mean, what else were you going to do until you found someone as awesome as me?"

"Okay, stop that, you sound like me." Jim pouted before he leaned in and kissed him again, "I love you... And I wish I had said it sooner because... You deserve to know."

"As do you, James, as do you."


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks for the continually amazing response to this story, it means a great deal! Fingers crossed that we might reach 200 reviews by the end! ^^**

**Warning:**** Jim and Khan smut**

**Chapter Twenty Four: Nightmares and Squabbles:**

In the days following Khan's awakening, things changed for the better and for the worst; McCoy was pleased with the man's progress and discharged him, in lieu of which the Doctor was then happy to allow Jim to return to his own apartment now that there was someone there to look after him. Khan had been less than impressed when the very same Doctor had then proceeded to inform him of Jim's fragile condition, and what the blond had been like during the period of his cryogenic sleep. To say the least, he was displeased that Jim had allowed himself to get into such a bad way.

Jim, on the other hand, was ecstatic; considering that he had finally come clean about his feelings the the world had not exploded as a result, he deemed it to be a good sign. And not to mention Khan had not walked out, disappeared or died in response to him coming clean. No, things had been going very well in that department.

So then, you may wish to ask, had changed for the worst?

James was having nightmares. Vivid, habitual, three hour long nightmares that left him trembling and unusually quiet. Sometimes these nightmares were about George; sometimes they were about fire raging through the Bridge of the Enterprise; some of them were about his own death... But all off them were about Khan, and John Harrison.

More and more often he was caught pensively thumbing his original lover's watch with a thoughtfully distant expression that indicated recollection and reflection, according to Spock who had taken several psychology examinations and knew how to read the language of the body.

Khan, despite what you might think, was actually a very patient person, and he had been more than willing to wait for Jim to open up to him and talk; more so after their shared declaration of love, however once the nightmares and the vacant thinking face had begun his patience had begun to wear thin. He wanted to be there for him, in every way possible, but there were still some walls between them that were yet to be broken down. It was the same for him as well, there were events and memories that he wasn't yet ready to share, and to an extent he could understand Jim's desire for privacy. But when that privacy threatened his well being, something had to be done.

Sitting down slowly, Khan lifted his mug of coffee to his lips, looking over the rim as he watched his lover hang up after finishing a call with the Enterprise's Chief Engineer.

"Everything running smoothly with the repair work?" he asked, he would have to start this conversation carefully or else Jim would clam up.

"Yeah, Scotty assured me that everything is going according to plan so far, we should be ready to take off again in about a month." the blond sighed, "I really wish people would stop insisting on blowing holes in my ship. You would not believe the ear bashing I get off the Admirals for it."

"Oh I think I would," he chuckled, "I expect it seems worse to you because of your condition." he eased in slyly.

Jim raised an eyebrow, "What condition?" he asked a little sharply.

"Well, lack of sleep. You must be tired from all those nightmares." Khan ventured, holding his gaze easily.

"They're nothing I can't handle. I'm fine."

The dark haired male sighed and sat forward, "You can't lie to me James, you should know that by now." he murmured, "Just... Talk to me. That's all I'm saying. You know you can trust me."

"There is nothing wrong with me." the Captain emphasised a second time, "I'm fine. Nothing is wrong. If you hadn't noticed we've all been through some pretty crazy stuff lately. I think I am allowed to have a few bad dreams while coming to terms with it."

"Yet you are the only one with these bad dreams. And it is not 'some' it is every night. Three to four hours a night. Every time. You are torturing yourself James! And you know it."

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!" Jim yelled suddenly, springing to his feet with his one good hand balled into a fist while the other remained in a plaster cast; he glowered for a moment before he turned on his heel and stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Khan remained seated and clenched his jaw, this _relationship_ stuff was hard work.

-/-

Little over an hour later, Khan infiltrated the bedroom and found Jim to be curled up on the bed, he sighed inwardly and walked over slowly and cautiously. He seated himself on the bed beside his legs and took a breath before he began.

"James, isn't worrying and being open part of being together? I don't mean to be overbearing, and if I am then... I apologise for that. I only do it because I care." he told him gently, reaching out and tentatively resting his hand on his waist.

"I know." the other sighed after a moment, "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Khan took that as a good sign and laid down behind him on the bed, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close against him, "Talk to me. _Please_?"

Jim remained silent, but pressed back against him and allowed himself to be embroiled in his warmth and his scent, "Did you... Ever wonder why I was so angry when I came to talk to you in the Brig about your stolen identity?" he asked after a moment.

"I assumed it was linger fury concerning my part in the death of your mentor."

"Yes, but no at the same time." he sighed and ran a hand down his face before he rested it on Khan's arms, brushing the exposed skin at the base of his sleeve, "John Harrison was no mere name, he was a person. Someone I knew. We grew up together in Iowa and he was one of the only people who didn't find me insufferable by nature."

"He was a friend?" the other asked, "Why would Marcus give me the name of someone who was already a member of Starfleet... But then, there were no records of any John Harrison before me..."

"He died," Jim explained, "Dead men don't tell tales. There was no one to dispute it. Or so Marcus thought. It was part of the reason I wanted so badly to be the one to track you down. I had to be sure."

"Sure of what?" the other frowned slightly.

"I had to be sure that you weren't the John Harrison I knew, I had to be sure that he was dead and that you were an imposter. When you appeared outside of the Daystrom room... I couldn't be sure because you look so much alike. Almost identical. I have no doubt that he would have grown to be very much like you if he had lived," he sighed softly and licked his lips, "John Harrison was the first... The first _everything_ in my life. He was my first friend, my first _boyfriend_, my first intimate relationship... They say you never really forget your first and it is true, you don't. I started sleeping around after John died because I never wanted to fall in love again, because it hurt too much when it was taken away and I was... I was scared of feeling that way again."

Khan paused as he listened to him; his mouth fell open slightly as a jolt of jealousy shoot through him, "So Marcus gave me the identity of someone very important to you... No wonder you looked so lividly at me in the Brig and on Kronos. I was smudging the name of someone you cared about."

"Not any more because Marcus eradicated any traces of the original John Harrison, he no longer exists." the blond sighed, closing his eyes.

The dark haired male paused before speaking, "Do you regret allowing yourself to fall for me?"

"No!" Jim exclaimed, wriggling around until he was facing his lover, "No... No I don't. Being afraid of something as uncontrollable as love was foolish and stupid, and I regret it because I lost out because of it. But at the same time, I am glad that I stayed away because otherwise I might not have been open to falling for you." he reached up and cupped his cheek, "I could never regret you Khan."

"I apologise, I had to ask." he smiled softly and leaned in, kissing him softly, "So what are the nightmares about?"

Jim slumped slightly in his arms and rested his head on the other's chest, playing with his jumper thoughtfully, "You... John... My Dad... Its just... Everything at the moment; I guess the depression is playing on my mind as well."

"Go and see Bones, see if he can give you something to help you sleep. You'll make yourself even more ill if you don't start taking care of yourself. And let me help you." Khan told him firmly but tenderly.

"Alright, but he's on a date tonight so I'll go see him tomorrow afternoon." the blond mumbled.

"That's fair enough." he breathed before he leaned in and kissed him softly.

The kiss spiralled over into a mixture of lazy passion as they tangled their limbs together and slowly descended into more heated exchanges as they pressed against one and other and shared soft gasps at the contact and the friction shared. Cold fingers snuck under the hem of clothing and began to strip it from the model only to be discarded on the floor a moment later.

Khan was the first to be robbed of his clothing, unashamed to lay there in nothing by his skin as he entangled his lover in deep and forceful kisses as their arousal grew and desire took hold; with nimble fingers he plundered Jim of his vestments and threw them aside, rolling over him as he removed his last article of clothing and pressing against him confidently, groaning and the flushed expression on the other's face at the nude contact.

They touched and trailed teasing contact against each other's skin; nipping and biting at their lips and tongues before they advanced and Khan slowly lifted his lover's legs either side of his waist, glancing down at him before he gasped as they rolled suddenly and he found himself on his back looking up, groaning under his breath as the others weight pressed against him and his quickly hardening length.

"Mm... What are... You doing?" he asked between kisses as the blond rocked on his lap, eliciting a groan from him at the friction.

"Saying sorry for being... A moody... Aggressive brat." Jim answered as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Now... Shhh..." he breathed against his ear.

Khan let his eyes slip closed as Jim's mouth moved down to his neck and shoulder, trailing a track of wet kisses against his skin as he did so; a stuttered moan left his lips as he struggled with his possessive dominant side which was telling him to take control of the situation again. He decided, for once, not to listen.

His back arched suddenly as the sinful warmth of his lovers' mouth engulfed him, the feel of his tongue swirling against his flesh sending him wild as he jolted his hips suddenly and felt his throat constricting around him. He let out a gasp, his eyes opening before he glanced downwards, his pupils dilating as he watched him for a moment; his head dropping back down on the pillows as it grew to be almost too much and he let out a slightly strangled groan of his lover's name, panting hard as he was released from his mouth moments later.

When Jim's face appeared above his again, there was a satisfied smirk on his face which Khan instantly took a liking to; he clasped his face in his hands and pulled him down into a forcefully, teeth-knocking kiss, tasting an essence of himself on the others' tongue as he did so. He reached around to prepare his lover for the next step but frowned faintly as his hand was slapped away by one of Jim's and he opened his eyes to look at him, his breath hitching as without warning the blond lowered himself onto the aforementioned lubricated hardness.

They shared a moan of bliss, exchanged between kisses as the blond began to rock on the other's lap, speeding up as he grew accustom to the sensation; groans leaving both of them more frequently as the pace of their intimacy picked up and Khan began to lift his hips against the reoccurring pattern of movement.

Without warning, Khan finally wrapped his arms around his lover and flipped them over, grinning at the other's stunned expression as he lifted his legs a little higher at his sides and began to thrust into him harder and faster with every passing second.

Dual cries and moans echoed through apartment as the pair came close to the end of their tethers and finally, when they could take no more they spiralled over the edge and into post-orgasmic bliss, Jim's back arched as his muscles spasmed and he spilled between them while he felt Khan shudder above him as he too reached his climax.

Panting hard they curled up together on their sides, pulling the bed covers over themselves as they allowed sleep to over take them both, safe in each other's arms despite the problems still concerning them.

-/-

At the same time, across town at the Starfleet operated hospital, Bones finished running the last of the tests results he had taken from Jim a few days before; a frown appeared on his face as he read the tests results over and he leaned against the counter, racking his brain for any such explanation to resolve the feeling of disquiet he felt for having read them.

_'Can't things be normal? Just for once.'_ he thought to himself as he picked up his communicator and called Spock for advice.


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you for the amazing response to the story so far, your reviews are preciously appreciated and I forever enjoy receiving them (special thanks to DefrotingSteve – best spamming session my email inbox has had in a while from all those review alerts :P )**

**This chapter is a bit... Well action packed in a way, a lot happens, lots more questions arise, bit of fluff and... A new character is introduced! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Twenty Five: I Can't Sit Idly:**

"No, I seriously don't understand it Spock. A few days ago his results were... Below average, probably due to his recover, his stabbing, his broken wrist and his mental _fragility_. Now... Now they are off the God damned chart!" the Doctor hissed; his frustration of being questioned by the Vulcan who was not 'in any way, shape or form medically trained' increasing by the minute.

"And what exactly are you suggesting, Doctor McCoy? Because I fail to deduce the problem. The Captain is perfectly healthy according to your report, is he not?"

"Yes! Yes he is healthy, and his statistics are stronger then ever... But do you really not get what I am trying to tell you?!"

Spock raised an eyebrow slowly, "Evidently not, Doctor."

Bones threw his hands up, running one through his hair as he fought the urge to inject the man with the vaccine to Mud Fleas, "Spock... Oh, just look at them yourself!" he barked and thrusted the PADD into the Vulcan's waiting hands.

Spock, still slightly confused by what the man was seemingly irate about, looked down at the machine and began to read the notes and the comparison results from previous tests. And that was when it hit him; his gaze snapped up to meet the Doctors' and Bones must have seen a flash of understanding pass over his usually impassive face.

"Yeah. Now you see the problem." he drawled with a huff.

-/-

Dodging the rapid fire from the enemy ground troops, Jim sprinted across the wasteland; diving for cover behind a partially decimated wall and glancing around quickly he saw Khan not far away, crouched behind an overturned truck with a small but persistently bleeding cut on his forehead. Throwing his gaze out again, he saw Uhura fling herself under a heap of tarpaulin to catch her breath; a moment later he saw her peep out to assess the position of her allied and her foes.

Scotty appeared from no where, sweating and panting just as much as he had been when he had opened the airlock into the USS Vengeance for himself and Khan, the man half collapsed behind the wall next to the Captain.

Gasping to recover his breath he shouted over the roaring of the gun fire from the phaser rifles their enemy was weilding, "Captain! We're getting slaughtered out here! We need to pull back!"

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Scotty!" he shouted back, "I had realised our current predicament!"

"Then you have a plan!" the other realised.

"Uhh..." he paused and looked at him for a moment, "Kind of! I want you to linger back, on my mark rush in and try not to get hit!"

"Excellent Captain!" the Scottishman yelled sarcastically.

The blond rolled his eyes, "Quit whining! You're starting to sound like Bones!"

"Where is he anyway?!"

"Must have gotten held up or something... Spock is missing too! We'll find him later, for now we have to focus on the task at hand!"

"Aye Captain!"

Jim took a breath and popped his head up over the wall to gauge his surroundings, his eyes fell on a partially crushed car before they flittered to the storage shed which was about eighteen and a half feet to its left. He ducked down again, narrowly avoiding being shot in the head by the enemy fire. He cursed and calmed his nerves before he moved into a crouched position and flipped open his communicator, dialling Khan; Uhura and Sulu in case the man had come around from being stunner previously.

"Listen up, we're under heavy fire and we've got no weapons. Our choices are limited, but I have a plan... I want you to watch my movements, to the best of your ability warn me if someone tries to take a pop at me and then on my mark follow my lead! Kirk out." he snapped the device shut again and glanced towards Uhura, seeing her nod briefly in response to his command before he looked at Khan: the taller man looked concerned and was likely smoothing out any and all flaws with the plan that existed but nevertheless, he gave a slow but defiant nod of his head to show his respect towards the authority of his Captain. That was something which made Jim's heart swell with pride.

Leaning back for a moment, he took a breath, flexing the fingers of his still cast restricted hand before he wetted his lips with a flick of his tongue and suddenly ran out from behind the wall; he instantly became the focus of the gun fire. He opted to be absolutely insane, and instead of running in the generic diagonal line to avoid the shots he ran straight towards them – it was what the enemy would least expect after all.

He hissed as a beam of phaser energy skimmed his cheek and burned his skin lightly before he dived into the car he had spotted. It only took him three minutes to hot-wire the thing before he reversed and stomped on the accelerator, driving towards the storage shed as fast as he could. To his delight and triumph he found a stock pile of phaser rifles; he plundered a selection of the them and slung the spares over his shoulder while sets them to stun. Then he climbed back into the car and sped out of the shed, skidding in the sandy wasteland and firing up a plume of dust before he shifted the gear stick and stomped his foot on the accelerator.

He drove the vehicle towards the enemy, sighting a pile of rubble coming up on his right hand side he strapped the accelerator down, kicking the door open and flung himself out of the vehicle, grunting as he hit the ground and flung his communicator open, "NOW!" he screamed into it before he found himself surrounded by his crew as they snatched up the phasers their Captain had purloined and began to return fire, the advantage given to them by the fact that their enemy was forced to scatter as the car headed straight for them.

Jim looked around and accepted Sulu's help in getting back to his feet; he took up his own weapon and began to fire in response, "Have a nice nap, Mister Sulu?" he called in jest.

"One of the better ones since you became Captain, sir." the pilot said in good humour; Jim laughed at this and shook his head to clear his thoughts.

It was only half an hour later when a deafening alarm bell rang over head and the scene around the shifted and reverted back into the glistening white training room, situated in Starfleet HQ.

Kirk panted gently and looked around before he chuckled a little sardonically as he saw the members of their opposition sprawled across the floor unconscious, apparently having been taken unsuspecting by their sudden show of aggression; without a doubt they had utterly decimated the crew of the USS Journeyman.

Oh sweet, sweet success.

-/-

As they disbanded from the extra curricular training session, Jim said his farewells to Uhura, Sulu and Scotty before he smiled and reached out to take Khan's hand in his as they walked, "So... Ho was that for a romantic date?" he askedd.

"You consider training to be a date?" the other responded as he laced their fingers together.

"No... But you do. You are a super soldier after all, it is only natural that you view a training exercise as fun or whatever." the blond shrugged before he looked up at him, "How's the head?" he questioned as he looked at the butterfly stitches holding the gash on his lover's forehead shut.

Khan was momentarily speechless at how observant Jim was about his own personal likes and dislikes; then he realised that he should not have expected anything less of him, he smiled, "Surprisingly sore. It is taking a long time for me to adjust to... Being _normal_." he sighed and lifted his free hand, brushing the stitches gently, "How do you function like this?"

"No good asking me! I had gotten used to being superhuman as well. I'm finding it hard work too." he admitted.

Khan considered this for a moment before he shrugged it off altogether, "Dinner?" he smiled."

"God, yes." he breathed.

Dinner was a very pleasant affair, the majority of which was spent with Jim and Khan dissecting each other's battle instincts.

According to Khan, Jim was impulsive; reckless; irrational; hotheaded and had a tendency to play the hero and almost make himself a martyr. Those were the negatives, but apparently his redeeming factors were that his instinctual nature was normally right; he had a good mind for tactical analysing and he was knowledgeable about where he could find places to take cover; he made sure his team were safe and he made a priority of winning, oh and his fighting ability was pretty decent as well.

Jim had laughed at him for being so picky about it, but he knew that he was right and he admitted that he was correct. He acknowledged that he had a serious issues with his personal management skills and he was almost incapable of listening to anyone who wanted to target or smudge his authority, but he did defend himself by stating that as Khan had correctly implied: he was rarely wrong.

After a few mouthfuls of food and drink, Khan sat back and allowed himself to become a little bit vulnerable (telling himself that it was only ever for James Kirk that he would do this) and asked what his negative and positive points were.

For a moment, Jim had been stumped, was he really meant to dissect Mister Perfect? He decided that he would damn well try to!

"You're strong in every area of combat, and you are aware of how to use your skills to benefit the people around you; you are powerful and quick with an excellent mind for tactical warfare and you can think three steps ahead of your enemy. I am also impressed by how well you take orders; despite being a Captain yourself you are willing to follow my command and you don't second guess me even if you think I am wrong," he had replied, "But you do have a slight tremor in your left hand, it caused you to miss one of your targets earlier on today, but normally you keep it under control and I think that is because you are no longer superhuman."

Jim had been correct, surprisingly, but Khan had added that he was also too concerned about the welfare of his lover during battle and it sometimes interfered with his concentration; he had also said that the tremor in his hand had always been present, but he had been able to quell it when he had been a superior being.

As the pair left the café they had been frequenting, Jim found himself happily nestled against the taller man's side; their arms were linked and he had his head rested against his shoulder as they moved.

The blond lifted his arm, glaring at the plaster cast which was still hindering his life, "I hope Bones can take this damn thing off soon... It is getting in the way of my life. I nearly didn't make the jump out of that damned car because the bloody thing got itself caught up in the seat belt." he grumbled.

"Patience is a so called virtue." Khan teased in response, pressing a kiss against the other's hairline as he saw him pout, "Don't worry so much, it will be gone before you know it."

"It had better be." he sighed before he cheered up slightly, "So, I did want to emphasise how happy I am that you have been mingling with the crew so well..."

"They are your family and by extension my family James how could I not mingle with them?" he asked sceptically, before he saw just how pleased his lover was and he sighed, "I am glad you are happy."

"Well... I have you to thank for that," he shrugged, "Anyway, I just want to thank you for making the effort. I know it can't always be easy with the way some people still judge you and look at you... But you do it anyway and whether or not it is because you want to or because I would like you to... You still do it and it means a lot."

Khan shook his head, "Honestly, it isn't a problem, I have come to see them as an extension of my family, just as my own crew is."

"Yes well... Anyway, I guess I just wanted to thank you and show my appreciation so I kind of got you a gift. And from what I can see it is something you don't have but you could do with."

The taller man stopped walking and stared at him in surprise, "You got me a gift? I... Don't have one for you though..."

"You don't need to get me one. Anyway, here it is..."

Jim lifted a palm sized round black velvet box from his jacket and handed it to the man, stepping back so that he could view his response to the present. Without realising it, he lifting his hand and bit gently on the tip of his thumb, a certain sign of anxiety from his childhood.

Khan watched him for a moment, slightly enamoured by the adorable expression of worry on the blonds' face before he flipped the lid on the box and blinked as he found himself looking at a silver watch; he pulled it from the box and examined it at every angle, looking for flaws or modifications. He stopped suddenly as he saw an inscription on the underside of the watch face and he swallowed as his throat became a little tighter.

_Khan,_

_Nobody loves me like you do_

_James_

It amused him just how much that single line summarised their relationship; it was so true and so fitting for them. Either way you looked at it it suited them: no one love Khan like Jim did and no one loved Jim like Khan did. It fitted. Not to mention that it was incredibly important that James had allowed for his name to be placed at the bottom of the inscription; it _showed_ beyond all doubt of the imagination that he was not ashamed of their relationship and that he was happy for the world to know about it and that was what meant the most to Khan. He slipped the time piece on his left wrist and looked at how the silver metal contrasted against his skin, giving it a polished and elegant appearance.

"It is perfect, thank you." he announced before he slid an arm around Jim's waist and pulled him against him, thanking him with a deep and toe curling kiss which left them both breathless and flushed

"That is a hell of a compliment coming from you."

"It deserved to be complimented." Khan breathed against his cheek, "Thank you, James."

"Any time." the blond answered before out of instinct he reached up and put his arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly and warmly, relishing the feeling of having the embrace returned wholeheartedly.

When they parted, the paused to look at each other before they shared a slightly awkward chuckle and set off down the street again this time hand in hand.

-/-

George Kirk paced the room slowly, the knuckle of his index finger pressed loosely against his chin as he considered his options very carefully and with a great deal of consideration. Everything needed to be perfect, everything had to go smoothly and everything had to be done with absolute success in the forefront of his mind.

He looked around suddenly as the sound of an opening door caught his attention and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as his long awaited accomplice finally arrived, ladded with two large duffel bags.

"About time you arrived, I've been waiting over two weeks." the former Starfleet Captain said snidely.

"Yes well, you know how it is... Returning from the dead to get revenge for the terrible things done to you takes some energy and motivation. Neither of which I had until you sent me this picture." the stranger answered solemnly before he held up the A4 sheet of paper which had a printed out picture of Jim and Khan kissing on the balcony of the apartment that they shared, "Who is the man he is with? And when do I get to kill him?"

George's eyes darkened with amusement and a chuckle escaped him as he saw the way the other's jaw clenched in anger, "Don't worry, there is all the time in the world to explain that. For now, get yourself unpacked and comfortable, we have a lot to discuss."


End file.
